Sup, folks!

Whew, the last couple of months have been… something else. Been saying that a lot lately.

Not a whole lot has happened, really. The folks at work that have been giving me issues have been dealt with, which was okay I guess, but also kinda meh? I dunno, but one disappeared for over a week and came back a completely different person. That was fucking wild. I decided to slow down on the medical appointments to give myself time to breathe and process a bunch of shit. Purged some old social media accounts (also had to save some old memories from my old crusty punk days though), and that proceeded to send me down a spiral that resulted in what I'm pretty sure was a two week long manic episode, and into a much needed four week medical leave of absence from work so I can work on my head.

I gotta say, Meta is really strict about giving up their precious money-making data, and that corporate greed really made it difficult to do the thing. I'm nothing if not persistent though, and manually picked through and deleted years of my life. Post by post, picture by picture.

As a result of the purge, I've been facing a lot about myself (which was simultaneously self destructive and cleansing); my life, who I was, and who I am today. I once got told by a good friend of mine that Daine was a self-insert, to which, if I was capable of feeling anything at the time, I would have been very offended by the suggestion. Daine's a piece of garbage. After going through that social media account… Well, I guess writers really do write what they know, and I guess I know a little something about being a moody, selfish, nihilistic, chronically depressed, and emotionally crippled 20-something year old chasing the next miniscule hit of serotonin like a crackhead looking for that tiny hit they dropped six hours ago when they were in surplus. 

I have an entire lifetime of deconstruction to go through, and I feel like there's never going to be a day that goes by where I'm not going to be challenged internally. I'm absolutely fine with this though, and it forces me to actually deal with my problems. The ego death is actually fucking insane lmao.

Anywhore. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm feeling much better than I was. I've been playing a bunch of backlogged video games, which has been therapy to me. My house is fucking clean as fuck. Even my fucking laundry is put away (fuck folding it though, who cares what my drawers look like).

Hell, I've even picked up a pencil and doodled a couple doodles while camping, something I haven't done in a minute. You can check out the uncensored Lupe doodle here (I'm hesitant to post it here on account of her tits being big enough to have their own orbits, and I make 𝚒̶𝚗̶𝚌̶𝚛̶𝚎̶𝚍̶𝚒̶𝚋̶𝚕̶𝚢̶ ̶𝚍̶𝚒̶𝚜̶𝚝̶𝚞̶𝚛̶𝚋̶𝚒̶𝚗̶𝚐̶ pornography).

Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is that I think that I'm ready to take on development again. Slowly. At first, at least. While I'm feeling better for now, this stuff is still fresh in my head, I've still a long stretch before I get my HRT (which is gonna be its own whole thing), and I still have other personal things I need to work through.

However, I have a story to tell, and it has never once left my mind. On top of everything else, Detached has been the one imposing thing during all of this. An ugly, and sometimes silly, sometimes wholesome, sometimes cute, sometimes funny, but always fucked up story about a terrible, and terribly broken person living his shitty life born from a time when the abyss had its putrid grasp firmly around my neck.

I have poured my curdled soul into this game while in the depths of my own darkness. I went into Detached wanting to make people feel uncomfortable, to genuinely dislike the character they're being forced to play as, to try to help him become a better person maybe, to make them question their choices they make, and try to not hurt the girls that he's involved with. A lot of the time, there really is no good, definitive "right" choice in life, even if the path forward seems obvious in the moment, or even for a long time after. Every action has a consequence, and those consequences may not align with the more traditional, expected route of that choice. 

This has been my ethos on the gameplay, and by extension, the story telling of Detached. As I'm sure you all know, Detached isn't a happy, fast paced story that you jump into for a quick jack off session. It's not meant to be. However, mixed in with all of that misery, fear, jealousy, anger, hate, pain… you also help develop and shape and care for these girls (and bros) through it all. It's kinda really shallow in the grand scheme of video games, sure. I'm not a professional, and I don't have the time or energy to get, like, any more crazy than I've allowed it to get to, but I feel like the quality of what is already there more than makes up for the ultimately shallow nature of this silly project. I'm always looking to improve and polish what I already have, and, by extension, what will be.

This has been my most successful, intense, complex, and polished products of my creativity. If you asked me if I could even do a first build ten years ago, my answer would have been a resoundingly indifferent "meh, I don't want to turn what I like into a job."

Honestly, I'm still like that today. That's why I've always insisted that Detached was a hobby, even while I was busy sticking my foot in my mouth with arbitrary deadlines and release dates. Detached should be fun to make (lol), not me pressuring myself to hit that next arbitrary bi-monthly timeline like some kinda deadline bitch (no shade on people that actually have some kind of real drive for their art and business, all power to them. I just know who I am lol).

I'm fine with folks not being down with that kind of mindset coming from a developer, but it is what it is, and what it is to me is a piece of my art, and I guess my soul too, that I've meticulously poured into this little project of mine that accidentally almost grew out of control before I knew it, growing into a disgusting, yet pretty abomination. A piece of my soul that I've chosen to share with the public.

I've had a lot of time to think about where I want to truly bring Detached. We're still technically in the beginning stretch of Chapter 2. Something I've mentioned before is that I want to bring in various meters to gauge where the girls are at. I never really explained the concept before. Think of them as "love/hate" meters, or whatever bullshit thematically fits here. There's an incredibly messy process I use to track progress with characters, and it's, well, fucking messy, and honestly, not very intuitive, but it fucking works, and it's really fucking basic bitch shit. I want folks to be able to visualise their progress, though. I dunno. I'll leave it to a future vote.

You may have noticed an additional stat counter on Rose's screen. That stat value indicates certain progress made with her. King also has a hidden stat called Impression, which will affect her Pride meter. While those stats are unique additional stats added to those two characters, they will still progress the same as all the other characters (the odd choice here and there, how Daine treats a situation, when certain events are played before or after others, etc, all affecting the characters' routes). These stat changes, however, are caused by (mostly) personal interactions, and will more dynamically affect these two girls specifically. 

Rose is a touchy girl, and Daine is abrasive, so it makes sense that what he says and does around her really affects what she thinks of him, regardless of route. What he says and does will matter more, thus Trust. King is very much your boss, and as of Chapter 2, your mentor. You need to work to impress her, and fill her with Pride. The other girls, well, they also have stuff going on too, but it's not as… obvious at most points, nor is it as involved. 

Regular and Trust Bars: 

<-----|----->

(Rose's trust will vary wildly)

Pride Bar:
|----------->

Thus: Progress meters. Thoughts?

Now onto the Detached storyline stuff.

Alongside weaving the (currently) 14-ish individual relationship storylines in and out of the main story, there's actually three concurrent main storylines going alongside each other in tandem within that main story.

What I'm saying is that now that the story is rapidly picking up in Chapter 2, with a lot of fucking shit planned narratively, I'm finding that I should start actually planning ahead considering the plans that I do have, bare bones as they technically are. Detached is the most complex thing I've done narratively. Now that I'm beginning to weave all of these threads in and out of each other with every update with increased frequency (story frequency, not my ineptitude with keeping a schedule lmao) and complexity, I need to start figuring out how the heck I'm gonna tie them all together.

I'm planning a complete play through of Detached. You know, actually play my shitty game instead of just testing bits and pieces of it as I go. See where there needs some touching up, touch up more grammar shit I either missed when brought to my attention or found when picking through events for specific details, see what other QoL stuff I could add in or expand on, etc. Notes. All of the notes.

Most importantly, I think I need a refresher. It's been a minute since I rewrote the intro events of Detached just before the first public release, and it's been almost a year since I've done some meaningful writing.

I also need to actually start leading the story to its intended end, of which I have many planned. And by many, I mean… Well, you'll see if we ever get there. I can't promise that it'll be, uh, well, good. I've never actually completed a story of this magnitude, nor have I finished a story in years. 

Detached has been largely written with vibes and goals and story beats in mind, and filling in the rest to get there, but I've never once truly world built outside of my head, aside from putting it directly into development, or talking about future story points with friends. Now is the time to plan, and to start showing off what I've learned along the way.

After all, what are my Events, if not just a collection of miniature stories with endings that tell a larger story? I write multiple endings per update. I've grown as an author and artist thanks to all of my friends, fans, and fellow devs, I got this.

That's all far from now though, and right now, I have a game to work on.

I wonder if i should upload or stream my playthrough and progress on note taking and working and shit. I wouldn't even know where to start with that, but my voice and sociability needs practice.

Anyways, let me know what y'alls think. I'm interested in hearing about it.

Thanks for reading.

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