Play book
Lightning and Logic's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Adherence to Theme | #3 | 4.154 | 4.154 |
| Overall | #4 | 4.051 | 4.051 |
| Flow & Clarity | #5 | 3.923 | 3.923 |
| Concepts & Originality | #11 | 4.077 | 4.077 |
Ranked from 26 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
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That was brilliant, funny and engaging. Usually I try to give some kind of constructive criticism but I can't think of any. Great action-comedy!
What a fantastic bit of storytelling in such a small space. Your prose is tight, clear, and engaging.
I really enjoyed the read. Good action, good pace, well told. I liked the ending.
If anyone from OPR is reading this... Dumpling miniature WHEN?
This story has been a highlight so far. Great flow and feel. Fun while still feeling there were stakes. Solid all around. Well done. I would read more of this.
Great work
Great story. One of the best I have read in this jam. For me personally, I would have liked it if you hadn't repeated the "close enough" at the end. You had the perfect setup and payoff without needing to specifically say it. It's a small gripe in an otherwise fantastic submission. Great work.
Thanks for the kind words. And I agree with the gripe, I found it such a tough balancing act between laying on the theme too thickly and making it too subtle so as to feel underdone or a throw-away line.
I completely agree with you - it's hard to balance. I didn't make one mention of the phrase 'close enough' and I think some people couldn't see it. I felt the same way as Keith but it's a two day jam and an audience you're not too sure about, so I didn't penalise it. Top job, mate!
Great characterization. Adorable donkey name <3. I hope Dumpling is intelligent enough to not fear the automaton, otherwise they might be running for quite a while.
Loved the twist and creativity of this
I liked this a lot, and a nice implementation of Chekov's Donkey (I think I got that right?). I echo the below about how the character work really hit the ground running. Probably in my S Tier of entries. :)
Thanks! And you'd better believe that I'm stealing the term Chekhov's Donkey.
I thought this was great fun!
Duchies of Vinci, right?
Saw a few grammatical errors, but nothing that removed from the enjoyment of the story. On one hand, I wish it left a few less loose ends. On the other hand, I know as well as anyone how difficult it is to have a perfect story crafted in 1,000 words or less.
Definitely worth the read.
(Edit: forgot to give compliments on character work. I got a great sense of the leads despite the chaos going on, no given backstory, and no chance to express emotion outside of reacting to battle. That's difficult work. Kudos!)
I liked this one a lot - the theme is a very natural part of the story, and the ending payoff/reveal feels both earned and very clever. Well done!