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Tsuya - OST Jam 07's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Correlation to theme | #37 | 4.173 | 4.173 |
| Composition | #43 | 4.141 | 4.141 |
| Overall | #61 | 3.979 | 3.979 |
| Impression | #64 | 3.948 | 3.948 |
| Quality | #95 | 3.995 | 3.995 |
| Creativity | #224 | 3.639 | 3.639 |
Ranked from 191 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Judge feedback
Judge feedback is anonymous.
- The overall structure is nicely defined— I love how this opens with that absolutely beautiful flute/piano duet. The introduction of strings is nicely handled and feels sensible and organic, and it builds beautifully into the full statement. Very nicely handled, and has that sense of inevitability that is sometimes very difficult to achieve— excellent work. The C#/Db in the solo violin part at 1:46 does somewhat stick out to me. While I like the idea of increasing the harmonic complexity, something about this particular note doesn’t quite sit right to my ears— I think perhaps because it is at the top of the dynamic peak it pokes out quite a bit. Having said that, this is only a small critique insofar as I think a live player would certainly be able to pull it off by tucking it in a bit— to the extent possible it might be worth trying to get the sample to not make that note protrude quite so much— I certainly can understand *why* you’d like this particular note here (it seems to fit with the overall harmonic idea you’ve developed), the execution in the moment I think needs a bit of smoothing out. Your string writing sounds wonderful, and I think it could be further enhanced by trying to liven up individual string lines *as lines* rather than just chords. You’ve chosen lovely chords to go along with your melody, now try to use that structure as something that can be a framework for arpeggiated chordal textures in say, the cello, or “rocking” figures in the violas, etc. From a production perspective, I do feel like the reverb effects are a touch aggressive for my taste, especially on the piano. Having said that, I love some of the effects you’ve put on the piano, especially those that give it that “snap-back” sound. Very nicely implemented. I love how you bring up the overall density and dynamics after the violin solo, letting us seamlessly segue back into a more soaring string statement— I was expecting the piece to sort of die down after the solo violin section, so it was a pleasant surprise to hear such a nicely-rendered set of ideas here. Based on your notes, I can see how this illustrates that you could adapt your composition to the flow of the story. Overall lovely work that I think definitely achieves what you were attempting to execute!
Description
Orchestral song.
More detail on the page of the submission or in this Miro link:
https://miro.com/app/board/uXjVKzVwkVc=/?share_link_id=923033516824
Message from the artist
https://miro.com/app/board/uXjVKzVwkVc=/?share_link_id=923033516824
Here is a Miro board with my thoughts.
thank you!
Theme
How does it fit the theme?
Impermanence:
Examining the picture, we can see a little girl in a yukata smiling while holding the hand of what seems like a maternal figure (mom, grandma?), so immediately the theme in Japan (a country I would love to visit for its cultural richness and vistas).
I had some thoughts about the text theme "inside my world", and thought that maybe the bubble-shaped lady could be in the imaginative and boundless world of creativity of this kid.
But even if there is a lot of happiness with the girl smiling from ear to ear and the cute, drawn fish, bubbles, and algae, to me it's still reads as something quite tragic.
Bubbles are by essence, one of the flimsiest physical events that I can think of.
When formed they can seemingly pop randomly and almost immediately, and in the mind of a child, they just cease to exist.
They are the beautiful, but ephemeral, the physical manifestation of impermanence.
In a way, they are a good image for life itself, a fragile and provisional state of existence that we are all bound to.
This picture paints, for me, the beautiful imaginative world of a little girl who is, in a way, connecting one last time with a recently deceased mother/grandmother.
Tsuya:
A Japanese wake is called tsuya which means "passing the night".
I think having this be the starting event of this story would fit well both themes.
Saddened by the loss of her mother, the little girl tries to paint a colorful world with her mother on it but as she falls asleep, she gets transported into this dreamy world of her drawings, but now tainted by darkness.
But her mother (bubble lady) will show her the way to save her world, give her the strength to face her new life without her, and for one last time, show just how much she loved her.
Link(s) of the submission on streaming services
https://soundcloud.com/kevin-fernandes-878873752/tsuya-main-theme
Number of tracks1
Genre
Soundtrack use permission
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Comments
As much as I like to talk about how emotional and wonderful the song is (like the fact you made this much emotion and storytelling in one single song is enough to be great), I would like to point out how well you analyzed the themes and how you presented it in such a clear and clean way with the board.
I can see how your thought process goes from the explanations and inspirations, mainly how you would think that the game would be a puzzle platformer with emotional storytelling like Celeste. The breakdown of even the title of the song "Tsuya" being part of your explanations show how well-researched are you to make this entire one song count. You did amazing with this track and you should be proud of it.
Now for music, I'm not sure where exactly you will put this in the game, would you put it at the climax of the story? the ending sequence of the game? you could even put it at the title screen as the main menu music lmao. Seeing how you talk and deconstruct the concepts is amazing and something I would strive for.
Amazing work, You deserve all the praise.
Thank you so much for such kind words!
So this is actually the introduction to the story, it's true that I didn't break that down properly but it's introducing the main motif which is the lullaby her mom sang to her.
For a breakdown:
Intro - We see the little girl drawing the little fish and bubbles, herself and some kind of silhouette.
Section A - We cut and go straight to the wake, it's raining, there are some cuts of some joyous moments of her and a woman we can't really see the face of, and we cut back to different moments of the wake, where we finally get to see the little girl.
Before Section A finishes - We cut back to the drawing and see droplets falling on the drawing.
Section B - We see the little girl crying in a somewhat dark room surrounding her little desk with a tiny lamp barely strong enough to light her drawing and her face, alone and in despair. We start seeing some parts of her drawing moving. Transition to black.
Section C - We see her as the drawing in the darkness, like floating / swimming. She sees a the silhouette and tries to reach her and struggles to do so.
Section C (part 2) - She reaches her and the silhouette takes the little girl in her arms and the darkness fades away a little bit, the drawing start to come to life and bubbles appear, some fish, around both her and the silhouette. But as the Section C ends, the silhouette stops hugging the little girl and start being like pulled by by a current, so do the bubbles and fish. The silhouette manages to split a part of her, as a bubble and give it to the little girl before being taken away.
Before Section C finishes - The world around the little girl starts getting dark again and the bubbles and fish flow with the silhouette away from her. She cries out with despair one last time before we fade to black again.
Section D / Outro - We see the little girl on a dark background slowly falling down the screen as she falls deeper and deeper into what seems to be bottomless darkness. And as the last few notes are heard, we see her slowly lying down on an invisible floor, with the bubble still in her hand. The last note we zoom unto the bubble, the remnants of her mother, that she will carry throughout her adventures, acting as a compass (as all parents should) and as a way to solve puzzles and other gameplay related elements (a kid must find his own solutions, but a parent should always be there to help out when needed).
I will probably add this to my devlog as it's true I wasn't fully clear on what was exactly the images I had in my mind. There's a lot of direct references to impermanence that make sense to me (it haunts me really) and I hope it makes it clearer where this song it supposed to happen.
Like I said, the lullaby was supposed to be the leitmotiv on all tracks in a way. "A Strange New World" is track 2 of the OST I was planning before having to ditch it for lack of time, and would be her waking up in this new world of hers. The first notes would be the leitmotiv "lullaby" played on Basses as pizzicato notes to have a somewhat playful and mysterious connotation. That's about as much as I had planned overall!
Thanks for bringing it up. And thank you again for so many kind words! It means the world that you liked my interpretation, as it's pretty close to my heart!
the fact that you were able to go in depth through each section of the song speaks volumes of how much love and effort you put into making this one track.
For the imaginary game, I could imagine that you managed to integrate the puzzle solving mechanics with the storytelling by making the silhouette as some sort of guide giving hints to the child protagonist.
The fact that you witheld that the silhouette was actually her mother on your description recontextualizes that she was suffering from grief and that the journey that the protagonist will go through was actually about acceptance.
That even in death, the mother still looks after her children. That she'll be with her throughout her journey.
The message is absolutely heart wenching, and i could imagine what a great game it could be from the soundtrack alone. The fact you created a link between the gameplay and the storytelling is peak. For a song used for the intro scene, it does leave a sepctacular first impression.
Thanks for the reply, I really appreciate it.
Thank you for going through more of my ramblings ahaha
Thank you for all the sweet praise, I'm really happy you got to see and feel the vision I had for the whole complete project, it was the most important to me, as being new to everything music, I knew that I also just couldn't rely on the music alone quality-wise xD
You made my day thanks again!
That buildup to the dropout was *chef's kiss* magnifique! The piece had a really good flow to it and it was composed really well. I wanted to hear that high piano ring out over the rest of the orchestra in that buildup at 1:20, but it got buried by the strings a little bit. Or have the piano part double up an octave higher or lower to give the melody some extra punch and differentiate it from the rest of the piano sections. Overall this was a really moving piece. Well done!
Hey thanks a ton for the feedback!
There was minimal mixing done due to both lack of time and knowledge. Currently going through a course on mixing & mastering and will revisit Tsuya after the jam.
Thickening the piano an octave higher I didn’t think though thanks for the tip!
A truly emotional and epic piece of music. You did an amazing job :)
Thank you so much for the kind words!!
Congratulations on your work, very beautiful and full of emotion. I liked how you orchestrated and developed the piece.
Thank you Ednar. Coming from you I'm happy you liked it :)
This was beautiful!!! You conveyed the somber/fragile feeling really well with the piano, loved it!!
Thank you for the kind words :)
I'm really happy you got the right vibe from my work!
this got me flOaTinG great stuff bru! 🌲
Thanks <3
I'm finally here! Now let's get into this!
good
xDDDDDDDDD
The journey that your piece took me on was magical, loved this!
Thank you so much for listening and commenting. Happy you liked it :)
Wowwww the quality is insane! Im in love with the piano throughout it's composed so well!
The mixing is great too, I loved hearing the powerful brass instruments on the right and the strings on the left, made it felt like a real orchestra was playing it!
That epic section at 1:15 is amazing... so much power and emotion to it its insane, and then the de-escalation of it was done so gracefully
Remarkable work, best of luck to you!
Thank you for taking the time to listen and comment, really appreciate it :)
So, you said that you have the same issues as me, but i feel like your execution was actually much cleaner than mine! I did enjoy this composition so very nice on that.
The mixing and mastering will definitely take some time to learn, but I know we got this!
Definitely much to learn! Thanks for your feedback :)
I really like the harmony, layering and overall the entire piece. The dramatic parts capture the more tragic side of her being in that world incredibly well. Great instrument choices and wonderful use of dynamics/the changing volume in your music! :)
Thank your for the super kind words and for taking the time to listen and comment, it's really appreciated!
aaaaa kev i’ve finally made it around to your ost! this theme is just absolutely beautiful. your arrangement and melody writing is incredibly elegant. im getting major joe hisaishi vibes! reading your miro board, i love all of the thought you put into your song. the analysis of the photo you did is really cool! good stuff kev!!
You made my day thank youuuuuuuu!!!
I’m super happy you liked it even a little bit ❤️
i loved it! ❤️
Something very calm develops into something dramatic, painful, and like being struck in the heart. I like it!
Thank you ❤️
I like the duality of the piano and the flute in the beginning, it allows for nice characterization. I also like when the piano is given silence along the track to show the repetition of the motif you gave the flute. I think your chord progressions are great at achieving the emotions you wanted, and the strings and piano execute these well. The dynamic range is also impressive, It really adds a lot to the track. The transitions from the percussion instruments are also really nice and help the track ease into the sudden new volumes. While I would like to give some feedback on mixing, I believe others have given good advice already. If I had to say one thing, when you start using EQ more, I find it helpful to think of it as setting an illusion of the full instrument to the listener, it will free up a lot of space while still keeping a nice sound. I hope my feedback is helpful, I tend to struggle with giving feedback like the latter half of it. This was a nice listen and it was very emotional, Great work!
Thank you that's super helpful feedback. There was essentially no mixing done other than panning and a limiter (lack of time, but also to tbh lack of skills so even with time that wouldn't have helped ahaha).
Thank you for taking the time to listen and give comment, means a ton!
I didn’t fully understand your comment until now. I now get what you meant by EQ giving the illusion of an instrument. Indeed I was able to cut quite a lot of frequencies that weren’t need on a couple of the instruments already, thanks again!
Yes certainly, I hope my advice is still somewhat helpful though! You did a phenomenal job with this piece, I saw you mention somewhere you wanted some good feedback so I included something a little more neutral than I would normally give feedback on. I look forward to seeing how your music evolves over your musical journey!
Yes super helpful and I really appreciate you taking the time to give me the other feedback for the overall track. Thank you!!
I really reallllly enjoy how it slowly develops and then the dynamics get to FFF for a super emotional moment and come back down again, It's really a good payoff . My only two pieces of advice will be to bring a bit to the front the flute in the beginning since (I think) it carries the weight of the melody when the orchestra is quiet and also to lower the vol of the piano comp/counter-melodies when the orchestra is starting to take over.
Thank you! I am definitely revisiting this with some volume automation and mixing work after the jam, thank you for your great feedback!
Nice! I love the flute and strings. Very moving! Oh my goodness, this song is so moving! So much emotion and heart! I love it.
Thank you for taking the time to comment. I’m glad you enjoyed it even one bit!
Your welcome! It really is a special song you have made here. I enjoyed it very much. Thank you for sharing and joining the Jam!
What an epic track. The buildup was amazing!
Thank you so much for taking the time to listen and comment, means a ton 🙏
Very nice orchestration and emotions, great job!
Thank you very much for taking the time to listen and give me your feedback. Appreciate it!
Wow just beautiful! The streaming link seems to be down but I just downloaded the track and listened to it that way : ) The way the melody evolves and brings in the other instruments is so well done and the mixing and mastering strike such a good balance between the harmony! A gorgeous OST!
Thank you so much for your super kind words!
It's weird that you'd say the link doesn't work, but might be because I actually changed my account name on Soundcloud and didn't think of the consequences! Thanks for letting me know I'll try to revert the changes.
Again thank you for going through the extra hassle and taking the time to comment! It means a lot!
Okay it works again, thank god you told me ahaha
Anytime dude : ) Glad to see it working now!
great soundtrack epic kind and melancholy.
Thank you!