While I appreciate the overall aesthetic of your track, I feel it could be improved by making it more interesting to listen to overall. The melody sounds too stagnant. It is too predictable and I feel perhaps it could be moved up an octave to make it stand out in the mix more. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it feels like the melodies aren't resolving harmonically. Also, the mix is too quiet.
Really cool artwork, giving me Dagobah vibes. But I would try fleshing out your video game idea more.