Solid idea and decent effort at crafting a unique story on short notice, but was a little rough in execution.
Breaking things down by criteria, spoilers from this point forward.
Implementation of Theme:
Looks like the interpretation of the theme here is Finetic providing a light for Blacktail to escape his "darkness", which manifests both in his supervillain career and in his personal struggles that led him to becoming a villain in the first place. Some things are a little unclear because of the writing (we'll get to that), but if this is the idea I think that's fine. It gets the job done.
Story:
Love the idea of a journalist spying on two supers having a personal chat with the added ability of being able to read their thoughts. As others have mentioned though, this premise isn't really adhered to consistently, and there are large stretches where the journalist character basically isn't mentioned at all. As it stands, especially since we only see Blacktail's thoughts for most of the story, you basically could cut the journalist entirely and just have the whole thing from Blacktail's perspective and you really wouldn't be losing much. Since what really contributes to the novelty of the premise is that third character, he needs to be developed more even if he's not a direct participant in the conversation. Does what the two primary characters are doing and saying make sense with the other information he knows? Does he think they're full of shit? What's his opinion on them generally? How does this opinion change over the course of the narrative? That sort of thing.
Presentation:
Don't want to beat a dead horse here since I think you know what the presentation issues are. No music, no backgrounds, dialogue that's very hard to follow, etc. I know everything was on a time limit because of the jam, but I would have rather seen some quick doodles like a gray rectangle to show that the characters are on a building, or some green squiggles to show they're in a field, than just having the black background throughout.
Creativity:
Like I said earlier, this was a really solid idea, but this VN, both in terms of script and presentation, really needed some more TLC before it was ready for primetime. Stick with it - you've certainly got a foundation, and I think with a little more prep and time management you could pull off something really special.