Play Story
Shadow Song's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Concepts & Originality | #24 | 3.739 | 3.739 |
| Overall | #31 | 3.377 | 3.377 |
| Adherence to Theme | #32 | 3.261 | 3.261 |
| Flow & Clarity | #35 | 3.130 | 3.130 |
Ranked from 23 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
This one was unusual. I wasn't sure about the second person writing, but the story itself was great and really won me over. You successfully created a little slice of OPR mythology.
Thank you dearly!
I was originally going for more element-based spirits for the gods, but upon rechecking the lore for the saurians, frog mages thought of as gods due to magic powers really stuck with me.
This one was unusual. I wasn't sure about the second person writing, but the story itself was great and really won me over. You successfully created a little slice of OPR mythology.
Interesting concept and well done. I liked the “old folk tale” vibe. Was it my old eyes or did the font get a lot smaller half way through?
There were a few errors in the first few paragraphs which made me stumble a little.
Interesting.
Could you please point out some of the errors? I try to do a good job with editing, but was a little rushed this jam.
The sort of player-perspective thing has never really been to my tastes, but it has been nonetheless done properly. Otherwise a very nice tale.
Glad to know you still got something out of it even when the base idea wasn’t the most appealing to you!
I knew it was a risky story structure when I wrote it; I’m just glad it’s clicked with as many people as it has.
Really excellent descriptive work, and an inspired use of fonts to convey tone. There's a spark in the writing here - a spark that I'll admit my own entry is lacking!
I’ll be the judge of that!
Your story is next on my feed, and I can’t wait to read it.
Also, thanks for the kind words!
Really enjoyed what you wrote here, especially since I absolutely love all things Saurians. That being said I'm not sure that the overall wrapping story contributed much, I would have liked to see there be a greater takeaway from that part of the story. Great writing regardless!
You really nailed the feel of a folkloric myth with this. I was captivated by the story of Shadow Song. As others have said, I think the story could have benefitted by a higher word count. The heavy use of patois also made the frame story a little hard to follow, at times.
Well-made folkloric tale atmosphere, although it would have benefited from developing the central story more.
1000 words is far too few, in my opinion.
I originally had six or seven paragraphs more of the central story, but had to cut for time. I cut even more of the descriptors. I didn’t even get to describe the inside of the hut properly.
Perhaps I was just too ambitious.
The difficult part was balancing what descriptors to keep, as losing the right ones in the tale makes it more mysterious, and the wrong ones in reality make it bland.
I could have done better.
Still, glad you enjoyed it!
1K words is limiting, but with a big jam like this anything longer starts to get unmanageable for reading and rating purposes. Personally, I like flash fiction lengths because it forces me to be razor sharp with my words. Having a big idea, then needing to take it apart, examine it closely, and put it back together again in a way that fits inside the limits.
Yeah, I think I just need to be a little less ambitious next time.
This was super fun to read! Loved the second person perspective and vivid telling!
I’m so glad you liked it!
I really was trying to do something different from what’s normally posted.