Noir didn't necessarily have to be jazz so I am going to defend what you did here.
For someone inexperienced you showed you correctly break up the sections where the treble high notes are exposed off by themselves which makes the experience kind of pulse and stick out as it alternates, that's a valid way to do some stuff like techno genre where the beats are dropped off for a section then come back so i'm onboard with that. It's used a lot in modern pop and edm. Like, I am experienced but i go hard all the time and don't do like -subtractive- work to make quieter spots like 80% of the time. Having the bass be chordal I have to say I wish I did that more often, I think in a growing catalogue that gets longer with time we miss our early pieces where we didn't go back and be more varied, experimentation that we didn't stick with. So cherish the early times while you are in them!
Gave you an itch follow, if you like the thing(s) on my page(s) consider doing the same.
Cheers!
--D