Play book
The Wisdom of Violence's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Flow & Clarity | #1 | 4.321 | 4.321 |
| Overall | #2 | 4.119 | 4.119 |
| Adherence to Theme | #7 | 3.929 | 3.929 |
| Concepts & Originality | #8 | 4.107 | 4.107 |
Ranked from 28 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
Hello, Congratulations on being one of the top 3 in the writing jam! Please also send an e-mail to marketing@onepagerules.com so that we can send you your prize models! In the subject line please let us know that this was a top 3 placement!
Your use of word repetitions is excellent, it's like you take the same word and shine a different light on it every time. And though your piece was very ponderous and deliberate I do think it could have been shortened a little: Between paragraph 3 and 5 we do not learn so much new information, nor did I get a sense of progression. However that is a minor gripe, every single word was a joy to read. Excellent work!
There are a few places where your wording stumbles, but it hardly detracts from the heavy and consistent emotion of the piece. It's a wonderful character study. Nice job!
I'm always open to constructive criticism because I'm far from perfect. Do you mind pointing out some of my stumbles for me? There were a few I saw after uploading that I wasn't so happy with, and want to know if mine and yours align. Reading a few of these entries and thinking how not so far from perfect a lot could be with a professional editor.
Honestly my favorite read so far, everything from the characterization, descriptions, and concept are just perfect!
Beautiful vignette on accepting the mantle of responsibility. Feels like the opening of a sad tale. Really great ambience.
This makes me miss smoking a pipe. Great character and setting.
Well written.
Has all the hallmarks of good writing - you carried the balance of vividness vs 'over-telling' really well. Brooding without becoming painfully angst-y, grim without becoming pretentious. And I really liked that you wrote to the theme.
Thanks. I only spent 2.5 hours writing the first draft, but about 20 hours rewriting and editing with my wife looking over my shoulder. That 1k word limit enforces a particularly concise prose.
Vivid story telling!
Great style and fantastic execution. Congrats on writing an absolute gem.
Really enjoyed this one! You nailed the theme in a way that felt natural. The MC's voice seemed real and the slow build worked well. The ending had just the right mix of pride and sadness, and I liked how it turned into a story about family without going too sentimental. Solid stuff.
Very well written with a good reflective pacing, great subtle use of the theme, and not too heavy on lore just for the sake of it. And you tell a whole story too, not just an excerpt. Heartbreakingly satisfying.
Exceptional! Well executed story. Great tone and deep writing.
Full of emotion without a single line if dialogue.
Beautiful story, it’s one of those concepts you wish you were clever enough to have thought of. Congratulations on creating something so impactful in such a small space. Good luck in the Jam!
Thanks. It's my first ever short story like this. I usually write bloated novels so it was fun to have so much time to edit a single page.
A beautiful perspective of clan, duty and regret.
good
Excellent. A beautifully poignant story, well told, with the theme completely obvious, yet unwritten. Great stuff!
Thank you so much. My hurdle was to convey the theme without specifically saying the words "close enough". I'm glad it came across.