Play book
Haraka's Bane's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Flow & Clarity | #9 | 3.778 | 3.778 |
| Overall | #29 | 3.309 | 3.309 |
| Adherence to Theme | #36 | 2.741 | 2.741 |
| Concepts & Originality | #37 | 3.407 | 3.407 |
Ranked from 27 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
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Well written, and got you invested in the protagonist quickly. It also made me curious about the bauble. Nice work.
I like the action, and the suspense! Great job!
Thank you, kindly.
Oh I love the twist at the end. Noticed a few sentences in the middle all starting with "she" followed by a verb, otherwise stellar writing. Nice one!
Thank you for the feedback. Glad you liked it.
Got many ideas for future writing thanks.
You write action well. Good flow.
You write great action. Great flow and clear visuals. I really liked this entry.
Appreciate the feedback.
Well written, good descriptions that conveyed the struggle Haraka was going through. I thought it a little odd that you mentioned the family when she entered that room, but not again when the guards came in. Could have been a good opportunity to show the guards being cruel/oppressive towards the family as well.
Thank you for the feedback.
Well written, good descriptions that conveyed the struggle Haraka was going through. I thought it a little odd that you mentioned the family when she entered that room, but not again when the guards came in. Could have been a good opportunity to show the guards being cruel/oppressive towards the family as well.
Very good pacing! The action was explosive... LITERALLY!
My only real gripe was that it didn't seem to follow the theme, as least so I saw in the story.
Thank you, kindly. The idea was that at the end, she got close enough to 'success' for what she had set out to do. Tried to be a little subtle about it.
Love the ending.
Great pacing and tone! I really loved the very pragmatic portrayal of her barely surviving falling off the building. It makes the scene relatable and grounded, and is a nice respite from feats of inhuman ability. Great stuff!
Thank you very much for noticing that :)
You did a good job with the pacing of this story - it's a chase scene, and it feels appropriately frantic. The ending was well-done, too: in a different story, it might have felt like it didn't belong, but you managed to make it both unexpected and natural.
Thank you for the detailed feedback.
The ending was pretty funny but in my headcanon the guards just chopped her up...! Fun.
Thank you :)
That was... surprisingly funny. I was expecting a sad story, and yet...
Glad you liked it.
Very enjoyable little chase scene. I will always appreciate subtle uses of the theme!
Thank you, kindly.
liked this one. Good.
Thank you :)