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For All Your Planetary Renovation Needs - OPR Writing Jam #13 Submission's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Overall | #1 | 4.167 | 4.167 |
| Concepts & Originality | #2 | 4.333 | 4.333 |
| Flow & Clarity | #4 | 4.208 | 4.208 |
| Adherence to Theme | #5 | 3.958 | 3.958 |
Ranked from 24 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Hello, Congratulations on being one of the top 3 in the writing jam! Please also send an e-mail to marketing@onepagerules.com so that we can send you your prize models! In the subject line please let us know that this was a top 3 placement!
Hello, congratulations on being ranked #1 for the writing jam! Please send an e-mail to jobs@onepagerules.com for us to follow up with you (make sure to include a link to your submissions so we can easily identify you). Thanks
Gosh that was good. Took me a minute to realise what was going on but that may be because I've been binging stories all morning. Superb entry.
One of the best, 5 stars all around. No notes!
Excellent, really enjoyed it. "There was just one problem" followed by "..., the problem said" is a delightful line. You managed to fit in characterization for both the characters as well as the background elders really well in such a small space and did it with a "show don't tell" approach. This is one of my favorites.
Novel representation of the goblin... a lot more articulate than the stereotype. Written adroitly.
Thank you! I was getting caught up on OPR lore before the jam, and the new-ish stuff around the Goblin Reclaimers really piqued my interest.
Fun read, but how close was the Lagrange Point??
Something something orbital mechanics waves hands vaguely. L1 is far enough away that it would be easier to just dump the Object into the star instead of doing a rendezvous with the planet, and it would have made more sense to just have the station be in orbit, but it's my right as a
space fantasyscience fiction writer to follow in the "parsec" tradition and misuse impressive-sounding terminology.(The main reason I didn’t want to put the station in orbit is because then it'd be easy enough that I'd lose my justification for the Eternal Dynasty hiring a contractor instead of just dealing with it themselves.)
Ah no worries, perhaps there was a tidal-locked moon really nearby (would be a nice view), creating a very close point that was making the orbit math super complex that calling in a Gobbo Consultant was the only answer :)
I always like the stories that embrace scenes of the larger setting rather than just covering battles. Nice work!
Thanks! I try not to do too much fighting in my jam entries: partly to flesh out the universe a little more, partly because writing good action is hard and it scares me, and partly because battles have a nasty habit of taking up valuable words.
nothing I love more then goblins being goblins!
Between goblins and ratmen, this has been a great jam for fans of Weird Little Guys. I was a big fan of the way you played Ratchet and Gribble off each other.
Absolutely brilliant. The characters and their feelings are well described and subtle humour throughout, great stuff.
Trying to do a humorous story is a bit unusual for me, as I'm never quite sure if it'll land. Thanks for your feedback!
I feel this could almost be a little "cut to" like they have in Family Guy. Factions warring on the beaches, someone asks why there's a bunch of satellite debris here: cut scene. Marvelously written. Good luck with the Jam.
That's exactly the sort of self-containedness I was going for - in past jams, I've really struggled with picking a story that can be done in one page without feeling incomplete. Good luck to you too!
Good development of personalities. Great flow of story line. Nice work.
Thank you! I think developing characters is the biggest challenge in a story of this length, so I'm glad you think I made it work.
Really great vignette. A bit absurd in tone, but it totally works. Love the humorous detachment of the narration, i.e "The problem said." Great stuff.
I'm glad you liked it! "The problem said" was one of the few pieces of my first draft to survive to the final, so it's good to know it lands tonally.
Well written and good flow. It is unique too.
Thank you! Good flow is high praise coming from the author of "The Dog Star Blues".
Great work as always Sup. The theme aligned perfectly with the tone in the stories I've seen from you. I love the pacing and how straightforward it is. This story oozes with character.
Thanks for the kind words! For this jam, I was specifically focusing on pacing - in a lot of jam entries, including my past work, you can see where the story should have been longer but was cut down to fit, and I didn't want to make that mistake again.
This is such a great Grimdark slice-of-life story. The characters are really well formed for such a short piece and I'm a sucker for goblins in stories. Great job.
Thank you! Strong characterization is always something I aim for in my jam entries, but it's difficult to pull off in a thousand words.
Nice! I like the idea of exploring non-combative relationships between aliens!
I could see that in your jam entry too! I think the setting is much more interesting when there's reasons for fighting within factions and cooperating outside them
Love the concept - very Hitchhiker's Guide! And I thought the Future was supposed to be GRIMDARK! Amirite?!?
Thank you! I know it's a wargame, but surely not everyone is fighting all the time, right?