I thought this submission was a little dangerous, especially in comparison to what you've already wrote. The presentation was great as usual, but the message...

It's very volatile, and I understood what you tried to say with this, but what actually happens in the story... how can I say it doesn't make sense? It feels like all of the werewolves tossed out their fear as they protested (which was already in vain seeing as the police literally drove through a group of werewolves)... why? Why did they do this. Why did they all trust this rando. Oh, because the leader agreed!... for some reason, even with years of knowledge of the persecution of werewolves, and rowdy enough to burn the confederate flag in front of everyone coming out of their homes; truly? I thought Zizi was acting a double agent.

The moon religion was cool, but it could've been expanded more. Honestly, if you leaned into that more as a righteous cause, I think it would've amplified the entire novel, seeing as the first scene starts in a church.

The father/son scenes were the best, even if they didn't involve werewolves too much ...hey, I'm lookin' forward to The Theatre.

Absolute cinema, might possibly be one of my favorites so far. That was a wild ride. I cried omg. That made me feel so much, pain, joy, dread, fear, hope, peace. Truly amazing.

I'll go outright talk about the story first because it is astonishing. The conflict between humans and werewolves, choosing to finally be one else risk becoming a monster, the connections Oliver made, and the tragedy of it all. I don't know if I should've read the trigger warnings because it gave me dread and an expectation that something bad would happen, and something did, and my body was just HURT all around. And I like this feeling, I loved feeling hate over the government and being annoyed that it's something actually happening and could be even worse, I like how being a werewolf is an allegory for the "agenda" of being "Non-Chistian and American" with maybe racism as well? Just an "if you're unlike us, you're filth." It painfully works well. I feel so bad for Luis, he went through so much in his time as a werewolf. I feel bad for Zizi as well, but maybe wish she was more present, but I guess the lack of understanding on how close Zizi was to Luis is part of it. And of course, for Oliver, I can't believe he actually permanently broke his hand like damn, but other than that, the distant tragedy of his mother dying to a werewolf (which I predicted that his mother was a werewolf and his father killed her), then finding out he is a werewolf (which led me to believe possible werewolf genetics), then finding out the tragedies of other werewolves, the graphic display of the disgusting side of humanity, both before and currently, and causing a massive loss all because of his desire for change, which is good, but annoyingly, and unfortunately, painfully, it is but a hope, AND IT HURTS, IT HURTS SO MUCH. But let me just say things like, I like the relationship he had with Luis, it was cute, it was sweet, but my adrenaline from the rush of them being in danger made me a little too tense to enjoy their moment. Like I was a little surprised that THAT was Luis' best sex, even if I consider it being subjective, and he had a lover as well, is it bad that I'm comparing Luis' previous partner to his new one? (Why am I objectifying sex) but speaking of also sex, on the time of the eclipse I was also trying to just sink in the feeling that so many werewolves died and then oh sex time, and oh there was horror oh damn, I still felt odd leading into the sex (but I did enjoy the horror and the sex, it was amazing). AND FINALLY, that ending with his father oh my goodness, he was a werewolf as well, or was a werewolf? Or a previously failed eclipse thing, so he now becomes that monster. Regardless, that was brutal in many ways, emotionally, physically, and especially when that heart was munched on, fucking metal as shit. I guess my one moment of complaint is how come Oliver didn't understand what Luis meant by sinning when they were on that boat scene, like Luis joked earlier about if I recall "Best ways to have gay sex" and is very much open that he's gay and had a boyfriend. Also there was one moment while Oliver was running away from the cops after the riot that had the Human name but said "Stop shooting!" Which I was confused on who said that.

Now the presentation, like I said, absolute cinema, that first transformation sequence, the title cards, the moon changing phases, all those were so amazing along with the UI just fits so well. I like the guitar riff whenever something werewolfy happens with Oliver. And the graphic display of the horror parts, such as the removal of the pinky, the possible appearance of failing to do the eclipse ritual, the completion of Luis' ritual, and the monster that is Randolph, just wow. BUT I have a big complaint, the audio for the gunshots, it may be intentional with showing the intensity of gunfire but it is LOUD, like my earphones are slightly louder afaik, but even if I lower the volume it's still so loud. Also that first sex scene with Luis the music made me think of PvZ for some reason lol.

Just all 5s.

First of all, having a character named “wee-wee” didn’t help me keep serious there.^^ Nevertheless, really good VN as always there. Using werewolves as a marginalized group is nothing new, but it’s still interesting. Although, being at the point where genocide is directly called for makes the story a bit awkward at points. Proposing a protest at that point does seem suicidal and the consequences relay that. (A protest during the day would have been better, I feel… Just my 2 cents).

Besides that, I find the story very engaging. The turmoil of the MC, and his relationships with Luis and his father kept me reading! The writing is quite good too. The folklore theme is pretty discreet though: just werewolves and the way they work, I believe.

The presentation has some really high highs: little animations done with CGs and stuff, punctuated with sound effects. Those moments really grip you. The rest is pretty classic. The sprites are nice, but lots of characters don’t have one, most notably Randolph. The music fits but some becomes a bit grating at times. Also, one of them is very short and has a long silence before looping, losing the energy of the scene quite a bit. The UI looks really nice, and I like it reflecting the form of the MC.

Overall, there are some flaws, but it’s a darn good VN. You always know how to make an impression. Great job!

I think the best word I have for this project as a whole is "frustrating." Like everything I've read from you (and I'm not caught up - I've been telling myself that I'm going to read The Theatre tomorrow for two months now. I will after the jam I promise) I am constantly impressed with your creativity and panache in direction, especially when it comes to gore and visual horror generally, but your writing also consistently lacks nuance with the very heavy sociopolitical issues and character beats you seem to be drawn to. To put it more bluntly than some of the other commenters, this was a hot mess. A very stylish hot mess! But a hot mess nonetheless. 

Let's get into it:

Implementation of Theme:

Yeah, it's there, or close enough, anyway. I'm not sure if werewolves really count as "folklore" within the context of the universe since they're pretty generally accepted as a common occurrence and have been for quite some time, but we also have the whole Moon Spirit thing going on so there are a couple of angles you could go with. Looking at my notes, there's also a thin frame story element where the prologue is alluding to this whole story now being a legend after the "Werewolf Revolution", and to be honest that element is so underbaked that I forgot about it until just now and it seems like it's tacked on just to make doubly sure you hit the theme requirement. I'm giving you points here with the note that I think other entries did handle this category more effectively.

Presentation:

So, sure, there are some issues here and there, like your characters still tending to have a degree of same-face-syndrome, but the audio/visual direction was exceptional here. As I stated at the top, you clearly have a talent for grisly body horror, and this came through in full force, with the CGs being truly effective, limited as they were compared to some of your other projects. Beyond the visuals, there were some really inspired audio choices, like using the guitar stingers instead of cliche horror strings, and while the title sequence was a bit on the cheesy side for me, I really admired the vision to just send it and I thought the technical execution was great. That said, I feel like a lot of those really slick, stylized choices seemed to fall off after the first act, and I feel like they were a victim of jam constraints. Besides the issues with the story itself, which we'll get to, I think this is another great motivator to keep your scope in check - one of the best things about Route 19 was its ability to pack so many punchy visuals into such a concise, contained story, and I think you're losing out a bit on your greatest strength when you get too ambitious with the scale of your project.

Just want to quickly note as well that, par for the course for your projects, this was impeccably proofread, with only a couple typos that I noticed. For a story this long on such a short timeframe that's commendable and I appreciate the attention to detail. 

Story/Writing:

I don't even know where to start with this one. Maybe since I made a point about scale above, let's just begin there.

My general theory towards overt social or political commentary is that while there's nothing wrong with writing about these issues, no one is forcing you to write about them, and if you are going to make the decision to tackle those themes, you need to give them the time, respect, and nuance that they require. This VN tries to hit practically every social malaise of the current era: werewolves are an allegory for homosexuality, but then also maybe the trans experience. But they were also persecuted by the Confederacy and are publicly lynched, so there's racial undertones as well. And on top of that there's a religious conflict between Christianity (taking elements from various Southern evangelical sects as well as LDS, apparently) and the Moon Spirit. And then we also have implied sexual assault, with the female lynching victim... police brutality... conservative attitudes towards general vice (both through the reference to the establishment being "anti-booze" as well as the "War on Werewolves" potentially being reminiscent of the War on Drugs)... mass shootings, and it's all starting to get out of hand. There's a point where this starts to feel less like a coherent narrative and more like a 25,000 word blog rant about everything wrong with society. It's messy, and you're trying to hit so much at once that you don't really have the time to adequately address any of them.

I'll try not to be too repetitive of what others have already said, but the "primary" allegory here, with the gay/trans experience, is a false equivalency, since in the real world, LGBT people are not causing any real harm to the people that discriminate against them, but werewolves here are (when the script wants them to be) legitimately dangerous and actually killing people. There's a sort of chicken/egg issue since it's not really clear where the violence started (the prologue suggests there's like an evil government conspiracy to frame the werewolves, but werewolf prejudice has apparently existed since at least the Civil War, so I don't know how feasible that is), but at least from the casual observer's point of view, people are getting killed by werewolves, and that makes them a real, tangible threat. Like, when Oliver kills Luis' assailant, all the second human sees is a werewolf ripping someone's throat out, and Oliver's actions eventually lead to this person's presumed death as well after their car crashes into the river, and Oliver never really contemplates this.

Everything involving Oliver's alignment with the werewolves is too sudden and too forced. As others have pointed out, there's no choice to begin with as "become a werewolf forever or suffer a horrible fate where the 'normal' werewolves will kill you even if the humans don't" isn't a real choice. Furthermore, there's a litany of problems with the scene where Luis takes Oliver to the lynching site. First, from a worldbuilding perspective, there's no way Andy/Oliver would not know about the frequent lynchings in this very public place, so the scene comes across as contrived and didactic. From a thematic perspective, lines like "The humans held a barbeque where they tried wolf meat" characterize the humans as almost cartoonishly evil, and this, along with Luis' insistence that "humans are filth" and that Oliver essentially must join the werewolves despite his pending "choice", come across as indoctrination and intentional radicalization that isn't markedly different from the religious absolute anti-wolf extremism of the humans, but it's excused because the wolves are the Good Guys in the story.

It's the same kind of issue I pointed out in my comment for Ransom Wilkes - everything is just too black and white. I think there's a much more interesting story here if some plot points are changed. What if there isn't a horrible punishment if you choose not to become a permanent werewolf, and Zizi is making that up to force new wolves onto his side? That would open up so many avenues to explore about how both sides of a conflict can manipulate people, and maybe open up some alternatives where Andy/Oliver gets to truly chose their own path, possibly outside of the two options initially presented to them. This story as it stands just doesn't feel all that interested in giving them that choice. 

Following up again on Oliver's initial killings, the VN seemingly barely puts any weight or consequence on them. There's a brief hint of a nod much later, but we cut straight from running away from a double homicide (even if there's an argument for self-defense) to a cutesy romance and a steamy sex scene. This is a jarring and abrupt tonal shift that doesn't fit the weight of just taking someone else's life, and this is repeated later when the story shifts straight from recovering from the protest massacre to the club orgy and Oliver's personal scene with Luis. 

This leads into one of my biggest issues with the narrative, which is that almost everything about how the protest is handled feels poorly thought out and, at times, frankly insulting. I genuinely cannot believe that this story, in the year of our Moon Spirit 2026, legitimately has the whole werewolf community be successfully called to action by the guy who just got there like two weeks ago giving a speech. Like... are we really expected to believe that no one thought those things before, that no one had said them, and that no one considered organizing? All of that on top of the fact that there was just a broadcast in which the government very transparently indicated that there would be a full werewolf genocide. Like, the logical result of attempting a peaceful protest in full view of people that openly want to slaughter you is everybody getting slaughtered. That's not a bold, courageous plan that Zizi and Luis should be proudly supporting, it's patently and pointlessly suicidal. I think it only remains as peaceful as it does (which is debatable since Zizi did kick the thing off with arson by setting fire to the market [the text implies that the whole hall is on fire, not just the flag]) for any length of time because the script is conflating real world protests that have an expectation of (at least nonlethal) safety with the universe this story actually takes place in.

Luis' ensuing emotional response therefore also feels contrived, as everyone who participated in the protest agreed to it, despite having more werewolf experience than Oliver, and Luis' subsequent almost immediate shift back to horny after Zizi's funeral feels equally contrived. Following the protest massacre, I was already having flashbacks to a certain other jam entry that severely mishandled a mass casualty event by making it more about characters' interpersonal drama and attraction rather than appreciating the severity of the event itself, and then this VN goes ahead and does its own mass shooting five minutes later. This scene almost feels like a direct response to said other VN, but I don't think it has the result it intended.

There is a very deep irony here in that "courageous hero kills the mass shooter" is a common right-wing fantasy that is depicted almost beat for beat here. Oliver, who has no training and no experience, is somehow the only one in a club full of werewolves that decides to fight back, and singlehandedly successfully intercepts and kills the shooter. This is exacerbated here since all the victims have superhuman physical abilities that should have been able to dispatch the aggressor almost immediately. The way the shooting itself focuses much more on shock value with the bloody scenes and killings themselves rather than reflecting on the actual lives lost and the weight of such a tragedy, combined with the whole hero thing honestly made this sequence feel (unintentionally, I must stress) tasteless to me. 

I also agree with the others below that the father was a massive wasted opportunity for thematic nuance. It seems like you were trying for a more nuanced approach than you gave Ransom (the two situations are pretty similar though...) but the ending made all the buildup feel like it was for nothing. Also, to Gatr's point below, I struggle with how Randy's condition even works canonically since he should have been transforming at night, and, if the implication is that Randy killed his wife during his first transformation (which would give him a very interesting perspective on the wolf thing that's never really dissected), that would make him a very late bloomer based on what we know about the process.

There are other minor points I could bring up, like the difficulty of having a conversation on a motorcycle or Oliver being shocked Luis was gay after having the conversation about all types of sex being acceptable with Zizi and Luis (and Luis specifically bringing up gay sex tips), but I think I've gone on for far too long already, so I'll wrap this up.

Creativity:

The vision is there, especially in the style this project is drenched in (maybe more towards the beginning than the end), and I have to give credit for that accordingly. With that said, I think the execution of that vision just requires more focus, intent, and handling mature themes with the requisite maturity they warrant. 

Look, I know there was a lot of feedback above (you want to do a long entry, I'm gonna do a long yap), and a lot of it was critical, but I really think if you got more of a handle on these scope, tone, and nuance issues that you'd be able to create something truly spectacular, and I absolutely want that for you.

'A Werewolf in Charleston' is a political thriller/horror contemporary tale that takes the concept of the werewolf myth and turns it into a political allegory, with some slight morbid pornography for just a pinch of shock value. By virtue of being a very self-proclaimed political commentary tale, there is a lot of explicit and implicit imagery and concepts that this story is dealing with: religion, conditional love from family, political violence, propaganda, LGBTQ+ rights, personal identity, radicalization, cult-like indoctrination, self-harm, and gay sex. There are aspects of this story that I think were handled well and really got right, and other parts that I think were pretty weak in their conceptualization and were put in just to really hammer in more of the political posturing, and some parts that felt were inserted into this just because it's a My Wolf genre of visual novel.

To talk about the story, is to look beyond what is simply presented, because even in the case of what it explicitly states, there's a lot of devil in the details, and when trying to make a political message, delivery of the message kind of matters, or else it just turns into propaganda. To start out, You have Andy, who is the son of a church pastor, and on his 21st birthday, he transforms into a werewolf. In this universe, werewolves are a known thing, except that it's legally okay to kill and lynch them, because of reasons. Anyway, upon Andy's first transformation, he runs away in fear of being killed and lynched, and luckily runs into Luis, another werewolf, who then takes him to 'the Den' where there are a bunch of other werewolves. They give him the low down, and the rules are: 1) You didn't get a choice in being a werewolf. 2) Human during day, werewolf at night, except sometimes werewolf in day because it makes for a good plot point. 3) During the lunar eclipse, you need to swap body fluids with another werewolf to stay a werewolf forever. 4) Is entirely your choice to become a werewolf forever. 5) If you don't turn into a werewolf forever, you instead become a horrid amalgamation of a werewolf monster. 6) It's totally your choice. 7) If you don't become a werewolf forever, you better kill yourself or the werewolves will kill you. 8) Did I mention, it's totally your choice. Anyway, after some more waffling about, where Oliver has a scare of possibly being outed as a werewolf, seeing werewolves be hung in the center plaza, having sex with Luis, a protest march that ends violently and several werewolves and cops dead, and then a club shooting (where Oliver wracks up a body count of 3). Turns out that pastor dad was a werewolf this whole time, but the kind that didn't swap fluids and now he's a horrible amalgamation, of which he tries to kill Oliver/Andy, but then Oliver/Andy just kills him instead and eats his heart. Very Oedipus. And uh, that's it.

Okay, I don't normally do this, but I'm going to write down all my retorts and comments I had about this story, because it's very front and center, I think the story is inviting it, and I need to write this down:

> Oh, good, we're immediately transforming into a werewolf, no need for a bunch of will I/won't I to get to the issue.

> I think that werewolf is metaphor for homosexuality, but then it gets a bit conflated with transgender identity, and then also with just general non-socially accepted taboos like drinking and other taboo vices, so it gets really muddled for me.

> Despite it's intention as taboo, the story werewolves also have a code of ethics, that include consent and making sure that sex is between consenting adults over the age of 21. I just think it's a bit undermining of the message when the vagueness of werewolf parallels suddenly also have a purity angle.

> I notice that this story goes from a critique on Christianity, then suddenly shifting to a completely new religion, except that this one is apparently the true one with the moon goddess. Swapping one religion for another, thus, weakening the message against blind adherence to a religion without proper reflection on the religion itself.

> Awfully convenient that the next lunar eclipse is in a month. I get it's for story purposes, but it's just such a plot convenience that adds on a countdown clock as well as inducing fomo in Oliver, who if it wasn't clear before, is clearly being coerced into being a werewolf fully. (I thought we cared about consent?)

> Just how old is Luis anyway? I gather at minimum 26 since his boyfriend died at least 5 years ago, but this detail is glanced over.

> Don't get me started on the whole "We never tell anyone our human identities." Which is like, totally groomer behavior and the craziest red-flags about an organization that he's forced into. Doesn't even make logical sense, unless they were in-fact, doing some crazy shady stuff.

> Oliver/Andy is very one dimensional. He has no real point of view, aside from just "being a good boy". Can't really articulate any meaningful thoughts, and yet is blamed for like, everything. Even at the end, a lot of his actions are forced by circumstance, so it never feels like he shows any agency.

> Luis is just as bad. For someone who's been in Oliver's shoes, he has very little empathy for him and expects him to have an emotional maturity greater than he ever shows. Talk about avoiding accountability.

> Zizi is pretty terrible as a group leader, for letting Oliver lead the protest, and then straight up murdering a cop. She also is the least helpful and least informed wolf, despite being portrayed as someone who should know better?

> Randolph Crane is like the best character, if only because his views and motivations are very well established, and he is the perfect character for delivering the message of "If you don't create a safe space, how do you expect to be trusted by your children," for parents. That being said, it's still very weird that he just carries a switchblade and expects his son to straight up put a wolf out of it's misery. (I get that it was foreshadowing, doesn't make it feel less like it comes out of nowhere though.) 

> Why is the Moon Goddess a thing? Like, talk about bring in way too many existential questions, undermining the nature of religion being based on belief, and taking away even more of Oliver's agency. Never explained, never justified, just blindly obeyed because I say so.

> I know that the self-mutilation of cutting of the finger is supposed to be shown as like, denying yourself for safety purposes, but also, Andy absolutely did the right thing in that situational moment. His instincts were entirely right about how that company would have immediately just killed him on the spot.

> I know Luis was making a point about how humans kill for sport to paint them as evil, but technically other animals do that too (I'm 'um actually'-ing).

> The chemistry between Oliver and Luis is so forced. Like, it's jarring how quickly those two go from weary/distrustful of each other to having sex on a boat in the middle of a lake. And then even after all the murder, still going to have sex.

> This is apparently the first time that Oliver has seen the werewolf bodies be hung in public, and it's like you'd think that would be on the news or something. Quite a way for Luis to put Oliver in a dangerous situation, and then, have Oliver kill someone to save Luis's life. Masterful plan.

> I just kept writing 'melodrama' over and over in my notes as I was reading. No one has a proper talk, they just talk political points to each other.

> I put a note that the boat sex scene was unintentionally funny with the way Oliver looked down at Luis.

> I have to question the logic of Oliver who saw cars willingly mow down werewolves, as if doing a public protest wasn't about to also result in blatant murder.

> I was surprised that it wasn't a massacre with how many times they've just been shot at for just existing.

> Radicalization of one of Andy's friends who was told the location of the Den, which apparently Randolph knew the whole time? Feels a bit plot-hole-y just to have a club shooting scene for dramatic effect.

> Oliver having a higher body count should really count for a lot more, considering how blasé the rest of the werewolves are.

> Do we ever even meet a werewolf that fully became one? We never even examine how drastically might change someone's life. We really are just going all in on assumptions aren't we?

The presentation of this visual novel is extremely well done. The striking typography, the stylized background shades, even the character designs have all been vastly improved since the last few visual novels that Corvus productions has done. Not that previous entries weren't good, but you can see the steady increase in production quality, from extensive use of sound effects for immersion, and the art is just improving too. I made a joke about the sex scene being unintentionally funny, but as a CG, it was also really hot as the scene went on. Monster design is really good, and I enjoyed even the gore-y bits. Maybe it's cause the style isn't as hyper-realistic, so I can stomach it a bit better. The writing definitely has a point of view, and that view is to go on rants. I do wish there was a bit more introspection done by all the characters, as it feels very surface values despite the werewolf motif supposed to being a metaphor thing. It's weird because I don't disagree with the message the story is trying to portray, but it doesn't plot doesn't really allude to why being a werewolf shouldn't be something to be condemned for. The main message I get is "being a werewolf sucks, being a person sucks, because of other people".  I feel like the point of this story is meant as a warning to loved ones who might push away their loved ones by the way that they don't make them feel safe, yet this isn't the type of story that would reach those people. As a result, it feels propagandist in favor of leaving your family behind and fully embracing a new but unknown culture without question.

The folklore aspect makes sense, can't go wrong with the classic southern gothic horror and a werewolf motif. Maybe a deeper explanation into the moon goddess allegory could've helped it feel like it's own timeless version of the world, but as it is, it feels like a weird amalgamation of many different time periods, yet belonging to none of them. It is a fun interpretation of the werewolf myth, where it's more of a parasitic entity within you that waits patently until your 21st birthday to make you a monster that humans want to kill, but you also get the added benefit of having sex with other hot werewolves. I'm actually surprised how little homophobia was mentioned by the church goers, I guess werewolves are a much easier target to hate. That might've been funny to have homosexuality be accepted and not were-wolfism, but we know that according to the Den, it's all still taboo. I think I've gone on too much of a rant myself.

Anyway, overall this is an excellent presentation by Rhetto, who has clearly found his voice and niche about infusing his outspoken activism into a bunch of classic horror plots. I think in this case, there was a heavy handed amount of political commentary frosting topped on top of this werewolf body-horror/romance cake. If I scrape off a lot of this frosting, I find a cake that I really enjoyed. The whole father/son plot line layer was really relatable and emotional. The wolf romance layer with Oliver and Luis was super hot and I was into it. The graphic body horror layer was also really shocking and grotesque. It's just somehow in combining these cake layers, you've added so much of this political frosting holding it together, I get a mouthful of frosting and barely any cake. (Does this metaphor make sense?) Like, I get what this was going for, but wow do I feel like there needed to be some edits being made here. Honing in on the core theme/message of the story, and whether each element is going to either help reinforce that message, or help develop characters, or help develop the world. Then again, if you weren't trying to be subtle, you definitely achieved it.

Another great Rhettoe entry. The pacing is thrilling and the story is gripping and emotional in every way. It's quite a violent story, both in its gore and its political implications. There's a lot to like here, from the well-constructed werewolf lore to the spot-on pacing using the three-act structure. I do have some gripes with the game, however. First, the MC comes across as particularly unlikable, since he has the "FVN protagonist syndrome", where he's weak, naive, nervous, and a bit of an idiot (especially with those scissors). Basically a walking character flaw amalgam. Not sure what Luis sees in him, in all honesty, so the main relationship never felt solid to me. The other thing is, and not to contradict myself with how flawed Oliver is, Luis blamed Oliver entirely for the protest, which leaves a sour taste in my mouth. It wasn't Oliver's fault that everyone followed him. They had free will. And it's really the cops who deserved all the hate and anger. The story ended up being pretty bleak, which is of course an accurate representation of real life, but I can't say I walked away from this VN feeling happier for it. I guess that's the point, and the grisliness will certainly stick with me. Something I do wish had gotten an answer though was, what the hell happened to Randolph? I had actually liked the character. Neither a cartoonishly evil abusive villain nor a loving father. Just... a real person. Then he became a monster at the end? This doesn't even logically follow the rules established by the story (werewolves are born, not made, and they transform when they come of age, not later). I know Randolph isn't secretly a werewolf because he stayed a human every night that Andy sneaked out. Metaphorically... was Randolph the real monster of the story? No. It's Charleston as a whole, a backwards society that isn't ready to accept werewolves. Ie, humans. And what was with Luis' look of disgust at the very end? Just a confusing ending altogether. So although there's a lot to like about this entry, and the horror segments are impeccably constructed, I can't rightly say this story stuck the landing in every way. Bit of a shame because it was almost the strongest entry I've read so far. Still, I think I enjoyed it enough where it's still among the top, especially in terms of the production value, so well done.

I'll just preface this with that I enjoyed the game - the tension of living as an otherised person in hiding is well done, splitting the perspectives through use of UI was used effectively even moment-to-moment part of the narrative, and music/sound also added to this duality with short riffs interspersed at perfect moments.

My critiques mostly pertain to story, or rather, how the core allegory didn't work out well for me.

The game wears the allegory in its sleeve: a classic Werewolf=Queerness. I think this is at its strongest when Oliver is first grappling with the transformation. Starting out as anti-werewolf to then having those past views parroted by people he used to feel close to is something I'm sure many queer people can relate to. He's also told by other werewolves that it's best to keep it on the down low. Be proud of who you are, but only to the degree where it's safe. However, it's starting to fall apart when the choice gets presented. Oliver can either accept his werewolf form (ie embrace his queernes) or... his head explodes or something. It works as a purely werewolf narrative, but considering it reads more as a queer one, I'm not sure what it means in this context. Further on the head explosion or whatever, this makes what happens to his father almost non-sensical. "My homosexuality killed my wife so I rejected it, and now I hate gay people" is the reading I get out of it.

The latter part of the story mostly pertains to the dichotomy between the werewolf/queer community and society outside it at large as a force of oppression. Which is fine, but the narrative beats feel a bit forced. Oliver gets gay frotting sex once, wants to start a revolution which is agreed upon despite it being a REALLY dumb idea as unlike it is for queers, there's a direct call to genocide on all werewolves, and is then blamed by Luis when it unsurprisingly ends up causing a massacre (again, he agreed to it). Following this, there's the (somehow) least concerning portrayal of the Pulse shooting in a furry visual novel game jam entry. It's of course not a direct parallel, this is a White Man Shooter without the motives of misdirected vengeance of the USA's terror wars against the Islamic world, but it certainly seems to be the event being called on here. Although a shocking turn of events, I do think it kinda works better to have a small amount of perpetrators enacting violence - Men With a Gun, religious/political leaders, and police - within the context of queer allegory as opposed to practically every single human/hetcis person wanting them dead and ready to take the shot. Textually, it paints up a hardline Us or Them worldview, where humans clearly hate werewolves, but we also get lines suggesting the hatred goes both ways. 

(As a side note, while there is a reading that the allegory stretches further than to queerness, I choose to ignore that as 1) I don't think it's actually supported in the text 2) a racial allegory here would be even messier)

Again, despite those points which look more inflated than they really are as I just had expansive thoughts on it, I enjoyed playing the game and getting the body horror I expect from Rhettoe, but also what I'd describe as social horror - wrapped up in a really cool audiovisual package somehow created in one month!

(I had to write this again from memory because the first draft got deleted, hope it ends up sounding coherent)

Around the time that I reached the halfway mark of A Wolf in Charleston, I thought that there could be no way the game was going to conclude anytime soon with so many remaining plotlines to close out, and I ended up being right, with there being about forty-fiveish minutes left of reading. In spite of that, because of what the game is trying to tackle, I felt like it needed a lot more time to properly flesh everything out before the ending. Ambitious, is the word I would use to describe it.

The body horror elements are easily the best part about the game- from the extra wolf finger poking out of Oliver's hand to Luis' entire body going limp with his self ripping straight out of his back during sex- they were nasty in the most perfect way. However, I think the rest of the story could've done with a lot more subtlety, especially when it came to tackling politics and religion. I know the lack of subtlety is the point, and we're often shown horrors inflicted upon werewolves, but because of the 25k word count, the game isn't able to linger on any event for too long before having to move onto the next, and I think this also lead to a lack of perspective and reflection in the narrative. I specifically thought it strange that there didn't seem to be a single person who didn't want to immediately kill werewolves on sight, or decide to argue on their behalf, knowing that- at one point- the werewolves used to be human too, so killing them would be an injustice or immoral. That might be the point, since the game is a town filled with religious zealotry, but it left the narrative feeling too black and white for my taste- werewolves pretty much end up always being good and humans are scum sucking villains or completely indifferent. Honestly, the most gray we get from the narrative's morality, ironically, comes from Oliver's father. To me, it felt like Reverend Crane was the kind of man who was extremely religious and protective over his son, but would've been open to eventually accepting his son as a werewolf (in spite of not being able to accept himself). That might be a complete misread from me, considering the ending fight, but it's hard to say where the monster starts and where Randolph Crane ends, and that was the kind of subtlety I enjoyed.

Admittedly, I will say that I'm not the biggest fan of stories that treat gayness as analogous to monsters, so the game was fighting an uphill battle with me from the start. Knowing that about myself, I can still recognize that the story is expertly written and interesting enough to keep me invested and excited to see where Oliver and Luis' relationship was going to lead.

While I really like Luis, he ended up feeling more like a catalyst to Oliver's realization that he might be gay. He still ended up being a fully fleshed out character with his own wants/needs and opinions on humans, but I felt like he was often moved to the side, because the actual focus of the game's narrative was Oliver's self-discovery- which makes sense, as both a new werewolf and main character. I think I would've just liked to see more of both his past and more of his relationship with Oliver and/or Zizi (but that's also me just being greedy).

I've rambled on enough, so I'm just going to quickly list out some of the things I liked the most.

Like I said, the body horror was absolutely nerve-wracking to witness and read, only highlighted by the incredible art and sound direction. The game's presentation as a whole is some of the best, especially with anything related to Oliver's hands. The music stings used throughout are also a nice treat, really punctuating important moments. A lot the game's focus was put on Oliver's inner turmoil of being a werewolf and hiding that from people, which felt both realistic and gritty; his inner monologues are a particular treat for me. The game was perfectly tense all throughout and kept me on the edge of my seat, especially during any discussion related to mercy-killing, as I had a feeling where the story was going to eventually lead.

Overall, A Werewolf in Charleston is an absolutely enthralling read, mainly held back by a 25k word count. If it wasn't restricted by the Jam's rules, I would've definitely liked to see where the story could've gone and I imagine a lot of my issues with the narrative would've either been explored or non-existent. In the end, I think it's just not a story made for me, and that's okay; I just hope that it gets all the recognition it deserves and more, because like I said, what's here is more than excellent.

A Werewolf in Charleston feels... dense. It's about many things at once - self actualization, religious zealotry, gay love, the inefficacy of peaceful protests in the face of authoritarian rule, and the fact that it would probably be really fucked up if you had a wolf inside your body which desperately wanted out.

Unfortunately, I'd say it does too much at once - and certainly far too much to fit within the jam's 25k word count. The topics covered here are incredibly sensitive, and by the story's own admission, it's not subtle at all about depicting them - by the point you've finished the story, you've seen werewolves undergo a downright staggering amount of hate crimes, with very little breathing room in-between. At best, it manages to portray just how awful these things are, but at worst, it feels like it's using them for shock value more so than to make an actual point. It serves as a constant reminder of just how grim things are for the werewolves - but with every additional dead background character that is glossed over for the sake of moving on to the next shocking scene, every werewolf added to the pile of dead bodies, it feels as though the story cares less and less about just how horrifying it all is, and more about moving on to the next action scene. 

It's not as though the story doesn't address this at all - but what matters is the scale of it all. A scene or two of Oliver grieving the dead and regretting the mistakes that led them there simply does not feel like enough when the scale of these deaths is so large - over the course of the story, Oliver witnesses dozens of werewolves dying in tragedies that are meant to reflect very real events that occurred in America - from both far in the past, and in very recent times, with direct allusions to events such as the Pulse shooting - and when dealing with topics such as this, it is imperative to treat them with the respect they deserve rather than as just minor setpieces in a story. Ironically enough, this winds up making the characters feel downright inhuman - those who survive come off as incredibly callous to what they've seen over the course of the story, and those who die wind up being nothing more than a statistic - just more anonymous werewolves murdered in cold blood by the bigots of the city, rather than people with rich inner lives that deserve to be mourned. 

With all that said, however, I do think that there's a ton to like in this visual novel - the presentation is downright incredible, with the various sound cues and animated visuals that are presented elevating many of the more dramatic scenes by a ton - it's something that's incredibly rare to see in the medium, and which I'll dearly miss when moving on to other works, because it really does make for some incredible scenes.

On the story level, I also think there's a lot of good stuff. Where the story is at its strongest is when it covers the body horror inherent to being a werewolf - the initial scenes of the MC trying to hide his condition under wrap come to mind, with the direction of the visuals and audio coming together to make for something that is truly horrifying - but incredibly engrossing to watch as they unfold (not going to mention the specifics, because I do think it's worth reading the story just to experience these scenes). Growth and change, while positive, are not always clean or pretty - and this story makes it very clear. Lycanthropy is portrayed as a fundamental part of one's being - and one that, if mishandled and not properly accepted, will fester until it explodes into displays of gratuitous violence and body horror, brought forth by one's own inner demons breaking free. It's a metaphor that works very well to display the dangers of bottling up parts of yourself and hiding your true self from the real world, and I also really liked the repeating metaphor of the "mercy-killing" throughout the work and what that eventually culminated in.

Ultimately, I think the problem here is mostly one of scope relative to the jam's constraints - there's the bones for a bunch of very intriguing and compelling stories here, but combining them all into such a short runtime means that the breakneck pacing of it all and the sheer amount of dramatic scenes winds up negatively affecting the writing and storytelling in ways which I don't assume were intentional. Regardless, I do think that there's a lot to enjoy here, and it still manages to be quite the entertaining read all throughout.

The story conveyed very well all those emotions, I feared like if I was a werewolf in your story, my breath was short while reading. I definitely need to read something more chill after that haha, good job!!