Play short story
Radio Zipline's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Entertainment value | #1 | 4.000 | 4.000 |
| Overall | #4 | 3.800 | 3.800 |
| Artistic merit | #5 | 3.600 | 3.600 |
Ranked from 5 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Word count1915
Blurb
A short story about music, radio shows, and getting mad at your roommate.
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Comments
This was really well written! It felt so polished - you're really good at world building, story pacing and character building and relationships, and the morale behind it rounded it off very well :D
I enjoyed reading it a lot!
Thank you so much!! I'm really glad you enjoyed reading it :)
It was a really good read about burn-out, mistakes and discontent with a nice twist.
Thank you for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it
This was very pleasant to read! The words and descriptions were easy to follow, and I could almost see the apartment and the snowing streets. It very nicely fits the melancholic vibes (at least, that is what I was feeling. Maybe bittersweet is a better word for it?) in the middle of the story, with the cozy, heartwarming feelings by the end of it. I felt the transition from the conflict to conflict resolution was a bit abrupt, but that is perhaps because of the word limit, or just my personal preference for reading the inner monologues lol.
Overall, I think you are really talented and I really enjoyed reading the story! Would love to read more of your works!
Thank you, this is a very kind comment! Coming back to this story after a couple of weeks, I agree that the transition to the conflict resolution is quite abrupt, thank you for pointing that out :)
This is amazingly crafted.
The only thing I could criticise is that one scene, where Hazel actively pollutes the environment. Your protagonists shouldn't do such stuff, because people could learn from it. And after that, you introduce the outer world, where places & people get mentioned that really add absolutely nothing to the story. All that really matters is the snow, I guess.
Besides from that, this feels like a masterpiece to me.
It's kinda cozy, but not in a boring way. Gives me studio-ghibli-background-image-music-video-vibes. It shows an everyday scenario, which most of us can relate to. broken dreams, bad coping. I especially like all the small details you added to describe characters & their relation via the surroundings. the laptop-password, or which books lie around, how the room carries the combined style of a beautiful relationship. The characters, their actions & reactions felt incredible realistic.
I liked all the little references to nostalgic stuff.
Your building of a world, atmosphere, metaphors, characters, their relations & actions/reactions, handling of reader-emotions & your sense for dramaturgy are crazy impressive.
Thank you! I really appreciate the detailed feedback :) I was going for an emphasis on realistic relationships in an everyday/relatable scenario, so I'm glad that carried across. Thanks for reading!