I loved this one. It was really interesting and fresh.
Really good work. My feedback is that some of the orchestration could have felt more natural, but you did a lot considering the time you had. For some reason I also feel like you'd benefit in particular from having a real instrument or two in your mix with a microphone. I like the Shure SM57, that's what my stuff is recorded with (I have a matching pair for a stereo image). It's known to be very accurate, which means that you can do a lot of great postprocessing. Accuracy (as opposed to microphone color, which is what more money tends to bring) works well for your genre of music as well.