Play book
The First Extraction - OPR Writing Jam #14's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Flow & Clarity | #5 | 3.905 | 3.905 |
| Overall | #17 | 3.571 | 3.571 |
| Concepts & Originality | #23 | 3.714 | 3.714 |
| Adherence to Theme | #36 | 3.095 | 3.095 |
Ranked from 21 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Hey, I'm going to narrate some of the entries from this jam and put them on YouTube, would it be alright if I did yours? I'd credit you of course.
Hello, thank you for participating in the Writing Jam #14! Please email customers@onepagerules.com, to claim your participation minis!
Powerful atmosphere in this one carried by some fantastic descriptions. Pretty bold to take on a possible Ratmen origins but I think you make it work really well. Amazing work!
Thank you. I appreciate you reading the story and your feedback is also appreciated. I hope to write more Ratmen content in future jams.
Throughout the many Jams I’ve participated in, I’ve seen several attempts at making origins for the Ratmen.
This was definitely up amongst the best. Had some lines that ring with iconic energy:
“You asked what separates beasts from men. We learned the answer from you.”
Chef’s kiss. 🤌
Thank you for the feedback. I am really glad you enjoyed the story about the Ratmen :)
I really enjoyed your story, thank you for posting it!
Thank you for your kind words <3
Yes-yes, foolish cruel man-thing! I enjoyed that very much. Perhaps a little weak on the theme but such a great take on Ratmen lore! I look forward to reading more of your work in jams to come ;)
Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed the story, I am grateful for the feedback and kind words.
Really strong atmosphere throughout the entire story. I especially liked how the Ratmen were portrayed—not just as monsters, but as victims shaped by cruelty and experimentation. R-Prime was genuinely unsettling, and the final reveal about the “extraction” gave the ending a lot of impact. Very fitting grimdark sci-fi.
Thank you four such great feedback. I’m really glad you enjoyed this story about my favorite army. I really don’t think people get to see the range of how the Ratmen Clans can be in the lore. I’m thankful I had the chance to tell the story how I see them.