The basic story is good. It’s about a person with a passion they abandoned for practical reasons.
The writing successfully conveys the tension between work needs and self-fulfillment.
It didn’t feel like the game delivered consequences that forced you to decide between spending time doing what you love or doing what is needed for work. You can go sightseeing or not, but the obvious choice is to go. There’s no pressing deadline or meaningful outcome from the decisions you make. I felt this game had a lot of potential to deliver on this struggle to balance what you want with what is needed to keep your apartment and food on the table.
It is good but it needs that to deliver the feeling of buried and neglected dreams.
It still works as a short story but it could function as a story based game.
I felt that is what you were going for but I am aware that is my interpretation of your art.