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MIRRORS- The Battle of Atun Canyon's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Adherence to Theme | #2 | 4.200 | 4.200 |
| Overall | #12 | 3.800 | 3.800 |
| Concepts & Originality | #21 | 3.750 | 3.750 |
| Flow & Clarity | #22 | 3.450 | 3.450 |
Ranked from 20 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
Overall, this was a very nice story.
I’m a big fan of lone fighters taking on forces they couldn't defeat without utilizing their intelligence.
However, the grammar and some misspellings knocked a few points off.
Still a solid read.
Concepts & Originality 4/5
I really like the premise, the setup of the story, and the imagery. Very cool.
Flow & Clarity 4/5
The story is very well written and structured, using evocative descriptions without becoming boring or dense, or making the narrative feel rushed in the limited word count. There are a couple of minor typos/mistakes, but overall I'm quite impressed.
Adherence to Theme 5/5
The resolution was a very creative solution/use of resources that had sufficient buildup to make it feel satisfying, rather than lucky or convenient.
If you want to discuss any of my feedback/ratings, feel free to @ me on the OPR discord.
Thank you so much, both for the praise and the solid critique! They're both very much appreciated!
I know it seems strange, but if you have any time, i would really appreciate if you be willing to point out some of the typos. I'm sure they're there, I'm just not able to find them, and I'd appreciate the help!
Sure! Fair warning, I'm no expert, so I may be mistaken in some instances or miss something.
Random apparent typos/mistakes:
There are a few instances when "it's" (it is) is used instead of "its" (possessive form):
A comma should be used with "and" when it is joining two independent clauses, not an independent to a dependent. It is used with "and" when linking an independent to a dependent clause in several sentences:
I hope this is helpful.
Thank you so much, my friend! These are great catches, and definitely things I can look out for in the future!
I appreciate you!
Very nice story and best use of a "rounding error" ever! 😁
Cheers, thank you Greenskin! Yeah, as much as the DAO are logical and driven by that, it still felt right to give them SOME SENSE of humor! 😁
I enjoyed the imagery of a canyon frozen in flowing green crystal, encapsulating the encroaching *Dynasty. Nicely done!
Encroaching DYNASTY, but YES! Thank you so much!
I like it! The setting is really strong - it avoids rote sci fi tropes while still feeling really alien and cool!
Thank you! Yeah, I don't mind alien cultures in scifi, but I prefer them to be more relatable that gawk-worthy for their weirdness. It makes their characters easier to invest in. People are people, after all, alien or not.
This was a super fun read, I enjoyed the clever use of resources!
Thank you so much! I appreciate the kind words!
Not bad. I like the main characters “improvise, adapt, overcome” mentality when faced with insurmountable odds. Seems to play with the concept of “300” alongside the nerdy warrior (and there are a lot of those). Good job.
I appreciate that! I actually hadn't even thought about 300 but that's a very fair comparison! Thank you!
STORY DESCRIPTION:
The DAO Union & Eternal Dynasty have been uneasy neighbors for years. Now, after Clan Xhao has launched a surprise attack on a mostly unarmed DAO Union Research Station located in neutral space, Security Coordinator Ni'lak must find a way to protect the civilian researchers in his care, or see them turn into the first casualties of a bloody war.