Play book
Alternative Fuels's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Adherence to Theme | #6 | 4.050 | 4.050 |
| Overall | #15 | 3.783 | 3.783 |
| Flow & Clarity | #19 | 3.550 | 3.550 |
| Concepts & Originality | #21 | 3.750 | 3.750 |
Ranked from 20 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
Great concept. A story like this is hard to build up in a single page. I think you have some great bones here though. And the world building is solid. Good work!
A definite five-stars in adherence to theme, though I do have to note how it feels anti-climactic. The conclusion is effectively: he did the thing he thought about doing. Posing using bodies as an option much earlier detracted from any major significance it could have had as a conclusion.
Still, one of the better ones I've read so far.
Nice work, I definitely had a chuckle at the end, seems a very Dwarf-like attitude.
I see what you were going for, but had a bit of trouble with the solution from a practical point - still, it was well written and an appreciable amount of world building in such short space
This was pretty good, save for the punctuation and structure for me personally. Gabhammer seemed mostly unbothered by much of the situation he was in, which made the ending feel a bit unemotional, not sure if that was intentional.
Very valid point on how unbothered he seemed, I ended up cutting a line about Gabhammar having to pull himself together before clearing out the captain's chair and I think the story really suffered for it. In general this story's definitely suffered from the amount of lines I had to cut (and planned setups I had to leave unresolved) to get the formatting right. Honestly I feel like I rushed this one too much.
Cheers for the useful feedback!
Nice with the concept. Had fun with it.
Definitely one of the highlights of the jam for me so far! This one stays focused and builds up to a satisfying punchline at the end.