This kinda got me. I liked it.

I played it to the end and I like the message. I'm not big into visual novels so I'm not sure what is typical but I think it could've been a bit more interactive and some parts maybe a little less descriptive, some details can be left to imagination. Some of it seemed also seemed little slow, maybe more options to "explore" the surroundings or something. Overall though I do think you're doing good and should keep going!