This was so great! I loved the relationship with Hippo. It gave a really strong motivation for why you were traveling to these different time periods, both to fulfill Hippo's wishes and to help others the same way they did with you. The mechanic of foraging for items in the junkyard was cool and I liked how these seemingly insignificant items and moments in the past has such a big impact on the future. I had no idea how you would pull off such an expansive story but you did it! One thing that confused me at first was how you could keep finding trash and repeating the conversation with Hippo about needing to make the time machine, but maybe that's because I did things way out of order. Maybe you could simplify it by not having so many junk items, and focusing on just the main 3. Overall amazing!
Positives: Enjoyed the colors aesthetic, at times it played to what was going on and really allowed for me to know who was talking. I liked the abundance of embedded text as well. Magic Nazis was fun.
Critical: Hard to see other options if you have too many items on junk page, some small grammar errors, and it can feel like its going on a bit long since it doesn't have endings but it has rotations in one go.
This one was pretty cool! I like the portrayal of each of the different timelines and the affects that they would have on the present. I will say it was really weird to implement the magical fascism state for saving the Witch in the past, while saving the guy in the more modern timeline ends up saving Hippo in the end. I was definitely shocked when I finished the Torn Bible route. I also do wish the inclusion of Hippo's bloodline in the past was addressed or focused for at least one of the routes. Would've been kinda cool, I think.
the idea is really solid and i like the inventory and the other systems. the writing is pretty good but could have used more editing to make the parts fit together better and clear up some mistakes. i think it could have used more detail and explanation of what is happening and how stuff works both in the main timeline and the time travel. also i think that the magic supremacist timeline was well written but i think it was poorly considered from a thematic/procedural rhetoric perspective.
This was so fun! I played through the western portion first and its hard to write action, but I think you did a really good job with it. I feel like the mechanic of putting different things into the time machine was not really central, it felt like the primary mechanic was essentially clicking continue, so I would have liked to see a little more of that unique junk collection mechanic integrated. Besides that, I loved the story!
I am a big fan of how this is formatted with the center aligned text. I also like the colored text for each person, but the light red is kind of hard to distinguish from the white. It felt like I didn't have a ton of control over where the story went, but I am impressed by how much content there is in this story and how interesting of a concept you pulled off. The shifting setting is a very cool idea and the loop back to the start tied into the time travel mechanic really smoothly.
Comments
This was so great! I loved the relationship with Hippo. It gave a really strong motivation for why you were traveling to these different time periods, both to fulfill Hippo's wishes and to help others the same way they did with you. The mechanic of foraging for items in the junkyard was cool and I liked how these seemingly insignificant items and moments in the past has such a big impact on the future. I had no idea how you would pull off such an expansive story but you did it! One thing that confused me at first was how you could keep finding trash and repeating the conversation with Hippo about needing to make the time machine, but maybe that's because I did things way out of order. Maybe you could simplify it by not having so many junk items, and focusing on just the main 3. Overall amazing!
Positives: Enjoyed the colors aesthetic, at times it played to what was going on and really allowed for me to know who was talking. I liked the abundance of embedded text as well. Magic Nazis was fun.
Critical: Hard to see other options if you have too many items on junk page, some small grammar errors, and it can feel like its going on a bit long since it doesn't have endings but it has rotations in one go.
This one was pretty cool! I like the portrayal of each of the different timelines and the affects that they would have on the present. I will say it was really weird to implement the magical fascism state for saving the Witch in the past, while saving the guy in the more modern timeline ends up saving Hippo in the end. I was definitely shocked when I finished the Torn Bible route. I also do wish the inclusion of Hippo's bloodline in the past was addressed or focused for at least one of the routes. Would've been kinda cool, I think.
the idea is really solid and i like the inventory and the other systems. the writing is pretty good but could have used more editing to make the parts fit together better and clear up some mistakes. i think it could have used more detail and explanation of what is happening and how stuff works both in the main timeline and the time travel. also i think that the magic supremacist timeline was well written but i think it was poorly considered from a thematic/procedural rhetoric perspective.
This was so fun! I played through the western portion first and its hard to write action, but I think you did a really good job with it. I feel like the mechanic of putting different things into the time machine was not really central, it felt like the primary mechanic was essentially clicking continue, so I would have liked to see a little more of that unique junk collection mechanic integrated. Besides that, I loved the story!
I am a big fan of how this is formatted with the center aligned text. I also like the colored text for each person, but the light red is kind of hard to distinguish from the white. It felt like I didn't have a ton of control over where the story went, but I am impressed by how much content there is in this story and how interesting of a concept you pulled off. The shifting setting is a very cool idea and the loop back to the start tied into the time travel mechanic really smoothly.