'The Curious Case of Route 19' is definitely not the type of story I read, but I'm glad that I got to experience it due to rating the submissions for the game jam. It's one of those crazy horror type stories that's full of jump scares, stark imagery (prominent red and black gory scenes), and a supernatural element that makes it a wild and immersive ride from start to finish. It's really well written, setting up an initial mystery, giving the main couple some nice chemistry and some steamy sex scenes early on, and then the breakdown of the characters as the hauntings get worse and worse. There's even three potential endings, which is a nice way to make use of the visual novel medium to explore different plots. The presentation is top notch, the audio design is great, the transitions and flashes of warnings are always chilling (plus the sex scenes are hot).
I was actually a bit surprised at some of the themes other than 'light in the dark' that permeate through this story. The way that social conservatism is brought up constantly, the graffiti on the bus stop, the mention of real world parallels to the election, even the reception lady at the motel, turns out to be a big plot point for the actual reveal at the end of the story (if you get to what I think is the 'true ending'). It's interesting, cause I don't have any criticisms for this story, the pacing is good, the characters have enough personality and agency to feel real, and the mystery/horror feels very at home in this type of genre.
What I have is more like critiques for the story choices made when exploring the plot, which are fully subjective and may or may not be the authorial intent. My interpretation is that the real 'evil' in this story is social conservatism, or just the persecution of queer people. While Julian is a serial murderer, he's ultimately been conditioned by his upbringing (being taken to church/being taught that queer people are less than human) and he becomes twisted to have a weird sense of logic of 'if I kill a queer person, then it cancels out the part of me that's queer' in a self described sense of internalized homophobia. So, when he finally gets caught, and runs away to California, he's able to finally address those demons within him and work on that. He still has that sense of guilt, which makes sense that he feels the need to return to his home town to come to terms with it.
I think there might be a few plot inconsistencies or head-scratchers, that I think happen with this set up and the final act of this story. For one, I think the plot starts to forget the whole 'homophobia is the evil' theme, and starts to focus in on Julian needing to be punished for his murders, treating it like he's a psychopath rather than traumatized. I think something that might've hammered in this idea more, is to really highlight the conservative gay-hating community in Craterville that shaped Julian into who he is. It's a bit weird that a community that dislikes gays would be particularly vengeful against someone that murders them, putting out that 'when the devil comes back' graffiti, and also immediately hanging him when he comes back. Maybe if they stopped at a diner, they get under-the-breath comments of 'you best be careful, gays end up getting killed here in Craterville'. Then there's the threat of an unknown murderer that might get them, and have Julian get nervous knowing that it's actually him.
The vengeful spirits also feel a bit underutilized, aside from being creepy jump scares and acting to warn Xander about Julian, I feel they could've been better used as a representation of Julian's guilt, especially once it gets to the final lynching scene. Like, the way the story was going I was expecting that Julian was actually going back to try and atone for his actions and hang/kill himself in some grand gesture or to rid himself of the guilt. Then, Xander could have the choice to intervene or not, in a sort of 'killing yourself just means the homophobes win, you need to find other ways to atone for your actions'. I guess having a murderer be dragged off to hell is the expected outcome, but it does leave the reader with a feeling of emptiness in all the different endings provided. It just feels like the ending ended up being wrapped up in a way that's a bit unsatisfying.
Apologies for going off and amusing myself with potential changes that might not even be the original intent. That just goes to show how great a job this story did in crafting an interesting premise that brings about discussions of the meaning behind the story. I also remember how early this was submitted in the game jam, so you really had a passion about this, and it shows. I think you've got a honed skill for writing and look forward to other projects you have down the line.