Play story
A Miss Better Than A Mile [AoF]'s itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Adherence to Theme | #1 | 4.208 | 4.208 |
| Overall | #7 | 3.972 | 3.972 |
| Concepts & Originality | #12 | 4.042 | 4.042 |
| Flow & Clarity | #16 | 3.667 | 3.667 |
Ranked from 24 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Leave a comment
Log in with itch.io to leave a comment.
Comments
Hello, thank you for participating in the Writing Jam! Please email fill out this form so that we can send you the participation models: https://forms.gle/obn5BW3iw2LyaPiPA
Oh yeah, this was delightful.
Loved the character work and overall story, though the battle with the swordsman dragged slightly.
Definitely one of my favorites.
Thanks for the compliments! :)
I think I've read so much Black Library over the years, that I definitely wanted to include some fighting. Everything had been bouncing around in my head before I got anything down on paper - but was pretty surprised that it came out as the longest scene/section... In my head, it was balanced a bit more evenly across the whole story!
Great concept
Thank you! It genuinely came to me after the Jam theme was announced - prior to that I'd been fixating on giant whales! ;)
I'd like to read about the whales too
Haha. The whale was dead (sorry). I was thinking about two opposing faction guys, stranded on a dead whale corpse floating isolated in the middle of the ocean and forging an unlikely friendship... Didn't fit the theme but was fun bouncing ideas around!
Ha that's a great idea
Really excellent pacing, and a fight scene that balances character exploration with physical actions very well. This is great.
Thanks for the feedback - yeah, I do have a habit for slipping in and out of the moment for idle musings - it even works sometimes! Cheers for the compliments!
Awesome. My favorite yet. If you're not writing anything longer-form, it might be worth trying out.
Thank you, that's so kind. I wish I had the time to try! ;P
I'm a big fan of this story. Your prose is polished, and it's really a feat to cram this much story into the word count while keeping it so well-organized.
Thanks for the compliments! About 13 years ago someone told me "Writing is rewriting" and I've never forgotten it - but yeah, having the story bouncing around in my head in 4 scenes was the easy part, making it fit into 1,000 words and one page was the tricky bit! Good luck to you too! :)
That was great! Love the story of a rat escaping a dangerous situation and using trickery to overcome a superior opponent and hey wait a minute, that's what my story is about :D Hope you go far rat bestie <3
Thank-thank, rat bestie, hope you go far too! <3
Interesting stuff. It gives a different view of the Rats than I'm used to, which is nice. Big thumbs up.
Thank you! It's interesting, I think most of my pre-OPR exposure to ratmen was through GW Skaven and they're all underhand and sneaky - but the OPR short stories and background talks a lot more about nobility and self sacrifice so I didn't see any reason why they had to be anti-heroes. Cheers for the encouragement!
Loved the depiction of the rats. Fabulously written, great tone. I'd read more from this writer. The applicability of the theme was really clear throughout, but I feel it fell a bit flat at the end there.
Thank you, much appreciated! The end did need a bit of exposition just to tell the story I wanted to tell - so I take your point about things going a bit flat! Cheers for the encouragement (and see my earlier reply about lines like "I'd read more from this writer."! :)
First one I'm seeing about a ratman. It is very good. I enjoyed the fact that an accident led to a good outcome. Gives me bob ross "happy little accident" vibes. I need the mc's luck. I can roll 20 dice and get 19 1's.
Thanks, I definitely wanted to make it feel like part of the OPR universe and there are a couple of short stories about Vinci vs Ratmen so I wanted to follow on from that. Vinci also come across as one of the more unique OPR factions.
Lol, like that time Bob spilt a bit of red and turned it into a mutilated corpse. :P
I quite liked this one. Very concise writing that makes great use of the limited format.
Thank you! It's strange, I don't know if I like tight word limits or not - my first draft had some more fun details and stuff but having to cut down to 1000 words makes it so much tighter. Anyways, thanks for the feedback. :)
I liked it. I want more.
"I want more" is literally the best piece of feedback anyone can ever give. BIG HEART EMOJI!