I loved the overall story, the font is particularly great. The penguin of doom is no foe of mine, so I loved all the characters. Root was the one that seemed off, but ONLY at the end; they kept on being formal for the whole novel.

The dialogue is good, but it isn't right. For it to be set in an MMO, the characters talking as they do doesn't link up with what is actually real, even for people that are close to one another (you could even call them friends). It is not so verbose as you have written it even half the time. 

This sort of space still exists today, and it might look closer to what you've done with the writing; but for something like this... it just isn't... like this.

Presentation's great, and the sprites are on point with the era.

The ERP made me cry laughing. I had to get up. I couldn't see anything for a time. It was awesome.

Overall, this was a nice read!

This was a very cute and sweet story. It’s about a group of friends who are basically only friends due to this online game they play. The game is set in 2011, so it has a very nostalgic vibe, what with Mira’s style of talking and the Morenatsu fanfiction. BTW, I must say, Homecoming: Morenatsu Revisited slander in a May Wolf entry was not on my Bingo 2026 card (Then again I didn’t finish it so…). Anyways, the VN reminds me of Close and Distant from last year’s jam, with the whole queer friends navigating an early 2010s internet. It’s a bittersweet feeling, as things at least felt simpler back then. Things weren’t perfect, but there was a lot to be enjoyed back then, and now it’s long past over. There’s even more bittersweetness to the fact that you have this online game that’s slowly dying, and the only reason they even come back to the game is that it’s the thing they decided they’d spend their time doing every time they want to hang out. I like the chemistry between the three main characters; they do feel like real friends, warts and all. I will say, only Mira is interesting on her own. Which is funny, because she fulfills the “annoying female friend of the gay main characters who is overly comfortable ribbing them” trope, but she’s probably one of the better depictions of the archetype, since she’s got an actual character and causes tension with the other two. Root and Hugo are fine but kinda generic, although I did like Root a bit more. The dialogue is funny, with several good jokes in the VN. There were a few bits of dialogue that didn’t seem right with the year. Like Hugo references the “Maybe the real treasure were the friends we made along the way” meme, which didn’t really pop up until at least the last 10s, although it technically existed on 4chan during the game’s time frame. I will give this a pass, though, because it’s a lot harder to understand the differences of talking between now and 15 years ago, compared to the differences between now and the Middle Ages. There’s also a reference to Leo from Echo, but I dismissed that as more of a funny coincidence than anything. The art’s pretty good, with pleasing character designs that look like a mix between Solatorobo and Morenatsu (fitting), as well as colorful backgrounds. The music’s nice as well, fitting the tone of an early 2010s MMORPG. Overall, I really enjoyed this one. If any of this sounds good to you, I’d definitely recommend reading it.

I enjoyed this VN as I read it, mostly due to the fact that I did grow up during this era of the internet and had played an MMO too. I even found the humor sorta funny, and some of the jokes made me laugh. Unfortunately, in a reread and thinking of it more, the pacing towards the last third suffers because the drama between all characters resolved right before they even got 2/3rds of the quest done… so it feels like fluff? I’m glad that the story ended on a happy note.

It also doesn’t help that I’m now thinking of those who probably don’t have the same assumptions of what this story is trying to convey, due to how MMOs are now not so large, and that this brand of internet culture is gone. The narrative does its best to portray this era, but I’m not really a fan that the “im teh penguin of doom rawrxd!!!” typing habits permeated throughout the entire story.

Overall, a grand effort from the dev(s), especially for a project so large!

At times, The Leveret Spirit… doesn’t feel like a particularly serious work. It’s a snapshot of a time from only 15 years ago, but of a very different internet, centering around a very specific sort of online community / friend group that has long since disappeared - and of how, in spite of the supposed lightheartedness of these online relationships (and of the way this work portrays them at first), the emotions behind them are very much real, and things can quickly spiral out of control.

After all, online worlds make it that much easier to hide the real emotions behind the screen - people put on acts and pretend their problems aren’t as serious as they are, and no one can really call them out on it because interpersonal communication is so much more limited over this medium. When dealing with static avatars, subtle expressions and gestures are replaced with a combination of preset moves - emotes, kaomoji, text formatting, and even some silly manipulations of one’s in-game avatar which communities agree mean certain things (while it doesn’t show up in this VN, something that comes to mind is repeated use of crouching/pressing the shift key as either showing friendliness, or as ‘teabagging’ one’s opponents).

Now, the reason I just ranted about this for two paragraphs is because I think it’s this specific form of online interaction and relationship which The Leveret Spirit manages to get across really well - through a mixture of clever presentation tricks and sprite animations, it bring back memories to anyone who’s been there in these types of old online communities - or who’s been even remotely adjacent to them. It’s really good stuff.

I do think the VN does ‘shoot itself in the foot’ at times, so to speak, by swapping between these sorts of rigid game-ified interactions for a far more traditional format - you’ll read a sentence about the MC expressing an emotion via an emote, before the narration suddenly swaps out as though the MC was really experiencing the scene - right down to characters’ subtle gestures and movements which could never really be seen within game. While I understand the desire for more traditional prose and descriptions of character emotions at times, I think it ultimately does a disservice to the game’s ability to capture online interactions and cheapens them somewhat.

It might be tricky to write these sorts of interactions in a compelling manner and to have them make up the bulk of the character actions, but the writing on display here is strong enough that I do think the team has the ability to make it work.

I haven’t talked much about the plot much yet, but I did enjoy it quite a bit - the characters are both realistic and relatable, and by the time the interpersonal drama came along I genuinely wasn’t sure who to side with - it’s one of those situations where no one’s really in the right, and everyone sucks in different regards - but the one thing for sure is that both characters come out of it hurting, which makes for the best type of character drama.

That said, I think the overarching narrative of the secret quest is a bit weaker, specifically because it felt quite a bit less believable than everything else. It’s still solid, and I like the idea of the rogue dev keeping it in in spite of it being controversial, but it all feels a bit arbitrary, and as though it’d have been discovered only a few weeks after the game released, rather than only a few months before its shutdown. That said, it’s far from a serious problem, and I think the way the story elegantly handles the online relationships involved with all of their nuances more than makes up for it.

Oh and the art is awesome. I forgot to mention it but it’s really really good. Great work!

There are some cool stuff in there, but the whole was a bit awkward. What struck me the most about the writing was how it flipped flopped on whether to describe actions in the MMO as though they happened in real life or as they would in a game. It was quite distracting. The writing overall was a bit uneven, like there was a scene where Hugo suddenly said “man” every sentence (“About how she like, man. Y’know, man. Man…?” like wtf???) Relatedly, the way Mira talked started a bit funny but it made me not care much about the friendship drama in the middle, as she spent so much of the VN looking so obnoxious. Still, it was pretty nice to see them make up. The story of the game’s secret quest was pretty fun to follow. I’m not sure we needed all that epilogue, though.

On the presentation side of things, I am much more positive!^^ The sprites and backgrounds look really nice. The UI works well for the story. And the VN finds multiple occasions to delight us with fun animations. The music works well too. Really my only nitpick is that we spend too much time on a black screen at the beginning. Also, the buttons on the title screen only works when hovering the letters, a bit annoying.

The folklore theme is embodied by the titular Leveret Spirit, whose name I forgot oops! Can’t say how much of the folklore is adapted here. Additionally, the idea of secret stuff in game you can only find about by following weird steps detailed in a forum somewhere is also kind of folklore, in a way.^^

Overall, I enjoyed my read, but it didn’t do too much more for me. Still, good job!

Wow, 2011 was (for the most part) just like that huh. Except the problematic bit about Morenatsu, I feel like most people did not care at the time lol. 

Incredible work. This is a really specific type of piece, so I'm willing to bet it'll really hit with the people it hits with, and it might be a bit hard to parse for the people it doesn't. On one hand I feel like I can remember this type of MMO online group of friends drama 1 to 1 pretty much... though I was a lot younger than 25 during that, lol. I do really like the multi-faceted nature of the conflict, and the way it's resolved. Root is letting their friends down, and Mari is being unfair to them. I mean the "test" is especially bullshit. But I love that part of the resolution is asking yourself "does this really matter in the long run? or is it better to forgive it, and let it go. Do i care more about this friendship, or about being 'right?'" It's just a well put together story that flows well from plot beat to plot beat, with a healthy amount of character development and comedy throughout its runtime. 

I think it's really funny, my only real critique (besides how badly I think you guys ham stringed yourselves with this thumbnail) is that maybe we get a little bit too indulgent at the end. The fourth wall breaks, the anachronisms, etc, I think they all worked really well, and were quite funny. Mira walking in on the ERP is incredibly fucking hilarious, and I think throwing the "chula" in there as another in joke on top of the several other layers of jokes, just kinda pushed it a bit too far. Especially since Hugo has been a relatively cool and caring guy who is doing his best, so the sudden allusion to Leo Alvarez is... a bit of a bad mouth feel lol.

As a side note, not quite a critique, at the beginning of the game we have this sort of... therian/transgender thing going on with Root. I'm unsure if this is just part of their self loathing from depression, or genuine dysphoria, but I would've liked to see that explored a little bit more. 

Still, it's a really small peek into a time and place on the internet that may no longer exist literally, but still very much does spiritually. I think the thing that really sells it the most for me is the presentation. The very simple sprites, combined with eccentric choreography and flashy text gives me that feel of those old MMOs where actual character expression is extremely limited, but the people behind that still find ways to be creative. From the A-D-A-D strafing, to various uses of text size, color, and good ol emoticons. It reminds me of the time before fortnite shared emotes and ffxiv weddings, when the best you could do to show your support for someone across the ether cables was slightly clip your model into theirs. 

'The Leveret Spirit' is a drama/romance story about the friendships and awkward situationships that folks get themselves into, especially in an online environment, where communication can be stilted and people have an ease of overthinking things. This is such a time capsule of the end of the era of the dominance of MMOs back at the start of the 2010s, the way that teenagers that were once able to spend their lives and friendships in this fantasy world, yet growing older and suddenly the endless time and energy isn't there and the game is not what it used to be. When it became so much of your identity, how does one move on from that, can they or should they? Are bonds forged in virtual worlds able to translate to the real world? And if not, why do the problems feel and hurt so real?

The story follows a friend group on the verge of their MMO game shutting down servers. Already max level, the crew only log on to be social and do the last bits of content that they can squeeze out of the game, like hunting rare drop mounts. As one of their last ways to spend time together, they find rumors of a hidden quest, one left unfinished and never fully released. After figuring out the trigger (which was to perform a homoerotic act in front of a statue in a deserted zone, no wonder it was just rumors), they start on this admittedly rough and tongue in cheek quest. During which is when all the drama comes out, when Root and Hugo are getting flirty with each other, and Mira the third friend is feeling like a third wheel. So much drama ensues from self-esteem issues, lack of communication, so much comparisons between who is the better friend, tiptoeing around trying not to hurt each other's feelings (so painfully relatable to folks who forged a lot of online friendships). They eventually have to walk it off and come back willing to be at fault to keep the friendship going, and it does. They finish the quest, and get their reward, of a nice buff and access to a secret hot spring to do RP stuff in. Of course, Root and Hugo eventually confess their feelings for each other, and life goes on.

The presentation is surprisingly high value. While I could talk about the stuff like the menu and the art, the thing that really stood out was the really good utilization of the text as a way to convey emotion and emphasis on certain words and phrases. The way that yellow text was used for in game messages, the highly emoticon style of speaking, the rainbow colors every time the word gay is used. Even in the beginning when it's just white text on a black void, the way the words would position themselves on the screen is just poetry. Plus, all the really good visual novel and video game gags, meant there's always a bit of humor and levity inserted into the scenes. Mira's character jumping off the cliff just to respawn, the dissolving for logging in and out of the game, the fight scenes, and even the ragdoll physics sex scene at the end (my favorite sex scene). Audio was really well done, lots of funny gags and use of ambient noise. The writing gets a pass because of the characters talking through 2010s MMO text boxes where it's okay to misspell words and make non-sequiturs. I think there may have been a few places where certain plot points or emotional beats were getting repetitious, but it didn't detract from the story.

The folklore aspect is interesting, because this is in a way a virtual folklore, the idea of a hidden quest in an MMO, but since it's so out of the way and provided so little reward, folks would only find it for the sake of finding it. Very MMO core, and I think it technically counts, though I guess I wish that a little bit more time was spent establishing the MMO world that the story takes place, as it assumes that the reader knows quite a bit about MMOs and their lingo. Jumping puzzles, grind quests, mount farming, starting areas, lowbies etc. Like, I understood a lot of the references because I too played a lot of WoW in 2010, but to some of the newer gen readers they might appreciate a bit more set up on what was the framework for the MMO. I thought it was a really creative entry, not only writing the story, but also making a somewhat believable fake quest for this fake MMO. Plus, I just love how you know how gay the characters based on how they dress their characters, just full on revealing outfits and nearly naked avatars. I thought it was interesting how we're left to infer a lot about the protagonist's real world appearance, but I think it worked to the effect the story was going for in how he only wanted to be viewed through the lens of the character he could be. I do also think it was super fun to add in all the referential humor, like the 150k Morenatsu fix-it-fic, the chula joke, the 'stare-at-the-camera' moments. It added a lot of levity to what could easily be a real downer of the story.

For a first time crew doing a visual novel, I think you hit it out of the park. I was engaged the whole time, and while I did get a little bit bogged down with some of the spiraling and melodrama in the middle, I thought it reached a satisfying emotional resolution. It's hard for me to find something 'lacking' in this visual novel. I think folks may have pointed out but don't forget to put some effort into your thumbnails and itch page. I think maybe the title of the story also doesn't do a lot to entice the reader into knowing what the story is about. They're a bit subjective, sure, and now I kind of get why it's called that, but also, while that's the name of he quest the characters are doing, it's not actually what the emotional arc of the story is about. What I'm trying to say, if the title is going to be called 'The Leveret Spirit', I would hope to find out what is a 'Leveret' and why it's 'Spirit' is so important. I'd suggest since you did so many custom sprites and backgrounds, to splurge at least for one CG to punctuate a really impactful scene. Otherwise, this is just a solid and really good project you made, I look forward to you guys tackling on more ambitious projects and trying out new things.

This was a much more delightful package than I had expected it to be. I think it really does excel at all fronts honestly. At first, I was already impressed by the writing and the depiction of the MMORPG, including all of the little quirks associated with MMORPG life. The characters immediately stand out as being particularly quirky, and I actually felt connected to Root even though his depression wasn't exactly anything new or unexpected from a FVN protagonist. I guess the writing just made it feel more real. But then it suddenly then got pretty serious in the middle of the quest, and goddamn. Being a terminally online loser myself (:p), I feel like I understand what online drama is like pretty well, at least compared to offline drama. I'd just never seen it depicted in such a scarily accurate way. I was almost ready to hate on Mira for gaslighting Root and even bringing Hugo into it. I didn't mind her typing quirks at all, at first, but she was kind of getting on my nerves a little bit with her immaturity. But again it's such a realistic depiction of emotions spiraling a bit out of control from socially awkward people. Of course, they did resolve their issues, and in a mature way at that, where they understood that everyone had their own flaws to work through. Anyways, the rest of the VN just got more and more charming, and I definitely liked Mira a lot more than I had. And Root and Hugo, of course. Their sprites are cute, and especially their movements. The backgrounds are pretty good as well, though truthfully I would have liked to see a bit more variety. The ending was also more funny and satisfying than I expected. I think this VN's cleverness really has to be applauded, since I do think it might be one of the unexpected standouts in this jam. After all, like it says in the end, this really was our Leveret Spirit all along.

It was a heartwarming story, it felt so true and natural: the MMO environment mixed with the real life problems the characters have!

The dialogues and animations were funny too!

Please change the thumbnail, it feels unfinished and doesn’t represent how awesome the vn really is! I bet more people gonna read!