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A jam submission

electric gymView project page

Submitted by tulipifera — 3 days, 20 hours before the deadline
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electric gym's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Imitation of Style#243.4173.417
Enjoyment#302.5832.583
Mixing Quality#302.6672.667
Composition#302.6672.667
Overall#302.8332.833

Ranked from 12 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

Description
Battle at a electric gym.

Streaming Field
None

Are you accepting constructive criticism?

Yes

Accepting constructive criticism

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Comments

Submitted

It does give a pokémon battle vibe, especially the intro, and has a good sense of energy. There is a lot of dissonance between the melody, bass, and chords, in my opinion it's a bit too disorienting for a battle theme versus a more heinous place like Silph Co. The bass in particular seems like it's transitioning on its own terms instead of lining up with the phrasing in the melody.

Submitted

It does give a pokémon battle vibe, especially the intro, and has a good sense of energy. There is a lot of dissonance between the melody, bass, and chords, in my opinion it's a bit too disorienting for a battle theme versus a more heinous place like Silph Co. The bass in particular seems like it's transitioning on its own terms instead of lining up with the phrasing in the melody.

Submitted

It definitely made me think of a Pokemon battle! It might be good to experiment with landing on some more consonant harmony occasionally - for me it's lacking a 'release' from the building tension - it might benefit from a couple more moments where the bass and melody are working together rather than against each other. For instance, they could start in the same key, melody could divert, then come back to the original key. This might help to make the otherwise engagingly competing ideas work together, although solutions I've seen suggested by others would also work great imo. I liked the sounds you used, it definitely felt reminiscent of early game music.

Submitted

You have a lot of good ideas here that don't quite work together. The melody, chords, and bass would all be great developed in their own separate pieces. I do absolutely get an electric vibe from it though, especially the melody synth!

Submitted

Without the title being Electric Gym I would have definitely guessed it was exactly that, so nice job on that! The sounds you used got my ears buzzing haha. I would say to improve this piece I would have a few breaks from the ostinato. It might be cool if there was a moment where your ostinato stopped on one of your chords, hit when your chords do, and then goes back into it. Something where the listener can have a different texture for a moment. Nice job, super unique!

Submitted

I like the chords and the melody here a lot, and I feel for this kind of chiptune the drums are driving and well done. I did notice that the bass seems to be pulling everything in a different direction, though. With the intro it felt like the song was going to be in a minor key which might be a little more fitting for a tense gym battle. The melody and chords on top of the ostinato seem to be in a major key and sound happy while the bass is trying to be minor and tense, so it's hard to pin down what your intention was. Keeping the ostinato the same can be effective but I would try to nail down what key you want to be in and you can find chords that would fit the bass part without it being too crunchy.

Submitted

I really like the chord choices here and the crunch between them and the bass. I think the bass ostinato isn't needed at the forefront for the effect to be heard, so maybe lower the volume to allow the chords and (especially) melody to be heard clearer (maybe also lower the drums a hair). Other than that and maybe some panning to help widen it, it's really solid! 

I like your melody/chords and bass separately, but I don't think they work together well. The melody/chords is give of uplifting and energetic, and the bass is foreboding is dark. I would pick one of these emotions and rework the part that doesn't conform to it to really create a more distinguished track. Correct me if I'm wrong, but is this made in BeepBox? I'm not sure how dynamics work in that DAW but I would make the melody and chords more prominent in the mix than the bass and drums are, they kind of take over. But this is quite enjoyable, I'd like to hear a revision if you're up to it.

Submitted

Intro was promising, but the drop was really junky. Too much dissonance, you should stick to a key because otherwise it’s not very pleasant to listen to. I wish it was longer as well. The master is fine, but the mixing can get a few touches here and there. I assume this is a gen 1 song, so I am not going to add that there’s not much going on in terms of varying instruments. Try again, I see the vision. :-)