Play book
Perspective's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Flow & Clarity | #11 | 3.805 | 4.000 |
| Concepts & Originality | #12 | 3.905 | 4.105 |
| Overall | #13 | 3.621 | 3.807 |
| Adherence to Theme | #33 | 3.154 | 3.316 |
Ranked from 19 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
Hello, thank you for participating in the Writing Jam #14! Please email customers@onepagerules.com, to claim your participation minis!
Definitely feels like the beginning of a longer story, which has been a little bit of a trend (don't worry, I ran into the same issue hahaha). Also, a clever play on the impossible with the classic "rat in the maze" plot. There's something very relaxing about the story overall, very chill, which I appreciate. Great work!
Thanks! Its definitely more of a intro than a complete story but I'm glad the lead in is interesting at least!
I slipped in a few more "science" names as well as the maze. I liked the idea of them pulling from their past but in a positive way.
There are a few minor edits for grammar that could be made, and the dialogue crunch has been happening to a lot of people with the one page limit, but other than that this is an interesting look at how divergent rat culture becomes even if it only focuses on one specific clan. There is a feeling of being on the edge of a paradigm shift, and I'm curious what's on the other side.
Yeah trimming it down was difficult. The 3 columns on a page made a big difference in structure and flow.
Happy you found my take interesting, I wanted to provide links back to their origins while giving them more identity than "escapees"
I had Rats of NIMH vibes here, very nice.
Both that and Redwall were inspirations for the vibes
The story has such a clean, gentle wisdom to it. I love how The Maze turns the theme of “impossible” into something thoughtful rather than grim.
Really enjoyed reading this!!
Good Job!
Thanks for the kind words, this was my entry into something like this.
Glad people liked it
What a great vision for Rat culture! And a clever little puzzle at the end even if there wasn't a lot of suspense for the solution. Great work!
Thanks! OPR has some great jumping off points for the Rats wanted to take them in a less dark direction.
this reads very cleanly. calm and measured in a way i appreciated. enjoyed the gentleness of this one. lovely work
Thanks jhontor, I enjoyed your story as well.
A very enjoyable read, with a clear point and no wasted words.
9/10 reading experience, could have used one last read through to make it perfect
- example error: "Constant blinked, it was never concept she had considered."
Totally fair! Thanks for the read!