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Dwarven 'Precision''s itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Adherence to Theme | #8 | 3.831 | 3.913 |
| Overall | #17 | 3.604 | 3.681 |
| Flow & Clarity | #24 | 3.448 | 3.522 |
| Concepts & Originality | #32 | 3.533 | 3.609 |
Ranked from 23 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
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Great little story! I think some of your words and phrases repeat and things got a little convoluted in the action sequence. I really enjoyed the payoff hower and all together it was thoroughly enjoable to read.
I think you did an amazing job capturing each characters voice without over doing it. I could clearly tell who was speaking just by their tone and word choice. Nice work!
I enjoyed this. I think if you added a few more characters, you could have a Guardians of the Galaxy in OPR vibe going pretty easily. It made me think about all the people teaming up in small spaces that aren't battle zones all the time. Well done.
My submission was written as a continuation for Unsanctioned Percussive Maintenance that I wrote for one of the OPR Jams before. Save that Unas was an Eternal back then, and his actions during the Dark Elf Boarding in Unsanctioned Percussive Maintenance earned him elevation to Technomancer and a name. I wanted to note that one of his arm plates is from his time as an Eternal and bears hammer marks from Hrothgar's hammer. But there are only so many words I'm allowed. Maybe some day I can write a full manuscript and give it to Tano.
This was a fun one. I enjoyed the interactions between the two characters and it's left me wanting to know more about how the two came to be working together.
If you can find it, in one of the previous jams, I forget which. I wrote 'Unsanctioned Percussive Maintenance' that tells the beginning of their story. Save that Unas had yet to earn a name and was an Eternal at the time not a Technomancer.
Really good flow. Nice job!
Really great development of the theme across such little time. Final line is a quality payoff.
Interesting and filled with character!
Flows well and the characters come out clearly. Well written.