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Lunar Folly's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Writing | #4 | 4.061 | 4.061 |
| Story | #4 | 4.061 | 4.061 |
| Implementation of Theme | #6 | 4.091 | 4.091 |
| Presentation | #7 | 4.394 | 4.394 |
| Creativity | #20 | 3.697 | 3.697 |
Ranked from 33 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
What is the name of your wolf/wolfess/wolves?
Os
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I really liked this one, and for the story it is one of the best entries. Some of the pacing is really slow, especially in the beginning, but it knows what it wants to say. Every character is well written, but as others pointed out, it has some anachronistic tendencies. But... doesn't everyone?
The visual style is very charming, backgrounds and characters alike.
...the pup comment at the end soothed my soul, I always hated that name. I actually jumped out of my chair with joy when I saw it. Good boy > pup.
The theme is plain as day, and constantly reinforced throughout the reading.
Overall, it was a very satisfying read! With Hyrax I had to read it again to really get it, but not this story. Really well done!
okay now go back and put the sex scene in high score hyrax
I'm gonna be real chief, I love the little anochronisms in the dialogue. Specifically "dude" makes me chuckle. It's hard to talk about this one without sounding generic because it's like "damn another banger by chmron, everything is good like you'd expect." It's nothing too twisted or complicated, though I like the little plot twist, it's well foreshadowed. I especially like the inclusion of werewolves and their representation in society. I think it's a pretty natural inclination of queer people to relate to fringe outside monsters, these villainous others. I mean I don't know if Berdie is a lesbian, or aromantic, but both she and Mitch who fall outside these strict roles imposed by their society, which just about as queer as it gets, so it makes sense that they're drawn to these forms of otherness that seem to come with an idealized version of freedom, and power. Even if it comes with costs. I also liked that we point out that Mitch running off into the wilderness would in fact reflect badly on the people he supposedly cares about. I also adore that they don't try and solve the patriarchy in the whole finale, that's a bit much for the game jam scope 😭
My one single critique is that I think abel's sprite looks a bit... strange? It's his eye. You've done side profiles and forward facing profiles both before, so I don't know if it's the sort of humanish wolfish design that leads to the weird look? The humans though all look great, very gruff and robust people that look like they have bad opinions about women and have to sustenance farm for life. And the painterly backgrounds and CGs? It's a lot of work! It may not be my favorite of your work, it's still a homerun and a half! As always I absolutely cannot wait to see what you do next!
As I see it, Lunar Folly succeeds in many ways. Structurally and audiovisually sound, this game offers a surprisingly complete experience for a game jam entry. Still, there were a handful of issues that kept it from being great, in my opinion.
For one, the way the characters speak is a little too modern for a medieval fantasy setting. Most of the time, this aspect is pretty easy to ignore, but a certain point, the MC describes feeling as if he was "hit by a bus," which bothered me greatly.
Other than that, the games suffers from what I see as a pacing issue, which manifested in to main forms for me. Firstly, the story starts at a pretty odd point — not really in media res, but two seconds before something major happens. This left a great deal of the start of the story catching up to the plot, establishing stakes after they were first relevant. The second issue with the pacing happens at the end. There, a proper resolution to the story's external conflicts is sacrificed for the sake of tying up internal conflicts and a sex scene. It doesn't help that, for the former, the solution was having the same conversation twice in a row but with different characters.
That said, the most pervasive issue in this project, as I see it, is a sense of heavy-handedness towards its themes. I think the parallels to real life are solid, but the way the VN presents them often makes characters chatterboxes for the writers. Sometimes, characters seem to just parrot ideas rather than coming off as if they arrived at them naturally.
Nevertheless, Lunar Folly is still a pretty good time. It looks great, the music choices were pretty fitting, and (despite the above) the writing works most of the time.
Thank you for the fantastic review
!This one definitely struggled slightly under the weight of the story's own scale - with Mitch's internal conflict of choosing whether to abandon his humanity or not, the interpersonal conflict of Mitch not acknowledging his own privilege as a man in a patriarchal society, and the external conflict of the weight placed upon Mitch and Birdy by the village are all occurring at once, I knew I couldn't do them all justice within the word limit of the game jam (and the month I had to work on the game) - ultimately I elected to leave the latter conflict as an 'unknown' for the future, rather than halfheartedly including it, given that the main goal of the story was to explore the former two and the callousness inherent to the fantasy of 'leaving it all behind' like Mitch desired.
The heavy-handedness was also something I was tweaking right up until I released the VN - I definitely agree that the story wound up being a bit too explicit about its folklore-related themes (mainly out of an anxiety that people wouldn't pick up on them and would think that it started and ended at werewolves being there). It's something I've definitely got on the mind for the eventual post-jam patch.
Though I will have to nitpick a bit and say that Mitch never described something as being hit by a bus, he just used the term 'throw under the bus' in a sentence, even if I do agree with you on the matter of the language used being too modern as a whole.I quite liked this one. The art's great; I really like the watercolor style. The prose is nice, being to the point while avoiding being beige. I do have a few nitpicks with the writing, in that some of the dialogue can be a bit modern for what's supposed to be a seemingly medieval setting, but it's not a big deal. The scene after you talk to Birdie for the first time is very slow, but I think it's intentionally supposed to be boring to show what Mitch is going through. This one actually made me think a lot about the ideas it presented. It does show the effects war can have on a society, how traditions are selectively being passed down to fit the needs of a society's superstitions, and how small towns can be suffocating to someone who doesn't feel like they fit in for one reason or another. There's an allegory with the werewolf, but it isn't necessarily about being queer, but more generally about being othered by the rest of society. I've seen some people say it could be a metaphor for having AIDS, but I also interpreted it as a metaphor for having a drug addiction, weirdly enough. But it could be many things. It could be about having a different faith, being in a taboo subculture (like being goth or a furry), or being gender non-conforming, and I like that you could interpret the allegory in many different ways. It does do a good job showing what it feels like being othered, trying to escape that, and choosing to accept it instead of trying to hide it. I like the overall message in general. Birdie is great; she reminds me of Yuki from Wolf Children, and she's just a cool character. The werewolf is also pretty great, with a chill personality, a tragic backstory, and can take responsibility. Mitch is a little annoying, and he did come across as acting immature for his age, but he does get better by the end of the VN. Overall, would recommend it if you like werewolves or want a bittersweet low-fantasy story to enjoy.
Well, this is pretty great. I really enjoyed the story, it knows what it wants to say and does it really well. All the scenes are important and the pacing is just right. The characters are interesting and well written (I would have liked getting a bit more from Leda^^). I don’t think I have anything negative to say there. Or anywhere, actually.
This VN has a great visual style. The sprites are are really nice and go very well with all the beautiful backgrounds. Maybe their expressions are a bit too subtle? Anyway, there are some nice CGs as well! The music fit the scenes as well, and was just nice to listen to. A bit weird that the volume is so low by default, but whatever, it’s a setting.^^
As for the folklore theme, the VN is obviously based on werewolves, and the theme is also well explored in the story. Werewolves work differently here than in both irl and in-VN stories, which is pretty fun. The VN also explores how traditions shape people’s lives and the way they can suddenly change in response to what happens in the world, such as wars. Good stuff.
Overall, that’s another of my favourites here. Great job!
Overall, I found this cute and enjoyed reading it.
Implementation of theme:
I concur with armored possum that it might be overcovered on the folklore aspect. What we get is really interesting, but I struggled a bit to keep track of it all as I was going through. The history of the town and werewolves and Ezath all came at me rapid fire, and I wish it had been worked in a bit more slowly. That's because I like it though, and I'm interested in hearing more.
Story/writing/creativity:
I'm lumping all of these together because my thoughts about them all go together. I'm gonna break from everyone else and say that I didn't particularly like the story. It felt to me like it was just everything you'd expect from a werewolf story. It was a well-done version of it, and Abel is cute, but nothing was particularly innovative or interesting. I found Birdie and Leda more compelling than either of the leads.
Presentation:
The art here is really impressive and carries it for me. Abel's sprites are adorable and the way Mitch's body slowly changes in the CG as he transforms is really good. The art style also fits the dark fantasy tone of the story so the plot and art are integrated very cleanly.
Conclusion: Overall, I think this was very well done. As far as writing a werewolf story, it's well-executed and done competently, but it didn't feel particularly novel. That is a matter of taste for me though. I would personally have preferred a different take on werewolves, but for the story you set out to write you did an excellent job.
Alright, so, I read a different May Wolf entry a few days ago that involved a guy currently in a relationship with a girl that experiences some gay temptation, and I was pleasantly surprised when that story ended with the guy choosing the girl instead of the hot gay wolf guy since the latter seems like kind of the default M(a)y Wolf ending.
There are no such surprises here, and this story ended exactly where I thought it would. There are interesting details and bits of worldbuilding along the way, but you basically know what you're getting into just looking at the cover on this one.
"One Last Week" was my personal #1 from last year's May Wolf, and while this one is just a teensy bit more self-indulgent than the other stuff I've read from you, this was still a solid entry. I have thoughts though.
Implementation of Theme:
Yeah, we're certainly covered here. If anything, we might be overly covered here. I think this met the mark already just from werewolves and their relation to Ezath, but then we get even more on top of that with some local legends like one of Mitch's apparent favorites, Damartos, who started feeding the wolves, then hung out with them until he became one. Subtle.
As alluded to, I'm not sure you really needed the extras there, and I wonder why it's there at all unless you thought that werewolves might have been too accepted in-universe to be considered "folklore" and wanted to be doubly sure you met the theme. It's not like you need any additional foreshadowing here; the guy's cuddling a werewolf in the icon. I don't think any of this takes away from the implementation of the theme, and I'm still giving full marks for this category, but I did think that was curious.
Presentation:
I thought the presentation was pretty great here. I was a bit worried at the beginning with the one static background, the one set of character sprites, and the one looping music track, but the visuals, and to a lesser extent, audio, open up as the story progresses. The art style had a storybook-esque vibe that fit well with the setting, and while the music could have been more varied, it was understated enough that it didn't bother me at all. I think there was also a page turning sound effect for changing scenes? I could have been hallucinating that, but if that was there, that's a neat touch.
For a one-man show, the amount of sprites, variations, and CGs was really impressive, and I thought they were high quality, even if humans are absolutely not what I'm here for and I do not and will never understand beards on anthros.
Writing was meticulously proofread as well, with maybe only one or two errors that I caught through the whole VN. Really great work on the polish here.
Story/Writing:
Generally, I thought the plot and prose here were pretty solid, but in the interest of keeping this to a semi-reasonable length, I'm going to jump into a few critiques:
- There's a pretty clear thematic parallel of lycanthropy being analogous to homosexuality, and while this is superficially fine (if a little heavy handed), I'm not sure if the circumstances that led to werewolves being regarded as "against nature" totally work for this analogy. Like, when that kind of language is used for homosexuality, it's a false justification for discrimination that focuses on "otherness" because there's no actual harm to point to, but in this universe, there was a very real war in Ezarth, that (allegedly) involved very real werewolves, that inflicted very real casualties, that caused the survivors to have very real PTSD. It's intentionally vague how much the soldiers encountered werewolves in Ezarth (Thalis' account of his platoon's eradication doesn't account for any prior engagements, any subsequent reassignments to another unit, or the experiences of any other veterans, since he isn't the only one from the village) but the "othering" of werewolves is a bit more complicated if your only exposure to them has been seeing one rip your friend's face off.
I think you try to get into this a little, but there are other points as well, like Mitch lamenting destroying his father's figures because Thalis told him to, that could've used a bit more nuance (yes, it's absolutely tragic that the mementos of Mitch's father are lost, but maybe keeping a bunch of severe PTSD triggers around the house isn't a great idea either. There are probably compromises that could have been taken here, like just hiding the figures.). I feel like I'm not doing a great job of explaining this, but the general point here is just that there could have been more nuance in exploring how legitimate trauma shaped the attitudes of the village in addition to any preconceived notions or misconceptions.
- While I applaud the decision to have Mitch and Abel stay in the village to try to make things work instead of abandoning Birdie and the others, I feel like there's still a bit of hand-waving on this issue so we can hurry up and get to the happy ending. We get the line "But those things will come in due time" but, like, will they? Things seemed pretty dire just with the dowry issue, let alone blowing up the whole engagement. I understand said happy ending, but I'm not sure I'm as optimistic as the leads.
- I typically like seeing branching paths and player input, and the effort is always appreciated, but from the differences in length and content of the two endings I felt like the choice was less about caution vs. trust, or pragmatism vs. optimism, as it was characterized by the options, and more just about whether you got the Big Gay Sex Scene or not.
- Fuze already pointed out the anachronisms that I noted, so I won't reiterate those, but there were some awkwardly verbose lines of dialogue here too. For example, when Mitch first encounters Abel, he has the lines "I suppose so, but it's not like your techniques are all that efficient either!" "I mean, what do you stand to benefit from stacking the wheat up into such a massive pile?" I kind of struggle imagining an actual person saying that, and these could be condensed down to something like "You're over there building a tower of wheat and you're calling ME inefficient?" I know jam constraints don't leave a lot of time for drafting and revising, but just a stylistic thing to consider.
Creativity:
On the positive side for creativity, I think there was a lot of effort here in the attempts at detailed worldbuilding as well as the general aesthetic direction for the project, and overall I'd consider this a highly creative product. With that said,
1) Thematically, "supernatural mutation is a parallel to being gay or otherwise othered" was novel and original when X-Men was doing it 50 years ago, but I feel like this is something I've seen quite a few times at this point, and
2) let's be honest here, man. There were plenty of points in this story where you probably could've cut out the middleman and just named the protagonist "chmron" instead of "Michail". I'm not sure how far outside the box you had to go to come up with the core plot here.
I know there was a lot of feedback above, but I really do think you did an excellent job with this, so please don't take any of that the wrong way.
Final score of 12 bottles of Old Spice Wolfthorn body wash out of 3 uncomfortably realistic lupine fursuits.
To be honest, my intention here was never for Mitch to be seen as a self insert, nor for werewolves to be an allegory for homosexuality - they're a nebulous 'other' in society, maybe, but the goal here isn't to say that werewolves can never be dangerous, nor that they weren't the source of the veterans' lasting trauma (or rather, part of it). It's to explore why it is that marginalized people can find themselves drawn to figures that are considered villainized 'others' by society - whether they be werewolves, witches, or anything else (though the former two are what the story explores with Mitch and Birdie respectively). Werewolves are just another one of these 'others' in the eyes of the village - but they're not inherently good and not inherently bad - just something that exists and which the characters of the story don't really understand.
With regards to the folklore thing, the story of Damartos was both meant as a nod to the original story of the greek Damarchus which much of the in-universe folklore surrounding werewolves was based on, and to show what the in-universe understanding of werewolves is - and how it varies between people with there being no one 'true' version (with Mitch, Leda, and Abel all bringing up different splinters of this same story). At the end of the day, it's just another one of the stories Mitch's father told him in an attempt to pass down a moral of some kind.
Now, ultimately all of this is a matter of my intention - how well these things came across in the story is up to the reader, and I'm well aware of some of the ways in which these could have been improved (the specific callout of Thalis saying werewolves are 'unnatural' is something I didn't intend to be a metaphor for homosexuality, but I certainly can understand how one could get that impression given its similarity to real homophobic remarks). I suppose this is an inherent part of working under jam constraints, and of writing stories in general.
Regardless, I'm glad you enjoyed the story in spite of these issues, and I'm always glad to receive feedback! Honestly, stuff like the lack of sprite poses, the anachronisms and the lackluster "no transformation ending" (which is moreso a matter of me just forgetting to explicitly signpost it as the "no sex" option) is something I'm already interested in changing when the jam rating period ends.
It's kind of wild to me that those aspects weren't intended since they came through so clearly to me, but I apologize for misreading your story (yeah, I know the argument that the text speaks for itself regardless of authorial intent, but I still feel bad when I'm way off the mark from what was intended). I think some of my comments about nuance regarding perception of the "other" still apply, but I love all the additional insight! Also, I wasn't aware of Damarchus at all, so it's definitely been enlightening being educated through this jam on aspects of folklore I'm clearly lacking in.
'Lunar Folly' is a romantic story about trad-thoughts, prejudice, and classic werewolves acting as a plot device and also a metaphor for 'the other' in society. It's good to see a proper 'werewolf' story in this 'my wolf' game jam about folklore. Of course that means that it's a human based story, in order to actually have the transformation part of the werewolf bit make sense. I think what makes this rendition stand out from other werewolf stories the pure indulgence and appreciation of the werewolf form and transformation. Most other stories are going to either downplay that part by making the werewolf this monstruous and unpleasant experience, or going the anime wolf-boy route with some sharp teeth and wolf ears. This one gets right into what makes werewolves appealing, large fuzzy cuddly men with just a hint of danger with those sharp teeth.
The story follows Mitch as he is 'hunting/tracking' the rumors of a werewolf in the forest. He finds one! Turns out that werewolves aren't monsters, they just guys who transform and look like that (course they could also kill, but isn't that true of humans too?). Mitch is conflicted, because his world has opened up, and he's tempted to want to be a werewolf too since society has left him feeling suffocated and trapped in his trad-relationship with his childhood friend (who is also a woman non-conforming to society). As he attempts to run away, turns out that part of that is a lie, and the werewolf is actually one of the villagers who likes to transform in secret and there isn't some kind of roaming free pack of gay werewolf men (oh yeah, Mitch is gay). Of course, his fiancé finds out, and is rightfully upset because she's getting the short end of the stick not just from Mitch, but also the whole village and her family all kinda resent her for not being 'a good house wife who needs to get back in the kitchen'. They make up because, and plan to call off the wedding proper (I don't know if this solves her problem, but at least they'll stop having to put on a front so other folks will be nice to them). Course, free from his husbandry duties, Mitch is free to be who he really is and get transformed into a werewolf for some hot werewolf transformation sex (or not if you're monetizing a live read recording).
Honestly, it's a great story, and I jest in pointing out some of the uncomfortable circumstances, but the extra friction in the story makes the release of tension and pure indulgence all the more satisfying. The art is once again really great, love the stylization, and the humans don't look too bad. Course the cg scenes also get a big thumbs up from me, very hot and something that I don't see all that often. The writing is adequate and gets the right amount of emotion in the dialog to stress certain scenes. I do feel like it can get a tad anachronistic when some words and phrases pop up, examples like being called a 'dude' or 'throw me under the bus', when I'm pretty sure the established setting is some kind of late middle-age period and hasn't reached the industrial period where buses exist. I think there's one moment where a character label wasn't attributed right, but it happened during the sexy scene, so I imagine it's easily overlooked.
I really liked the folklore aspect of this entry. It highlighted the traditions of folklore, but also highlighted some of the negative effects of folklore as well, how they could perpetuate false or harmful stories, establish traditions where the original context has been far removed, or even use it as justification for prejudice types of thinking. I haven't even mentioned all the allusion to a werewolf as a metaphor for being gay and how having to keep it hidden to please your family/society and only letting it come out makes the person feel 'more alive'. It's a new twist on a classic trope for the werewolf story genre, and I think it do anything bright and flashy, it still left an impact with it's strong narrative choices, and grounding the emotional arc in realism. It could've been easy to do a "runs away to start a new life" ending, but having to stay and deal with the problems I think is a more interesting choice, even if we're only left to speculate on how that might play out.
I'm really glad that chmron picked up on a lot of comments from last May Wolf to "let the hot guys have sex". Not that the rest of the visual novel also wasn't a nice experience, with all it's twists and turns, but I mean, c'mon, hot werewolf sex. I really have any notes for how this could be executed any better (aside from a few slight clean ups), I think you achieved what you set out to make. The scope was kept in check, I could easily see this appealing to a nice chunk of the audience. Maybe it feels a bit melodramatic in certain parts, but that's totally works for this kind of story where 'society' is the root cause of your problems. What more can I say, this is good.
This is a great story, fantastical every day real life setting. Great writing, good characters and well done art.
A lovely werewolf story indeed. More feminist than I was expecting too! I have to admit though, it took a bit of time to grow on me. The prose is... somewhat slow. Like, I guess I would have expected more to happen, more thrilling scenes, or whatever. But it's clear it's not that kind of story. What started as a intriguing werewolf plot became more of a quiet introspection on what it means to live in a backwards village and still care for the people in it. This is at the same time as Abel's reveal (which I totally called from the minute I first saw Abel btw). At first, it seemed like the story would be simple. Run away with the hot werewolf and live a wolfy life. But I'm glad it wasn't that, mostly for Birdie's sake. I guess it takes more maturity and inner peace to stay and try to live a double life anyways, just so you can still be close to those you care for. The whole werewolf and witch folklore thing was executed really well here too, as it wasn't just an offhand mention or a retelling, but rather an exploration of what they represent. Werewolves being the "other". Queer men that don't fit into society. And witches representing the idea of female empowerment. Both would seem scary to a backwards society, but none of the characters Mitch meets seem to fear them. Thus, the characters embody this metaphor well. I enjoyed this tale a lot, and I also really liked the visuals. I'm already accustomed to the "crusty" watercolor look from Solstice Eve and it fits this kind of story really well too. Made the town feel real.
Wow, this is quite a catch!
It's truly a masterpiece of art and narrative. It's engaging and captivates the audience. This is precisely the kind of experience I seek. I'm very fond of folklore fantasy.
Your writing is spectacular; the depth and the connection you have to this story is just amazing. This is just immersive; it literally feels like I'm in this world you created, and I just want to stay in it.
I really look forward to your future projects❤️🔥
Like last year submission of yours, I’ll give you all the stars Itch can allow me: this vn is so great!!
It’s chill, cute, and the trio Os Michail Birdie are so well written! Tormented souls suffering so much pressure and pain.
Another masterpiece Chmron, thank you for making it!
Hold up, the entry is this fire??
I’ve only read 4 entries but this is going to definitely stay on my top 5 picks. It does basically everything right, the pacing, the characters, and with a charming art style to boot.
Implementation of Theme: Well, it’s the obvious werewolf stories. But also, through a broader lens, it is the stories that get passed down (folklore) that formed tradition. Why must X thing happen in the story? Because tradition says so. It forms the core character conflict and defines the traits of nearly all characters that were shown. Auntie Leda who just resigns to whatever with her tried and true experience but still understand the thoughts of the villagers, Michail being stuck in a prison that is marriage, and the ridicule in the gaze directed at Birdie leading to the emotional breakdowns shown in the story, as well as what happened afterward. Above all, it shows very clearly how stories passed down might deform a person (and I especially love the ambiguity in the choice of Thalis’ story being he passed out and when he woke up again his platoon is gone, as it doesn’t frame 100% certainty on the “witch”’s fault). Both Michail and “Os” also found themself in similar predicaments, with tradition (or “folklore”) being the centerpiece of it all. And also the very blatant mention of folk lores near the end, yup. No notes, I love it so much.
Story: It is definitely smaller in scope compared to other entries that I’ve read, but the author worked with the scope so beautifully that coming out of the story I can only say that I’m satisfied. Aside from the magical aspects, the plot beats are mundane tasks, as Michail is a hunter of a small village. And exactly with this mundane-ness where Michail felt pressured and caged. It creates an excellent contrast with the sense of freedom being in the forest, and that’s where the magical aspect shines. The magic here served as a way out for Michail, but he tried his best to find a balance to avoid repeating the same mistake “Os” did. The characters in this entry all have a voice of their own, shaped by stories, tradition and circumstances. I can perfectly understand and emphasize the “antagonists” (Thalis mainly, the parents less so), and I’ve come to adore each character with their own quirks and personality. The worldbuilding serves as the background for the plot, with the great war being the reason the werewolf folklore was imparted in the first place. It becomes relevant at just the right time to really highlight the character’s backstories and tug at the reader’s heart strings, and doesn’t overstay its welcome to let the character shine during the peak of their character arc. If there’s one thing I would point out though, I would say the pacing of the first scene (before the wolf) was a bit odd. It’s like what was described was somehow simultaneously the first time Michail is setting traps (with the statement of giving up and not going to the forest at night) and he’s used to setting traps for werewolves at night (literally what it says in the narration). It’s not that big of a deal but it does create a bit of confusion at the beginning.
Presentation: I contemplated taking a star off here as at certain points, two tracks switching between each other became quite monotonous, the sprite variations are a bit less than I’d like, as there are points where I just didn’t notice if the sprite even changes or not. Also there are no changes to the menus. However, who cares about that anyway the VN is the most important. Just the charming style and no unfinished assets alone warrants a full rating in my eyes. Especially since the order and the way the story was presented to the character is immaculate (Pls tell me its intentional that Abel’s nose problem is a setup of him being the werewolf). And did I mention how hot the NSFW scene is like omg YES PLEASE (I don’t have anything else to say here). Oh yeah and in one of the CGs it looked like the tip of his dih was uncolored i think.
Writing: Compared to the other aspects of the entry, this one is a bit less of a highlight. Some sentences are confusing to read, some have awkward comma placements, and some forgot to capitalize at the start. Certain descriptions are also lacking: compared to forest and werewolf scenes that were perfect, the ones in the village felt a bit less so, with a lot of descriptions just being MC’s introspective thought process or character actions (but maybe it’s intentional that MC just doesn’t care to describe it, the story is in first person after all)
Creativity: Werewolves are a dime a dozen, but actively wanting to be furry-ized and live as a fluffy wolfie is new to me. The entry also links the transformation with the conflict of wanting to be free (and idk how common this is in tf stories, but it’s unique in my eyes). In war stories, I always have a soft spot for plots that cover the more mundane, to ignore the grandeur of victory or the fleeting loss but instead focusing on how that result impacted normal civilians. It’s not new either, but in a war story, there are only so many viewpoints to pick, and this is certainly more unique compared to others.
Rating: 5-5-5-4-5
(There’s not a lot of criticizing in the review but I just felt like I needed to gush about what I love in this entry lol)
P.S: I can be Abel’s good pup pls tf me too 😭
Thank you for the wonderful review!
I definitely agree with the critique here - this was my most ambitious jam project (in spite of the small scale, the amount of characters / cgs / backgrounds is far beyond what I've done before, and the watercolor style was also quite tricky to work with) so it definitely suffered slightly in terms of sprite variety as a result, and your points about the writing feeling flat at times / things being a bit unclear in the beginning are definitely something I need to work on.
Regardless, I'm very glad you enjoyed the story! This was (among other things) me trying to break down and further explore the idea of transformation / the appeal it has to me, and I'm glad those aspects were interesting to others as well (even if they are presumably more normal about the subject matter than I am).
it a good visual novel