Alright, I gotta level with you man. All this stuff about how gross combining energy drinks and tea is? I simply have to disagree. There's a reason Monster literally makes those themselves, and green tea Monster slaps.
Getting back on track, there's a lot of inspired creative direction here, but I feel like this VN doesn't always follow through on its ideas as much as it could, which leaves it feeling a bit undercooked in places. Getting into it by rating criteria:
Implementation of Theme:
I think there's certainly an attempt with the reference to the deer legend about swallowing half a peach pit to symbolize a lasting bond with someone else (a legend that may have been invented for this story, as a cursory search didn't turn up anything like this for the real world). While the folklore is tied into the narrative, like other parts of the game it doesn't feel very fleshed out. At the end, the monster doesn't even take the pit, so I'm not sure what the resolution was even supposed to be. Was just relinquishing the pit enough? If so, why? Was it just that the monster didn't like that Bird clung to the memory despite his reaction to the deer ending things? I don't know, it seems a bit muddy on what exactly the peach pit was supposed to represent.
Presentation:
Visually, this was awesome. The art was on the simplistic and cartoony side, but this created a unique visual style that I think really worked. If anything, it was a little reminiscent of Night in the Woods, but in terms of the fairly simple animal characters as well as some plot elements (e.g., protagonist returns home to old friends after trying to get away from their dead end small town). The animations and other bits of flair like inset images really go above and beyond, and it's impressive all this was done under jam constraints. The VN was well proofread as well, with very few noticeable typos or grammatical errors.
Where this VN was lacking in presentation, however, was sound. I'm not sure where exactly the issue was, because from the script file it looks like there was supposed to be music tracks playing at various points, but for much of the VN I only heard some very quiet ambient fuzz. It was actually driving me crazy for a bit - I thought I had to be missing something so I tried speakers and headphones to try to pick up more sound, but there didn't seem to be much there, even though SFX like the gas station door bell worked fine.
This is an issue because there are several moments that really could've used audio to help sell the scene. In addition to generating tension or setting the mood, quick audio cuts are very useful in conveying the smash cuts to different scenes that you attempt a few times in this project.
Story/Writing:
As mentioned at the top, there are a lot of interesting angles this story takes, but few of them ever seem to go anywhere. Martin is a genuinely caring person, despite his reputation, but he barely gets a line after this is made clear in his conversation with Bird about the cop. Harper's gender struggles are presented with honestly really refreshing frankness in the second scene in Bird's bedroom, but this is basically entirely dropped except for a token mention of Bird's mom unintentionally misgendering them.
The core conflict with the monster feels equally underdeveloped, as well as awkwardly paced and concluded. I understand that with any sort of supernatural horror you don't necessarily want to give too much away about the monster since that risks diminishing the fear or mystique, but there needs to be enough for the reader to understand the motivations and stakes. Like, okay, maybe the monster is a metaphor for how the deer was envisioned by his homophobic father, and we don't really need to know how his metamorphosis into the antler beast happened, but why is it attacking Bird's friends and associates? If it's to make Bird miserable as a punishment for calling the deer a coward, why is it hiding the victims in the antler wicker men things in the forest instead of displaying them for Bird? Why are they being placed in the effigies at all? Does the monster not intend to kill? How concerned do we need to be for anyone's safety? Why is it attacking other people at all if it's just going to smash through Bird's window and try to attack him there anyway?
Focusing on the pacing, it seems like we've barely spent enough time with the characters to settle in before that home invasion happens. It feels like we're hitting the climax while we're still in the first act. Maybe moving some scenes around like giving more of Bird's background before we're already mid-chase sequence would help the pacing - by having this be a conversation with Harper, you could maybe provide more insight into them as well to further flesh out both of the most important characters.
At the end of the story, we have Bird expressing that he wants to live, a marked departure from how he felt at the beginning, but I'm not sure what exactly is supposed to have prompted the change. Is it letting go of the sour memories about deer and the other town? Is it no longer being afraid of the monster? I don't even know if these things apply since the end comes so suddenly and we know so little about the monster that I don't know if anyone is actually safe or not (though it seems like the implication is that they are). We're also left with a lot of unanswered questions about the rest of the cast, like where is Martin in all of this? Where is Sam, or the cop dad? Other people were affected by this situation, and it's great that Bird wants to keep living, but there are a lot more pieces to pick up here that the story seems to kinda forget about.
Creativity:
Despite some of the critiques above, I want to reiterate that this was still a wildly entertaining ride. There are parts that could have been reorganized or fleshed out, but it's hard to fault the creativity here, especially when it comes to visual direction. I liked this a lot, I just wish there was a bit more character work to really dig into. Still a great effort though, to be sure.
Final score of 3 loose cannon cops that play by their own rules out of 10 peach tea Monster Rehab cans.