I really like the idea you’re going for here. I think the main issue comes down to player attention span and onboarding.
When we build things, we tend to assume players will read instructions or documentation, but in reality most people don’t. That’s not a flaw in your concept, just something we all run into myself included.
I think you’ve got a solid idea, and I’ve seen a few other submissions try something similar. The challenge here isn’t execution so much as how the player is introduced to it.
Post jam I would increase the visibility of the text box so players immediately notice it. I would also consider some kind of guidance to ease players into it.
Overall the concept is strong, it just needs a smoother entry point for players to really get it.