https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2616423853

While I love VNs, I'm very much NOT the target audience for this kind of VN, so some parts made me... act up. However - I love the artstyle (mostly, Hazel's vampire mode is a bit TOO ugly even by VTMB Nosferatu standards lol), and by the end of my playthrough I was actually fairly engaged in the writing. I also very much dig how much detail you put into the world, describing the accents and whatnot.

Pacing also seems good, "fish outta water" done right I'd say. At least for my taste.

Honestly - this is an insanely good demo. I do wonder how you'll develop the story, keep it up!

Visual novels aren't the type of game I usually play so I don't think I can give much feedback on how well this compares to others in its genre, but I do think the setting of Hong Kong in the 50's(?) is pretty neat.I played through a chunk and listed some bugs and other things I noticed below.

1. I had some issues with the settings menu as well as backgrounds/pictures loading in the first time I started the game up, but those issues didn't crop up when I continued my saved game starting the game up for a second time (Not sure what happened there.)
2. When I started my saved my game the dialogue mode was in 'auto' but 'auto' was not highlighted in red. I had to click 'auto' to put the text advancement back in manual mode.
3. I didn't initially realize you could scroll the map with W & S. Might be something to add an indicator for in the future.
4. I noticed that the SFX for hovering over buttons has a slight delay to it. Feels odd to me when moving my cursor over stuff and then the SFX comes in slightly after it.
5. There was an instance in the narrative where Hazel is said to feel like she was just something to be bargained for or owned by her husband, Leonard. It's a pretty direct statement about her feelings early on where we don't know much about Leonard and I feel like the story could benefit from maybe implying this through character interaction as opposed to directly telling the player through the second person narration. (More showing and less telling.)

The UI for the game is well-done and everything is pretty readable and easy to navigate. I think the color palette for the game in general does well at setting the mood. The background art is quite painterly and eerie and the map of Hong Kong does a good job of cutting the explorable areas up into chunk while drawing your eye to the various quest markers. 

I'm also just realizing as I'm writing this that Undying is an otome game. The vibes I got from playing it now make sense lol. Looks like you've made a lot of them.

I always find it impressive when someone makes a game with proper mechanics using Ren'py. 

Expected her hair to be more red when Saan commented on it being red by default. I see you've been told that the hair dying event can be played indefinitely, and aware of the demo getting stuck at the first feeding.

In my opinion I think it leads you on a bit too much on a linear path, then pretends to give you the reigns only to be able to pick two side-paths, and then back to the linear main plot a bit more, but I understand that storytelling is often a matter of preference. But I figured I should say something.

Music loops well.

I love this game. The setting and the writing are very intriguing mysterious and have me at the edge of my seat to know how it will play out. How will I (protag) cope with her new life, where will my choices lead? etc.
Also what kind of CRIMES is this chinese man into? What are his plans for you? When there was a choice of easy feed in the cafe vs hard feed in the alley it was a very tense moment.

The systems give me a little anxiety on the amount of branching there could eventually be, but the first hour which I played was very linear and just started to open up. 

It would be a nice QOL if hovering over the different quest icons would remind me of the type "main, side, blood, skill etc.". or like a legend on the map reminding me.

There are unfortunately technical issues which prevent me from going further.
The hair dye event doesn't go away after doing it. and the last few missions I did the game soft locked and I had to quit out and restart. Replaying these missions always softlocked and I could make no more progress.

It might make for a nice game if there were save slots and quick save/load. although it could encourage save scumming. it would let players who want to explore all options through multiple playthroughs get what they want.