Bearer of Sin certainly has good things going for it. The art is gorgeous, and the individual story elements are interesting to read in their melodramatic drama. But yeah, it is clear that the project ran out of time. The back end of the game lacks music and even art, and the writing is so full of mistakes it's hard to ignore. and makes some things difficult to understand. Crucially, to me, is that those individual story elements don't really come together. We have the apparent main plot of finding a cure, which seems to get forgotten for most of the runtime. Solis is a cutie and I found his backstory the most intriguing, but it was honestly hard to follow what was happening during those plot beats. Lillia's focus also felt like it came out of nowhere; the town has an underage brothel I, think? I say think, because she presumably killed her husband(?) in retaliation of marital rape (good!) which I thought happened like a decade ago, but the well reveal suggests it was pretty recent? If there's anything to take away from my feedback it's just to make information flow more clearly to do away with confusions like these.

I'll try to remember to check on this project later though. I think I'd enjoy it a lot more after it has had time to get everything in place. I usually give a normal star rating on top of jam comments, but I don't want to give an unfavorable one on something that's not representative of the project at its best.

Before I get into my criticisms, I do want to make it clear that I’m really, really excited for Engil’s route and the conclusion of this story. A lot of interesting ideas are raised and explored here, but this feels like the type of story where every single route contributes a lot to the overarching narrative - and having only two of three available right now still leaves things somewhat confusing (in particular, with regards to fleshing Engil out).

That said, I think my enjoyment of the story was in spite of its current state, rather than as a result of it. The sprites and CGs are certainly beautiful (I love your style so much honestly everyone looks so so good!!!), but the two available routes kind of fall apart visually as they reach the end, neglecting to even swap out backgrounds or to show multiple characters on-screen at the same time after a certain point.

Proofreading was also quite the issue here - with the later sections of the routes frequently leaving me confused due to key words in sentences being misspelled, and certain repeat occurrences such as characters saying “yea” instead of “yeah” which took me out of the experience. Oddly enough, I felt as though the earlier parts of the story had a run-on-sentence problem, but that faded away after a bit.

With all that said though, with regards to the story itself, I really did enjoy this a lot - the story tackles a lot of very intense subjects, but it feels as though they all wind up returning to the central themes of sin and absolution, on both a personal and a communal scale - which helps bring everything together quite well (and is part of why I’m very excited for Engil’s route - because I want to see how that will evolve on these central themes).

It’s the type of advantage that only route-focused visual novels have - each route having its own central ideas and focuses that still all add up to one central ‘thesis statement’ that it’s making - and I think this visual novel does it very well. That said, I did feel as though the route select choice was a bit… arbitrary? It kind of felt like the story decided to arbitrarily split off at some point, and every character who wasn’t the ‘route character’ kinda disappeared into the aether the moment the route selection choice was made. Engil’s the one exception to that - but his route isn’t available yet.

While not a deal-breaker, that is kind of a shame in my opinion - because I feel as though there is a lot of interesting stuff to be mined from seeing how the route characters interact with one another past the intro of the game - especially once the stakes become more extreme. Solis, Lillia, and Engil all feel very well-realized to me, and as though they would have a lot to talk about once they let down their guard a bit more - which is part of why the disappearance of the other characters after the route selection was a bit disappointing to me.

That said, I did really enjoy what is there - and, like I said, I feel as though Engil’s route is very likely to be the final ‘missing piece’ to this story, so I’m very interested in seeing what it’ll be like!

I hope you're feeling better about your entry after some time has passed, and that you wanna come back and touch it up! Admittedly Solis is so far and away my favorite, so I'm happy as is. Obviously the scope creep of the jam caught up to you, so I want to hold off my full thoughts and feelings, but I can see the outline of what you want to do, and digging through the files I see a lot of the art is finished! ohhhh solis.... ohhhhh kiss him...

There's just a lot I love, despite the problems. the art is SO so good, which I mean I knew it would be, I played your novembuck, but augh I love all 4 of them. I wish we got more of our little lamb, because they are so gorgeous and soft, and I think they contrast great with our disastrous wolves.  Anyway I need to see all of them bouncing on it, great work, PLEASE keep making, and please be proud of just how much you've done, even if it didn't quite make it as far as you wanted in the timeframe! 

Marvelous story 

Great characters

Makes me cry even unfinished

Taste test: Tastes like Dark Souls 2 Crown of Ivory king DLC

'Bearer of Sin' is an adventure drama story that deals with nearly the ultimate list of heavy topics with no easy answers. It presents itself with several questions, "Are all people worthy of forgiveness? When is it okay to take another being's life? Where is the line of morality and ethics when the world is indifferent to such concepts?" It then starts to present several scenarios and characters that test the limits of this priest's understanding of his faith and his purpose as a healer.

To go over the story is to frame it in these scenarios that test Julius's faith and stances on morality. He's sent on a mission to help a village with a curse, the village of wolves has a history/folktale that they were originally savage beasts that then eventually were saved by a white wolf and that wolf's tears then blessed the well of water to help keep everyone healthy. The first test of Julius is the village chief, who has undergone a terrible monstrous transformation by either an illness or a curse. Fearful that there is no known cure, and that it could possibly spread, Julius has to determine if it's the right thing to do to kill the chief to put him out of his agony and to prevent the spread of the illness, or keep him painfully alive in hopes that he can be cured without knowing if it is possible. It's then revealed that Julius's former mentor had killed himself, and he has to grapple with whether or not his mentor should be forgiven for taking his own life. Then in one of the routes, his templar companion Solis, guides Julius to his former home to reveal that he was horribly beaten and disfigured as a child by his father, and whether it was right to forgive his father but not to forgive himself for killing him when he was older. Then in the other route, the flower shop lady wolf, Lillia, (who is also the chieftains daughter) reveals that as a woman, it was her job to groom young girls to prepare them to be used as prostitutes/sex slaves to the men in the village (as that's what the culture considered fine to do), and if it was right for her to kill her drunk fiancé who was about to force himself upon a young girl. Then it turns out that the village shaman, Engil, was purposefully about to spread the curse through the well water because the village was so corrupt allowing all these atrocities to happen and not do anything, that it all needed to be purged and he see to it personally. Engil was stopped, they cleaned the well water, and then there's a small epilogue where Lillia goes to help out with the church, and Solis and Julius have an option to be together. Let's just say, that this plot had big ambitions, and the scope and story seemed to get wildly out of hand.

Let's go to some lighter moments, the UI is really cute, and the sprites and character designs are adorable. Each one is bursting with personality, and each one just helped add to the intensity of the story subject matter. Solis is best boy, such a sub to Julius's dom, and you can tell there's a real intention with their dynamic in the story. Lillia is great as a complex and well rounded woman character, with so many facets to her, and the way her character is revealed is great. Engil comes on a little bit too strong, like, you immediately know he's got something up his non-existent sleeve and is just so smarmy and antagonistic (talk about unsubtle). Gonna say it, and yeah, time limit got to ya, and it shows, with the second half of the VN not fully coded, and a lot of missing editing passes. But, hey, at least you know you just need editing passes to fix the grammar stuff.

The folklore aspect is also a little bit on the lighter end, but it is there, just not as strongly developed or implemented into the story. It seems there might've been something of a pagan vs established religion angle that wasn't fully explored, but I did enjoy the mythology around the village itself. This story is really creative, and I will say, you took a big swing in tackling so many heavy topics all in one VN. The drawback is that there's not really a good discussion to be had, or to let each of the scenarios breathe for the actions or inactions that the characters made. I'd imagine that one of the plans was to give options to the reader for making these hard choices, thus being the 'bearer of sin'. Perhaps the true test of morality is less in picking the 'most correct' option, but to pick an option in the first place and then stick to your convictions. Even so, to have the visual novel then try to land on a 'this is the right choice, here's a good ending', does feel like it starts to lead to so equally difficult writing.

So, nice to see that SpesBringer is back again with a story that deals with intense heavy topics. And even if it is a bit sloppy around the set up and resolution of these scenarios, the fact that it's being tackled so openly and bluntly is commendable for the gumption it takes to do so. You probably bit off more than you could chew, and so time management and scope creep is something to be aware of in future projects. You do have some really good ideas in here though, all three is a bit much for a game jam game, especially one that branches out so early, that the Lillia and Solis story lines almost feel like two different VNs. I would say to keep in mind your narrative structure, that all the elements are helping support the theme of your story. Valiant effort, there's a lot put in here, scope just got away from you. That being said, it's still full of interesting ideas, and just needed more time to cook. Don't take this as a discouragement, I still loved a lot about this.

Solis is by far the best part of this VN. I say this because I really like how unique he is as a character. The "full helmet knight" character is typically stoic and doesn't show emotions easily, but Solis is the opposite, displaying a ton of emotions despite being mute. He's also obviously quite close to the MC since before the story even starts, and it's rather sweet to watch. His sprite is also well drawn, as are the other characters'. Now, the other reason I emphasize that Solis is the best part is because, to be quite honest, the VN is rough around the edges otherwise. I understand that the time constraint was an issue and thus the VN is basically unfinished. But the script is riddled with typos, and there were blank backgrounds for a lot of the game's runtime. The story is also somewhat hard to follow, with the focus being a bit all over the place, and the characters' motives being unclear, particularly Lillia's and Engil's. While I think I understand the gist of the story, the fact of the matter is that it's muddied under all the imperfections. That being said, don't get me wrong. I really do like this story, and Solis definitely leaves a lasting impression on me, especially with his backstory. Lillia's backstory was also good, and the resolution to both stories were satisfying. I just hope that you're able to take all the time you need to polish this into the great VN it could be, because it deserves to be completed. Still, thanks for submitting what you have so far! It's an admirable effort and I liked it.

Alright, let's get something out of the way right off the jump - you are not a failure and neither is this project. Sure, you might not have finished everything that you wanted during the jam, but there's a lot to be proud of from what you did produce. The world is a better place for your and this VN's presence in it, and I will not hear otherwise. Cool? Cool.

Getting more into the meat of the VN, it's clear that this was a massive step up in ambition and scope from your Novembuck, which if I recall correctly was your first attempt, and really, despite some of your concerns, I think you handled it quite well. The story has good bones - this is a really creative and compelling narrative, it just needs polish.

Breaking it down further in-depth:

Implementation of Theme:

Yeah, I think we've covered the ask here, with the incorporation of the legend of Regen and the village/cult that spawned from him. There are definitely parts of that that could be expanded on or more fleshed out (not necessarily pertaining to Regen himself, but The Way and its conflict with other sects is definitely pretty sparse), but we have folklore designed for this universe that shapes the immediate setting for the narrative and provides the basis for the plot, with Engil setting his plan in motion to, at least in his mind, purge the corruption he sees as inherent to the village. 

Presentation/Writing:

I'm not going to spend a lot of time on the critiques for this section because I think you already know what the issues are. Lack of backgrounds, other images, and sounds once we get to the route split, proofreading errors on pretty much every line, some awkward and unclear phrasing, etc. I think a lot of this can be chalked up, as mentioned above, to jam constraints, but I  really can't emphasize enough how much just getting a decent editor on board would take this from good to phenomenal. 

On the brighter side for presentation, like the other aspects of the VN, what's there is really good! The soundscape in the first act feels inspired to me, not relying just on BGM but also incorporating some good ambient effects to sell the scenes. The art and UI look great as well - Solis and Lillia are both extremely huggable and Engil is extremely punchable. It looks like there's supposed to be another "Best Tail Wag" accolade given out for this jam and this entry has to be a frontrunner for that. 

Clearly there are some moments here that could really use some imagery to support the scene (I'm thinking about finding the chief for the first time, the chaos of Engil enacting his plan, or even just setting flowers down by Regen's tree or something) but I also understand that those assets don't make themselves. Until then we can make do with Solis blushing through his helmet.

Story/Creativity:

As mentioned, it's definitely an ambitious idea, but I kinda really loved what you had cooking here. There's a lot to uncover about the world and the characters we meet within it, and I was really impressed with how you divided the narrative so things only really make sense once you've played both Solis' and Lillia's routes. One of the downsides of this structure, however, is that the endings don't entirely make sense without the full context, there will be narratively unsatisfying gaps on whichever route you pick first. For example, I did Solis first, and was utterly confused when the epilogue discussed the village changing under Lillia's leadership, since at the time

1) I didn't know what exactly in the village needed to be changed, since Engil was really the only one painted as a villain in Solis' route, and

2) I had no idea what Lillia's role was supposed to be, as she doesn't appear at all in Solis' route. In fact, judging from the broken shop window and her total absence, I thought she was supposed to be dead (for what it's worth, I also thought Solis was supposed to have been killed in Lillia's route before the epilogue). 

Besides just the lack of context, the endings are definitely the weakest part of the narrative, and since that's mostly due to how rushed and incomplete they feel, I think they may have been victims of the jam timeline as well. There were several moments in each where I felt like I totally lost what was actually supposed to be happening, and, especially in Solis' route, it feels like we just cut to the epilogue without really resolving the immediate danger. It practically cuts mid-scene and then we get something along the lines of "oh and Solis rescued us but then Engil ran away, but we're good otherwise." Like much of the rest of the VN, I think those parts of the story just need more time to cook.

I'm not going to say much on the Engil route since I don't think I was actually supposed to see any of that in this release, but I will say that it did feel a bit messier and far more rushed (especially with Julius' moral shift) than the other two routes. 

There's some worldbuilding stuff that feels a little underbaked here, like I mentioned with The Way above, as well as Julius' abilities as a wonder, which come off a bit more explicitly like a plot device than you may have intended (like, I know that they are a plot device, but they're only triggered at the times when it's most convenient for the plot, if you follow what I'm saying). Otherwise though, this was a really creative piece; I can tell a lot of effort went into shaping the setting and the characters, and I really hope you keep working on this after the jam so you can complete your intended vision for the project (though I also hope that intended vision includes some closure on what happened to my boy Larry). 

Also, just another note here - I don't really condone violence in any form, but I will say that if you have the tremendous fortune to have an adorable chubby wolf wife and you have the utter gall to complain about it, you deserve everything that's coming to you.

Final score of 5 cute wooden figure puppet shows out of 1 secretly assembled praying mantis army.

The story was nice, tho the vn needs more time to cook. You warned us about the missing background/characters in some scenes, but there was a huge bug: Easy fix, but still, I had to dig in your file to fix. I didn’t have the 3rd ending, and the Lillia’ ending branched to Solis’ one, was it on purpose?

The art is incredible, I would hug Solis big pecs all day~