This is awesome, the tone of your live recordings is super solid. I really enjoyed this listen. I like ur style. I will say though I thought the bitcrush got a bit extreme. The lyrics are kind of hidden thus its hard to relate it back to the theme, which besides the theme of the jam, is a stylistic choice I rather enjoy. Good song, man

Doing vocals but burrying them super deep in the mix was certainly an odd choice and stylistically doesn't really work for me. The track is nice though, just a lot of odd choices made with the mixing.

I didn’t expect a vocal track or this style for the theme, but it works really well in a good way. It’s really enjoyable and has this floating feel that makes me want to dance all night. It feels really original and really pleasant overall :) 

when judging jam submissions, i'm usually wary about tracks that seem like they're just 'what the person would've made no matter what the theme was'. but this track didn't strike me that way, because i kinda love how it approaches the theme almost sideways, reframing a legendary weapon - something usually depicted as heroic or triumphant - as this sad burden, inextricable with self-harm, that brings pain to the wielder in exchange for something abstract and intangible as a beautiful thought. something about that really resonates, i feel.

others have already pointed out the vocals being tough to pick out in the mix, but i respect you putting them in when you could've just let the more confident guitar line carry the melody instead. were the mixing cleaned up, i'd love to hear a track like this as part of a concept album!

I agree with Kurkku that the vocals are not bad at all! They just get a bit buried with the guitars, you should have more confidence on them and mix them more in the front since they're really nice.

Good work!

I love the vibe! I don't think the vocals are bad at all, you used your voice very well for the needs of the track. Overall, I think the track is maybe a bit long without a clear hook. I'll try to break down my thoughts:

Melody Clarity 4/5

I have no problem picking out the melody here, the vocals don't necessarily cut through but it fits the vibe of the track. At least I think I understand what kind of a feel you were going for here.

Melody Impact 3/5

The melody is good, but for a five minute track I feel like it never really hits as hard as it could. It's kind of missing a hook, that one impactful part that really sticks with you.

Composition 3/5

This relates to the earlier point. The track is quite long, but doesn't necessarily justify it's length. The feel of the track stays very similar throughout, it could benefit from some contrast or a surprise?

Listenability 4/5

I have no problem listening to music like this! As I said, I like the vibe and would listen to this kind of music anyway.

Correlation to Theme 2/5

Just listening to the track out of context, I do not hear the correlation to either the painting or the overall theme of a legendary weapon. With the lyrics and your description it's a bit better though, but I still don't fully hear it.

I think you have a lot of skill for music like this! The main thing I'm missing is more.. dynamics? I guess. Some variety in the track, where it's sometimes more full, sometimes empty, sometimes quiet, sometimes loud. More clarity between different sections. You already had some ideas like that with the track rising in intensity towards the end, that was well done!

Keep up the good work! Hope you release your EP one day.

Very interesting mix.. Vocals sound strange, but then again, I usually just listen to Instrumental music...

definitely agree with Semaj about the lack of a powerful melody, although I actually quite like this as an indie tune - got some lovely guitar sounds going on, and your voice definitely works for that kinda vibe. the lyrics being slightly obscured does make it a little harder to follow the narrative from a theme point of view. definitely did not expect to see this kind of contemporary interpretation in the jam though, love it.

I think the instrumental sounds great! And the overall composition was done well, it's hard to grasp a specific melody aside from the voice. If that was the intention, then that's fine, but I find that the voice is very muffled and lost within the noise of the main beat. I can't really understand much of the lyrics being said. I would recommend making it a focus for your next tracks to bring the vocals forward and prioritise giving them space to shine through the actual beat, if that makes sense. Only one more gripe, I feel like the subtle bitcrush that goes throughout the whole song (or whatever that slight buzzing noise is) really kinda muddies up the track a bit. and fills out all the empty space, making the separate instruments less clear.

Besides that, I really enjoyed the vibes of this; overall, the mixing, instruments and composition were really well done. Cover art goes hard, reminds me of Sisyphus Prime from Ultrakill haha, good job boss! :]