I judge these by whether I’d actually run them. I could pick this up with very little prep. The “cure for free will” hook and Perfect Souls are clear, punchy, and easy to pitch to players at the table. The locations and NPCs each suggest a different mode of play, and the Overclock track plus GLITCH table give me built‑in tools to escalate without extra prep. Regarding D5: I'd just make 6 "roll again" ;). The corporate sin/addiction angle lands, the urban crawl from noodles to pipes to pristine spire feels good, and it has enough consequence that I’d be happy to run it.

Excellent use of space and art, the plot is dense, but the layout never feels cramped, which makes it a pleasure to read.

I have three suggestions:

1. D5 is an unusual choice for a physical game: while it can be simulated by halving a d10, reading “d5” feels unintuitive at the table. You might consider reworking the table to reduce the number horizontal space, which could let you gain an extra line.

2. Box positioning and print readability. I know aligning boxes can be tedious, but if you intend this to be printed, having them follow the page folds could significantly improve readability and reduce reading mistakes.

3. Therare many NPCs, and some of them (such as Doc Vost or Apex) don’t seem essential to the plot. Vost is foreshadowing but lacks a clear way to move the story forward. With Apex, it’s unclear whether she is meant to help the players or work for Catur, making her difficult to use. You might consider centering the mission around a specific focus (infiltration, combat, stealth...), which would allow you to streamline the cast and use the freed space to deepen only what’s truly necessary.

Overall, an interesting and promising plot. Just my two cents.