This one's a very unique VN. It's another May Wolf entry that's kinda abstract and kinda not. The protagonist is an enigma, with not much being known about him. This extends to his dialogue not even having a name tag, which was a bit annoying. Some prose structures, like the list structure that was already mentioned before, are repeated several times. It's a bit rough to read, though not unbearable. On the flip side, I quite liked the metaphor of unfinished stories and how the concept of a story is used in the VN. The UI also looks nice. It's simple yet effective. I like the message the VN gives. Overall, this was an interesting VN at the very least, even if it didn't quite hit that sweet spot for me. Would recommend if you like VNs that explore unique concepts.

This one is a bit weird. First of all, that D&D session is very different from other ways I’ve seen them depicted. Not necessarily bad, but it was more like a therapy session for the MC. The MC feels so outside of all this, with the narration and his speech not directly separated. Also despite being in his head, we’re just as much in the dark regarding his situation as the characters. And it doesn’t feel as deliberate.

The writing is a bit repetitive: several structures are reused multiple times. “Not A, not B, it’s C”, “In folklore, bla bla bla”, Sable telling no then saying what they should do… It would almost be funny if the atmosphere wasn’t so serious. By the way, Nico was a breath of fresh air. It’s a bit weird to say, but this kind of goes too far in the folklore. The characters constantly talk about it, how it works, how to survive it etc. It feels oversaturated.

The UI is really great! Looks clean and appropriate. The backgrounds are fine and the sprites are used competently. The music and audio was pretty good too.

Overall, I do have a lot of complaints, but there are some interesting stuff. The stuff about unfinished stories is cool. Didn’t quite get me, but it is fine work.

There is no kind way of saying this, but I'm 99.99% sure this was AI-assisted writing and I'm rating it as such. This was horrible to sit through.

There's a distinct sort of writing style to this one that struck me as... ponderous. It's hard to elaborate, as it usually is when it comes to tone or writing style, but if I were to describe this review in the same style as the VN, it would go something like "This review is mine. One that I wrote with my own hands. Not anybody else's, not borrowed from any ideas. Not books. Not websites. No. It's only mine. Nobody else's." There's a lot of unnecessary sentence fragments and negations used to describe basic things, and frankly I think the story really gets drowned in it. I wanted to focus on what was happening but I just couldn't get past the constant staccato. It genuinely irritated me to the point where I started skipping parts of the story. At least there were... attempts at metaphors that I liked sometimes. I can understand that the story is about the MC coming back after a long absence, and how the others feel about that. I just really wish it was told in a more straightforward manner. I can respect the ambition, and I think this style of writing can really work for certain scenes, but it definitely felt overused throughout the entire VN. The story was passable, and I especially liked that the folklore theme was so heavily integrated into the campaign. The presentation was fine, using the default sprites to good effect. The UI is without a doubt the best part, loved the menus. It's a good showing for a first project, even if it rubbed me the wrong way personally.

Alright, I'm going to be a bit more critical than most of the other reviews here, but before I get into it I just want to make clear that while this entry didn't really land for me, it's nothing personal and getting any completed jam submission, especially your first, is a huge accomplishment that you should be proud of. With that said, I'm going to go ahead and break it down.

Implementation of Theme:

Yeah, it's there, and you definitely attempt to call attention to it by specifically referencing the word "folklore" several times in the script. My only issue here is that while yes, there is in-universe folklore about Rook and maybe some of the other monsters and phenomena in the game universe, on a meta level that "folklore" was only created by Alden to be a thinly veiled metaphor for the MC's absence from the group. I'm good with artificial folklore, including within the scope of a game universe, but this feels less integral to the universe and more just like a plot device, both in the party's campaign and in the VN itself. I think it still counts, so I'm giving you credit for it, but I think the theme was more deftly handled in some of the other entries I've read so far.

The line "[A story] becomes dangerous when people remember only the frightening parts" goes pretty hard though.

Writing:

Alright, let me preface this section by stating that I'm not accusing you of anything, I'm just making an observation and recounting my reaction when reading the VN. When I read the sentence "The house smells like rain on wool, old paper, and something cinnamon-sweet cooling in the kitchen." my heart sank a bit because that structure (e.g., smells like [x], [y], and something [z]), especially with the fixation on scent where it doesn't really need to be there, is something I've seen very often in AI-generated prose. The negation structure that Pink pointed out in their comment (e.g., Not [x]. Not [y]. Just [z]) is similarly common, as is a general over-reliance on metaphor. I'm giving the benefit of the doubt here, but I'm also flagging this as something to watch out for as you refine your style.

With that said, as others like Pink and Cardigan mentioned, AI scares notwithstanding, excessive similes/metaphors and repeated syntax is something you want to avoid since it can get pretty tedious to read. Figures of speech and unique syntax can be very effective, but the more often you use them, the faster the effect wears off. It's not only okay, but advisable to space out those flourishes to let the imagery they convey breathe.

Presentation:

Presentation here was pretty solid for the most part. There's no penalty for using the stock assets (that's what they're there for) and I think expressions were handled to the best you could expect using said stock assets. I think the UI and menus also fit the vibe of the VN, and the music generally worked, though I wish there were some sound effects or more variety of tracks within individual scenes. Tracks can continue uninterrupted for sometimes like two full chapters at a time, which can get a bit repetitive.

I think the MC for this story also definitely needs to have a name, even if you have the player enter their own to keep the "blank slate" idea. More than anything else, you need a way to distinguish when the MC is speaking as opposed to just narrating since both cases look exactly the same in the text box. Especially if a reader is rapidly clicking through, which they very likely could be due to the repeated staccato syntax, it can be easy to miss dialogue buried at the end of an internal monologue. 

There were very few proofreading errors, which is great to see, though, just from personal preference, at least for a jam entry I wouldn't mind exchanging some typos for freer flowing prose.

Story/Creativity:

So, I know you were, at least to some extent, going for vagueness in the plot and inciting events to allow for flexibility in your "blank slate" protagonist, but I question how effective this choice is. All the characters here are basically one-note: Bran/Caelan is the brawny and courageous one; Mira/Sable is the snarky (sometimes) and sneaky one; Nico/Quill is the cautious/quippy/nervous one; and Alden is the DM (I really can't think of any other distinguishing personality traits for him besides "nice" and "presumably likes the MC"). The MC themself has no traits, basically at all, other than having friends and not playing D&D for a while for an undisclosed reason (at least initially). 

I read another entry for this jam a few days ago that dealt with very similar themes, like growing disconnected from friends that you played a specific nerdy game with and the uncertainty and insecurity that comes from that. While I had plenty of issues with that story's focus and pacing, the characters were really fleshed out, with developed, unique personalities, and the game world they inhabited was similarly detailed. It felt like that game universe existed outside the immediate plot. The effect of all that was that the story felt real. The characters and their interactions felt real.

By contrast, this story just feels a bit generic to me. Sure, you can graft your own experiences onto the text, but the text should be helping out with at least some of the lift. As it is, I found it difficult to get invested in resolving a conflict that was mostly undefined with characters that were similarly mostly undefined. 

This might also be personal preference, and my own brand of social awkwardness not necessarily aligning with the creator's or the characters', but I'm not sure how I'd feel about my friend creating a whole campaign that revolved around asking me why I stopped hanging out with them. Like... I see what you're going for, but I feel like that would make me pretty unnerved and maybe a bit frustrated that they had to set up a whole event instead of just asking directly. Again, maybe a personal thing there.

Overall, I think there are some really interesting ideas here, but I think they need to be expanded on and filled out to really stick. It's not a bad first effort at all though, and clearly many readers were more receptive than me, so regardless of any feedback you receive I hope you stick with it and keep writing. 

Final score of 2 bags of Flamin' Hot Cheetos out of 24 cans of Mountain Dew Code Red.

Really enjoyed this one, very creative and original. Main point in story just kinda got a little stretched out and dragged on. 
AWESOME work in this VN I know the time limits are short, all together really well thought out and illustrated. 

On the whole, the story does what it sets out to do well - it's a confrontation of sorts, allowing the protagonist to both come to terms with and a chance to explain to their friends why they became absent, under the guise of a tabletop RPG session. It plays around with the barrier of roleplay and reality - here, the roleplay is the stronger force (perhaps as a way to hide, from the protagonist's point of view), with reality bleeding through more and more throughout. I think it's strengthened by all of the endings being variations of taking the first step towards moving forward. We and the characters don't get any big resolutions, or even answers as to what happened prior to the story; maybe it doesn't matter, it's a story still being told.

I do however have some critique about the actual writing. While the prose is good, with poetic ways to describe things that fit the setting, it uses a lot of this structure: negating statement > negating statement > actual statement. The use of repetition and this structure are very sound tools, but in this case there's an overreliance on it which both takes away the impact they'd ordinarily have, and honestly becomes a bit tiresome as they outweigh any other descriptors 10-1 (and as said, the prose is otherwise good!)

The other cast members, besides the main wolf, are on the simple side as they serve as reflections of the different paths the protagonist can take. Bara wolf is facing things head-on, the owl is avoidant, and the glowing wolf... I'm not entirely sure actually; the text tells me she's the sarcastic one but she mostly seems to deal in secrets? Either way, their characterisations work for the goal here. 

The presentation is pulled off well and from my understanding only used CC assets on top of that. The only sprite which kinda stands out is the Bara Wolf, whose style is the most different. Most of the backgrounds do well to sell the fantastical element (the one of the blue-lit forest stood out, it's a good one to start on). The only thing I can think of that could have been done is doing something like translucently flashing the real world when the barrier is breaking down to support the, admittedly very effective, use of the sound of paper being handled - just so it's covered audiovisually.

In summary, an excellent first outing from the creator, only bogged down by a curious writing choice that overstayed its welcome to me!

'The Wolf Beyond the Table' is a drama the explores themes of forgiveness and accountability, at least that's my interpretation of it. It's a story about you (the self-insert reader) who has been absent from a friend group's DnD game night for an unspecified amount of time, finally coming back to join the group for a night of roleplaying and reconnecting. It tries to convey the ability that DnD and roleplaying has as a way to explore difficult topics, as the lines between reality and fantasy blur. 

The main plot seems to revolve around the relationship between the self-insert and the friend group. The main character grappling with their anxiety or self-doubt and the friend group wanting an answer for the lack of communication. Facilitated by the DM wolf crafting a roleplaying scenario where the self-insert can give their response through the vehicle of roleplaying. In a way, this structure gives a lot of control to the reader/self-insert to be able to craft their own protagonist's personality and story through the many menu choices that can be made to give a slightly different ending to this story. But, it does put a lot of responsibility on the reader, and the resulting endings are all fairly generic generalizations about forgiveness, patience, and the reconciling process. There aren't really any specifics to draw from for the self-insert character, which leaves the character interactions with the friend group feeling 'floaty'. The characters are all great and distinct from each other as they hold different attitudes towards the returning friend. The roleplaying scenario is also feels fairly non-descript as a result, with the fantasy story drawing from several common folklore tropes and details that, while giving a very evocative and colorful experience, almost come across as random and disconnected iconography. I feel like the choice to let the reader guide the emotional characterization of the self-insert character didn't leave you with much room to create stronger creative choices when it came to the plot line and the character interactions. In a way, this story is showing the resolution to a plot without knowing what the inciting incident is, and expecting the reader to imagine it for themselves.

As an example, the severity of the initial incident that caused the absence could totally change the flavor of this resolution. If the original incident was something minor and mild, then this story could come across as a melodrama or patronizing, while if it was something severe and intense, the story could come across as tragic but inspiring. And there are so many to choose from that could be an inciting incident: a disagreement that happened in the game, a fight that broke out from personal offenses, a rejection from a confession of love that made the whole table weird? Presenting this information to the reader would give them more of an informed choice when they decide the course of actions to take to reconcile the conflict. The choices do seem to follow the lines of being direct, collaborative, or avoidant, and those lines could still be followed, even with additional context given.

On the presentation, the visual and audio design are really well done. I could see that you picked out a fantasy template for the GUI and it was a very nice aesthetic choice. The extra bits of sound effects to emphasize little moments really help immerse the reader. The sprite work/manipulation was good, lots of expression changes and the extra detail to make the talking character be highlighted was effective. The writing description for the monster was also really good. The prose does a lot of heavy lifting, making sure to really capture all the senses it immerse the reader into this world. It makes sense, because in a way, this story is immersing the player in a story within a story. I will say that for a story about a DnD game with details about dice rolling, not very much of that happens. There are tabletop games that are more story focused and don't have as much dice rolling, so that's just a small thing I'd want to point out when it comes to constructing your plot.

As for the theme of folklore, instead of being about a folklore topic, it utilized folklore as a plot detail. You get the misty forest, the amalgamation monster, a children's song, the mysterious boat man, and stuff like a raven feather and torn book pages, which each could be it's own focus of the entire story. I do think that attempting to come up with a custom folklore tale was one of your stand out creative moments, as it did create a spooky and tense atmosphere. However, as each detail comes up, it's then dropped when the next chapter comes around. I don't hate it, since it conveys a character choice for the DM, who seems to like to just homebrew his own stories and made it specifically for the self-insert to have an opportunity to reconcile without it coming across as another argument. But it does take away from any identity this custom folklore would have.

As a first timer entry, I say this is a solid showing, with effective use of the pre-rendered sprites and use of common-use resources like the GUI, music and backgrounds. It was ambitious to provide three flavors of endings with the personality routes, and to weave a narrative to account for all three to end in a similar manner is fun. It's also pretty good writing to do the 'story within a story' approach and still be able to tell what's what without getting confused about what's happening. That being said, I do think that the choice to have the reader make the personality decisions really did leave the protagonist as a blank slate who never even explains why he is the way he is. It's okay to force circumstances on the self-insert and have the reader still put themselves into the character's shoes and asking them what they would do in that situation.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

With a well-defined emotional core and deliberate presentation, The Wolf Beyond the Table is a solid game jam submission.

The writing here is a fantastic example of the power of metaphor. Players are introduced to a barrage of symbols (the empty chair, names, folklore, etc.), but rather than become overwhelming, they snowball into the foundation and the building blocks of a thoughtful exploration of the VN's themes. The game achieves this by constantly tying back its imagery to the MC's most relevant internal conflict, which makes for a cohesive character study while standing out from its fairly boiler plate setup. It also avoids being too self-centred by granting its supporting cast just enough of their own quirks and voices that they come off as individuals, people who interact with others and play TTRPGs differently.

Sadly, while solid on a macro level, the sentence-to-sentence writing doesn't perform as well in my eyes. Phrasing is often repetitive and a little too abstract at times. This project also goes for wordy and flowery descriptions of places and feelings, which to me bogged down my reading without adding enough to balance this out. My greatest issue, however comes in its overreliance on single clause sentences. These are meant to be impactful bits of writing where readers are absorbed by a single, powerful emotion, action, or metaphor, but in The Wolf Beyond the Table these happen way too frequently. This leads to a loss of their intended impact and—due to the way advancing works in Ren'py—a more cumbersome reading experience.

One place the game's a lot more successful in my view is the presentation. In truth, there's nothing fancy or complex going on, but transitions and blocking are used to support the dramatic weight of each scene and complement actions and feelings therein. 

If it wasn't for that pretty big gripe I have with some of the writing, this would be one of my favourite May Wolves, as the plot really resonated with me and the level of intentionality here I find commendable.

Congrats on your first VN! I enjoy the multiple pathways the game offers, as well as the concept. The presentation is fairly nice too, even with the premade assets. However, the writing feels a bit repetitive and hard to follow at times (the forest scene is especially confusing, though I don’t know if that was the point). Character dialogue feels clunky at times, and it’s hard to grasp where each character stands fully. I also find it’s hard to tell when the protagonist is thinking vs when they are actually speaking. The implementation of the theme, while not bad, feels a bit heavy-handed in some parts with the repeated use of “folklore.”

Still, there’s a lot going right here, too! I enjoyed my reading. Keep it up :)

Hoping for am android version soon! Will definitely read once I get done with my current job!