Fuujin and Raijin? Well, this is my kinda place !

Along with the idea of not understanding anything, really loved the story beats, and Ryley running on fumes without our knowing so... if only Kameron was spelt with a C and not a K... that aside, from the moment I saw the conlang I knew that the VN was going to end up with a lot of 'white noise', but that's what you get with this type of story, it's only going to make sense later. ...still. It is what it is.

The presentation is great, and gets especially good towards the end! So many shots of fighting.

About the ending... I'm supposed to remember the title the entire time, but it slipped me so intially I thought it was out of left field, but it solidifies that love. The language of love, and love without language. Ryley loved Kameron more than anything. He loved him more than life. In fact did he make his heart rumble...

Overall, it was a pretty good read! You're strong!

I have gone on record in other May Wolf reviews as saying that I love isekai and… yeah this is a really really fun iteration on the genre. From the many backgrounds with their radiant sky colors, to the various twists on real life technology, to the reveal of what Lou’s been up to the whole time - the spirit world doesn’t just feel like a pastiche of the genre, parodying the lack of language gap in them, but also like a proper acknowledgement of its strengths - which I love!

In general, I think that, past the plot, this story does a great job of conveying interlingual communication and the general experience of being abroad without the conveniences of modern life - there’s just something about connecting with people in spite of the language barrier - whether that be through food, music, or even just broken repetition of the few words you do understand - that just feels nice, you know? And I feel like this VN captures that really well.

That does, however, tie into one of the more mixed aspects of the VN - that being the conlang and its implementation within it. I’ll back what everyone else said about how impressive it is to have put in all that work, but at the same time, it does add a lot of empty noise to the VN - at least during an initial reading. While it’s fun to go back to the beginning scenes with the knowledge of the ‘twist’ and to see it represented in what people are saying, and it’s fun to see how the various characters slowly but surely learn the language to close the gap - it also winds up getting in the way of enjoying the story by taking away from the emotions of many of the scenes. At the end of the day, it’s hard to focus on the more dramatic scenes when they’re interspersed with what is, effectively, gibberish for the average reader.

The conlang dictionary is certainly cool, but, by its own admission, using it is not the intended experience - since it takes away from the experience of actually reading the visual novel and turns it into something far different.

That said, this is far from a serious story - and I don’t think it’s all that much of a problem for the few more serious scenes to be marred by the conlang stuff when the rest both make good use of it and are quite irreverent in tone. I might have said something else if the ending was more fleshed out, but as is, it feels like the tone of the story is quite consistent. That said, I do think the ending’s brevity is a weakpoint here - as though, once the dramatic sports match is over, we simply go through the motions to close things out, rather than lingering on the emotions of the characters - specifically those of Kameron’s, who makes the difficult choice of leaving in a way that feels far too sudden. I don’t entirely buy his claim for why he wants to leave - it feels like he’s lying to himself. That said, I do feel as though the story made the underlying feelings clear enough - but it still feels somewhat… arbitrary, in a way.

But then again, maybe that’s part of the point - at the end of the day, while the ending is quite sudden, Riley’s declaration at the end really does say it all - with or without the language barrier, whether on earth or in the spirit realm, he and Kameron love each other, and that’s what matters. It’s brief, simple, and still manages to get everything we need to know across. The meatbrained wolf who tried to cheat his way to power, now giving up on that same power after earning it fairly, in order to be with the one he loves.

In my opinion, this game represents Fuze at the height of his powers, which means it comprises all of this creator's strengths and weaknesses. You Make My Heart Rumble features all the fun, upbeat sexy shenanigans I've come to expect (and enjoy), plus a great sense of aesthetics that makes it stand out.

The amount of unique artwork is impressive, but I was more surprised at how well they were employed. Transitions, blocking, and visual effects are consistent and easy to follow thanks to skillful direction. These elements work together especially well during the action near the end, when they come together pretty much perfectly. 

The story here is such a joy, too. The premise may be on the simpler side, but it works fine to carry the levity the game is going for. One small issue I had was the amount of seemingly pointless moments that bring a mild level of bloat to some scenes. While I do think to game tries to give importance to these flashes, I fear it never scrubs away their superficiality.

Also, the project isn't exactly breaking the mold when compared to Fuze's other works. Take away the great visual direction, and You Make My Heart Rumble still displays limited body type diversity, flimsily established stakes, as well as the aforementioned instances of fluff. Being a fan of his for a while, these problems don't really bother me much and the game does make up for some of them, but they were noticeable points as I played.

Still, as I said from the top, this is some of Fuze's best. It's fun and sexy, with more than enough to make it memorable.

Ok, time to convey my thoughts into words, let’s see if I’m able to express my ideas on this entrance.

The first and most evident thing to say, this submission is very ambitious; judging by the great amount of sprites, beautiful drawn backgrounds, diverse set of CGs, and the word count scratching the cap for the Jam, quite impressive you were able to make all this in the lapse of one month and with consistent art direction that mixed everything together into a cohesive world.

Now, however, I won't deny that the word limit didn’t play a handicap over the narration, this story still has things to say, but due to the limit, it needed to cut some parts, affecting the plot and cohesiveness in some crucial parts of the story, like the final part where Kameron wanted to go before seeing Ryley being honored by the Devah (Sorry if I wrote it wrong, I don’t quite remember the title) by using the excuse of ‘Wanting that the last memory of him is he being happy.’ Cute and everything, but wouldn’t he be happier while being crowned, thus having a better memory of him?

As I said, this probably is due to the word limit instead of an illogical decision from the characters.

The implementation of the conlag (constructed language) is the most impressive feat of the game, it would be stupid to deny the fact. However, it seemed to drag a bit up the mid part of the game. I know about the existence of the dictionary, and trying to decipher the language as if you were a sort of linguist could be very fun, and it would add an extra layer to the game, but I can’t help to think that part of the responsible for the lack of space in the prose is due to implement part where the characters speak in this wicked version of Zypanese. Those who are not that interested in roleplaying as epigraphers, will surely skip those parts that they can’t understand, but due those parts also counts for the word limit, they will see a decrease of consumable content they can understand.

The characters were a bag of mixed success. First, Kameron and Ryley’s relationship quite feels a bit rushed, having two sex scenes in the lapse of two days, but that just be me, I guess. Cody felt more like a plot device rather than a character by himself, he was just the translator for Kameron and Ryley in those moments where they can’t convey their ideas, being able to learn the language at a more than acceptable level in less than 3 days.

The Crow and the Tanuki (I can't remember their names for the sake of my life, I’m sorry) were just there? They pretty much can’t talk with you, so it’s difficult to care for them.

However, arguably, I’d say that Eugene’s party was the best of the game. First, Eugene as Ryley’s rival is first depicted as the impossible barrier, the sworn obstacle on the good side’s path that must be defeated in a final epic battle, just to actually speak with him and notice that he’s just a nice guy, maybe a bit snarky, but good overall. An amazing subversion of expectations, that, actually, puts us on the bad side, with Ryley cheating and trying to summon an old evil to win the competition by any means, that also works perfectly by putting him under a new light. Yes, he’s determined and hard working, but until what point was he actually trying, and instead trusting that he has an unworldly power able to defeat everybody on his path?

Lou was also a great addition, having a parallelism with Kameron’s story, he also had his otherworld romance with Saya, affecting him in a similar way by having the best moments of his life ripped away due to the impossibility of actually being able to live in that world, a tragic ending. And he (seemingly) didn’t have a reunion at the end with his love interest, which, unlike Kameron, makes the conclusion of his plot more significant.

And Saya… OK, the reason I like her is for headcannons of she having a strap-on and pegging Lou until mental breakdown in their last day together rather a concise show her real self, but again, the parallelism of their stories with Kameron and Ryle is quite strong, and the moment of she and Lou touching their horns in a show of affection was the cutest scene of the story, I won’t hear any argument against.

With all this said, I really enjoyed the game, it brings a lot of interesting concepts to the table, and I wouldn't mind seeing the aftermath of the story in a short continuation to fully understand the implications of Ryley now being in that other world. I hope I haven’t come across as too critical, this game was such a delight to play, and pretty much everything I haven’t mentioned are things I enjoyed, like the music or the UI. Anyways, excellent job, maybe I’ll give a try to your other stories to see what kind of amazing stuff your mind has been cooking.

I loved reading this VN! I especially love Kameron, he reminds me of a family member who also played football but stopped due to an injury. This hit close to home in that regard. All the different effects were implemented wonderfully. But I need to confess I chose the stay option when presented with the choice and I didn't go back to see what pull away would do. I felt like the ending would be too sad.

Another jam, another Fuze thing. Get you a partner that loves you the way Fuze loves briefs.

Others have said most of what I want to say, but if there's any dev I would feel the worst about half-assing the review for, this is probably it, so I'll do my best to add something to the conversation. Generally, I thought there were some fun ideas here, but the way those ideas were delivered felt a bit more janky than I think you intended and that resulted in a final product that felt good but not great. 

Alright, let's do the thing:

Implementation of Theme:

Yeeesssss...? Kinda...? Like, okay, sure, Eugene and Ryley are supposed to be Fujin and Raijin, and the spirit world is generally supposed to be representative of Japanese (Zyupanese, whatever) mythology, so at least at a basic level, the box is checked, but my issue here is that Eugene and Ryley don't seem very connected to the myth we get about them other than their names. 

Like, unless I'm misreading, the intro tells a story of people calling on Fujin and Raijin to work together and repel an armada, but Eugene and Ryley are presented as a (partially subverted) typical sports rival anime dynamic. You can make the argument that humans (mortal furries, whatever) can't comprehend what the spirits are really like, but I feel like you could have tweaked the intro myth to make it fit the narrative a bit more, or the other way around. Like the connection is there, but it feels kinda weak, and otherwise I don't see any material distinction between the spirit world being specifically related to existing mythology and it being just any generic isekai alternate reality in terms of plot, characters, or worldbuilding. 

Presentation:

This was good though, so let's talk about that. The music here was absolutely killer and was one of my favorite soundtracks in the jam. Even when I was pausing to take notes and stuff I was grooving to the background tracks, many of which were pretty catchy and none felt tonally out of place to me. 

Visually, I think the sprites and backgrounds all worked well, and there was plenty of color and variation to keep things interesting, even though there were no CGs if I recall correctly between the cliff and the tournament other than the sex scene. Much like most of the rest of the VN, even without the CGs, the sheer volume of images here was insane given the jam constraints, and the tournament montage was exceptionally realized. It's stylish, kinetic, and engaging, and I think it worked really well! There was some really fun spritework too, like the bouncing effects to denote walking down the street. 

That said, I do kinda wonder why the cliff hanging scene got a CG? It's only on screen very briefly and doesn't seem that much more important than any of Kameron and Ryley's other interactions? I wonder if that effort could have been redistributed to another action scene or maybe some tension with the demon tornado thing.

There were some typos and grammatical issues, but I thought this was generally much better proofread than last year's May Wolf entry, so kudos for the improvement. 

Story/Writing:

Okay, before I really get into it, I just want to note that some of the characterizations of D1 football programs in this were absolutely whack, especially if the story takes place in 2026 (presumably it's at least close since there's effective live translation on the characters' phones). I'm not going to go through my list of grievances about that since adherence to college football realism is clearly not the point of the exercise, but football is very much one of my Things so I decided you needed to hear about it. 

Two things that I did want to specifically point out on the subject though are 1) I'm starting to get a bit tired of lines like "I think I'll stick to my socially accepted interest, sports." Like, at this point in the evolution of humanity, we've had NFL players do their Sunday Night Football intros in Naruto headbands and track stars doing hadoukens on the starting blocks. Can we please stop pretending like being an elite athlete is mutually exclusive with liking dorky shit? At this point it's more trendy to be interested in that stuff than not. 2) The line "I thought I'd stick out like a male cheerleader" is so bizarre. Like major college athletic programs have had male cheerleaders as long as they've had cheerleaders, and this is not unusual.

Focusing on the story proper, I'll concur with basically everyone else on the spirit language. "Conlang" is a new vocab word for me, but I had similar comments in my notes. Like other assets provided for this project, the effort involved is insane, and ultimately a bit wasted on something I inevitably started skipping through anyway. I agree with blue's points below about it maybe being more valuable if this was an extended, serial project, but for a jam VN you're basically writing a movie and not a TV show - every line you spend on neo-spirit-Zyupanese is a line you could've spent on literally anything else (or just cut since this was the longest entry in the jam).

I see what you're going for since there's some subversion of anime tropes going on here, and most isekai gloss over the language difference to the extent that it's addressed at all, but there's also kind of a reason for that. Like even with a very long (and arguably bloated) movie like Project Hail Mary, the language difference is resolved through a like two-minute montage sequence because, while dealing with that would be realistic, it also gets in the way of the main plot and themes you're trying to convey, and this VN has enough ground to cover on its own without that detail. 

On the subject of anime tropes, I did like some of the other subversions, like the sports rival actually being a pretty nice guy, and I thought those were pleasant surprises. That said, I found the progression of Ryley from going from Kameron, someone completely unfamiliar with this sport despite some superficial similarities to playing offensive line, putting his dick in the dirt on the first day to Ryley somehow becoming basically an Olympic gold medalist by the end of the week by doing some medicine ball exercises to be a bit ludicrous. 

There were a few other plot points that I felt could have been fleshed out more too, like the third act breakup between Kameron and Ryley and Ryley following Kameron through the gate. I felt like the "breakup" was just rushed across the board, with Kameron leaving Ryley at the hot spring without really giving him a chance to explain himself, and the inevitable reconciliation coming way too quickly after storming off like that. I also don't see much of a point in the one choice that follows that reconciliation, since, as far as I can tell, it doesn't affect anything anyway and there aren't any other choices for flavor text in the game. 

Ryley following Kameron through the portal felt tacked on and abrupt, with very little explanation given for the implications of a spirt showing up in the real world. Also, like, get fucked, Lou, I guess. Kameron gets his boyfriend to come live with him forever, but Lou doesn't get his girlfriend. Seems a little unfair, but whatever. I really feel like all of that sequence, from Kameron not having a conversation with Ryley after the tournament to the suddenness of the ending, were more motivated by worrying about the word count than anything else. Maybe it's just me being allergic to fun, but I kinda think just leaving it a bittersweet ending would have been much better thematically than forcing the indulgent "happily ever after".

One area that I think actually maybe benefitted from worrying about the word count was the tournament itself though. The most common sin of the "tournament arc", in my opinion, is getting too bogged down in individual fights to the point where it goes from exciting to dull and repetitive, and I think thematically doing a montage was the right way to handle this. However, I think this format may also have been necessary since, as detailed some of the worldbuilding is, I feel like the strategy and techniques for neo-spirit-sumo aren't actually all that thought through, which is why the fight summaries are basically just "Ryley kicked that guy's ass! Then Eugene kicked that guy's ass!" It's also kind of another knock on the conditioning sequences as opposed to strategy since the latter really should have been the point that close to competition, but it just feels like that part of the game doesn't really exist.

Creativity:

I think there's a fair bit of creativity here in trying to subvert some of the tropes of the very tropiest genre ever, and the worldbuilding (where we get it) and the focus on the isekai part of the isekai rather than just using the alternate universe as an worldbuilding hack to get the reader invested into the setting are all welcome. Obviously the implementation of the created language was very creative, but I do wish some of that creativity could have been applied elsewhere to further tinker with the tropes you were playing with throughout the story in more interesting ways. 

Final score of 5 chunin exams out of 3 grand magic games. 

Okay Fuze you always give us all really long and thorough reviews, full of your thoughts and constructive criticism, and so I'm gonna try to match your energy!

This is a hard one for me to rate, because, especially in the age of AI, the end result of art is worthy of praise and impressive, but so is the process. So that part of me is wowed by the existence of an entire conlang, even if it's heavily borrowed from and modified Japanese, in just a month, on top of all the writing and art you had to do beyond that. But it comes into direct conflict with the rest of me that played the game, that feels like it was mostly a detriment.This game is 25k words, technically a little over if you ask fvn.li, though I assume that's things like the thank you message, and perhaps some of the title select, I'm not trying to call any fouls there. But I wonder if the story wouldn't have benefited from more elsewhere. Sometimes it feels like words were cut out in sentences not because of typos, but because of a lack of space to use them anywhere. 

And that's really just my biggest problem with the game overall, the actual pen to paper writing, especially the prose. It's just so, so bland. I think there's maybe two similes in the entire vn, when Kameron compares the hot springs to eden, and when Eugene says that going through the portal back will be like a walk in the part. It's all "we did this, did this, and then did this." Straightforward, and often lacking in interiority. I want less one to one descriptions of the events, the food, the locale, the appearances of the other world (especially with how gorgeous the bgs are, they do 80% of the work already for you), and a bit more artistry in the prose. Sometimes Kameron does let us know how he's feeling, though it's often pretty straightforward "like" or "dislike," and I feel like a lot of the complexity of the character doesn't come through until towards the end, when it's revealed that Ryley thought he was summoning a demon to power him up. It's a lengthy entry, and that length is exasperated by the lack of variation to break up the writing. This one is a bit of a personal pet peeve, that there's almost always only one sentence per line, but I think that also lends to part of the monotony of the pace.

And the conlang is cool but... I think it's ultimately a hamper on the game. First of all, it drastically inflates the word count, but more importantly, I just... kinda start glazing over and mashing the space button when it comes up. And it's there for the whole vn! Kameron learns some words (and whenever he speaks only in Devah he immediately translates it in his thoughts afterwards) but for the most part whenever the characters are speaking to each other, it doesn't really add anything to have this conlang there. We get so many times where Ryley or someone else will say something, and it's completely illegible, and then Kameron will be like "I have no idea what he's saying" or "I'm just gonna assume this." Just write that! Don't bloat the space with the entire conversation that we the reader (and often the main character) can't understand and just kind of have to click through. I think you can still deliver the feeling of this character trying to learn the language, and slowly piecing it together, without needing the actual language always on display. Maybe if this were a much more longform vn, and we the reader would have the experience of slowly learning it alongside Kameron, but in a short jam game like this, I think that's ultimately too much work, for too little payoff, that took up space and effort that could've been better directed elsewhere. like a second sex scene More emotional connections after the big reveal of Ryley's attempt at cheating, to justify him following him through the portal (or the logistics on how a deva living in our world works, if he's gonna live extra long, or if time will pass him by extra fast, etc etc.). Just places that I really felt could've used more fleshing out that the many conversations that we didn't really need to see on screen, had been skipped and given time somewhere else. 

We get some plot threads that occasionally come up, but because Kameron lacks any real way to communicate with Ryley, they often don't really play out in any meaningful way. Kameron has several dreamless nights, and then when he finally has a dream, it's a nightmare about his experiences with homophobia, and getting injured due to a bad call (that was potentially made purposefully wrong to mess with him? I'm unsure), and while cuddling with a cumstained twunk probably isn't a bad way to shake those off, it's just one of the many character moments we can't really work around more because of the communication barrier. Occasionally they bring up the idea of "communicating without speaking" in the not quite sumo sport they play, but that isn't really utilized to justify the ending of Ryley giving up everything to follow him. Which I'm not complaining about, to be clear! I actually really like the overall progression of the story, I just want its delivery to be executed differently. Also Ryley tried to summon a demon and that's definitely what the murder whirlwind at the beginning was, right? ALSO IF KAMERON REALLY CARES ABOUT ALL THESE PEOPLE, HE COULD AT LEAST LEARN TO SAY THEIR NAMES RIGHT. I get that it's "ryley like Raijin and Eugene like Fujin, but after a certain point it's less "making the best with what he can" and just kind of disrespectful. Also looking at the origins of the name Eugene does have some really funny implications for a world that's a parallel dimension connected to japan. Another personal petpeeve, I wish we got more literal heart to heart moments. We get that one during the sex scene, and it's so good. I'm such a huge sucker for feeling someone else's heartbeat, especially as an intimate moment, so while it's brought up I think three times, i wanted more with them directly. You make my heart rumble, so rumble!!!

Okay that's a lot thank you for bearing with me. The presentation is fine, UI is nothing crazy but I quite like it as something beyond just the regular default renpy set up. The music is well curated, and none of the tracks ever felt tonally out of place for what was happening (beyond maybe the menu music being a rendition of pachelbel's canon, but I chalk that up more to me being overly familiar with composition), while still maintaining the general ambiance of the game. I see you branching out to other body types beyond the Signature Fuze Twink, and I respect and appreciate that. I am not immune to men, and boy are there some nice men to ogle in this game, triumph emoji triumph emoji. I  think sometimes some of the angles the characters are in they lose some of their identifying shapes as whatever their respective species are, though I do think you do the forward facing sprites for a character like a rhino pretty well. Sometimes when multiple characters are on the scene, the resused assets become a bit more obvious. There's one scene where Codie, Kameron, and Eugene are all hitting the exact same side smile smirk, and it really stands out. And the CGs... oogh. Y'know at first I was like "wow I know Fuze is a really prolific artist, i'm surprised there  haven't been too many CGs, considering the importance of a lot of these scenes" and then I got to the tournament. I'm sure the Media Literate recognize other Fuze characters making cameos, but ngl I got distracted by that final throw. Eugene? Ryley? I need to stick my media literacy in them iykwim. I know I joked about a second sex scene but insert the worf star trek "THIS IS SEX" gif here. Just let me fuck Eugene and I'll be normal I'll be fine. And worth stating again, I adore the BGs. Entirely original backgrounds is crazy, and I love the shaded painterly details in them. I think especially Ryley's apartment has a lot of life... for being so trashy bachelor pad lol. 

So yeah, this is really long, and I know it's a lot of complaining, which hopefully comes off as constructive. I have a huge respect for the amount of work you've done on this, and, as someone who is only vaguely familiar with some of your older work, and your previous maywolf, I think it's really exciting to see you branch out into stories that have another layer of depth to them beyond the porn. I really hope you keep at it, because you've got a lot of creative energy and I'll be reading the other things you put out. I wrote so much because there was a lot to talk about, and so I hope that comes through, and not just a massive downer of a review! 

This is the may wolf I've enjoyed the most of the ones this year. It would get judge's pick if that were an accolade I could bestow.  The art is really really good, both the sprites and backgrounds, and creating the conlang in a month is really impressive, especially with how much work went into the other aspects. It scratches the shonen anime itch very well. The use of folklore and the alternate definitely fits the theme and this was one of the things I like most about it: The use of mythology for telling modern and very grounded human stories is something I adore. However, I do have some negative critiques as well. In some areas, the pacing is somewhat off, there are many sentences with jarring grammar errors, and Codie was not particularly interesting to me. 

But I shall start with more detail on the good:

Using the format of an isekai to explore how Kameron is pressured by his position in the real world and what he does when the context is changed is smart writing. It's a good use of that trope, and the introspection he does and his decision to choose to love life and be authentic when he has to go back are heart-warming and powerful. I like that he was prepared to find happiness and love with someone else, and that resolution was absolutely necessary for the ending to work. It puts Ryley and Kameron on the same footing in terms of their desires and needs for the first time and their relationship is all the more powerful for it. 

Which brings me to Ryley's character arc: He'd be a minor antagonist in the plot Eugene, Lou, and Saya are in, the jerky rival who'd do anything to get ahead and who you have to beat despite him cheating. There'd be a tense fight and then he probably wouldn't be important after Eugene beats him. But because they aren't the focal characters and we focus on him and Kameron, we get to see what's behind that kind of character: Frustrated pride, loneliness, and misery. It really sells that all these shonen archetypical characters are people with their own needs, wants, and lives, which is generally something the VN excels at. I'm also a big fan of the way Ryley chooses happiness and optimism after Kameron abandons him. It would be easy for him to sink into rage and depression because of the perception that Kameron betrayed him, but he doesn't do that, proving that he isn't so selfish as he seems. Kameron and Ryley mirror each other in this way: Both are faced with the temptation to wallow in their anger and sadness, and they choose happiness anyway. I absolutely adore both their character arcs.

I also just want to touch again on the amount of creativity and work that went into this. The conlang is very impressive, and the sketchy dreamlike style of the backgrounds helps sell the vibes of an alternate world. You clearly put a lot of thought and effort into the art and set design. It makes the VN that much better. The dynamism of Kameron and Ryley's sprites is very charming. The tournament scene at the end was impressive with the comic style cut ins and presentation. I especially liked the scene where Ryley and Eugene were squaring up to fight each other, and we got the close up on their eyes. 

Another thing I want to elaborate on is the VN showing that all these shonen archetypes are people with their own needs and lives. Everything gets turned on its head after the hot spring. Eugene is not a jerk. He's been helping Lou out with surviving and has his own perspective that clashes with Kameron's but is entirely understandable. Lou was also going through his own romance. While we don't see much of it, it's clear that it was important to him and he has had revelations just like Kameron did. And Saya is much more than being defined as just Lou's girlfriend. She has her relationship with Eugene, her own job and life, and is one of the more active characters in the story. There's a sense that we've only scratched her surface. Eugene also proves himself to be surprisingly complex.  His simultaneous grudging respect for Ryley while also not wanting to be there to see Ryley officially be declared the winner of the tournament is human and quite compelling. 

However, this does unfortunately lead to the negative critiques I have. There's nothing like that with Codie. He came across to me as more of a plot device than anything; someone who can translate and explain some things to the reader without that responsibility falling to Ryley since that would mean some revelations occur too soon. He is defined by that role and as Ryley's friend without indication of much else going on there. This isn't particularly a problem for me since not every character can be fully developed, particularly in the scope of a game jam, but the story overall would have been elevated if Codie were more his own person. 

I also wish some of the quiet introspective moods lasted longer. I love Kameron's introspective nature and wish we got a bit more time with that side of him, particularly at the end when he and Ryley are both confronting their demons. The story would benefit from more time to breathe and unclench in the quiet intervals between the training and the character drama. However, I do still enjoy the quiet moments we have and it would be difficult to expand those in the context of a game jam, so I don't mind too much. 

The one thing that really jarred me was errors in the sentence structure that were fairly frequent. The VN has many comma splices and sentence fragments that routinely disrupted things as I read it. I generally feel that it's best to avoid those, but it also hurts this story in particular since there are moments when sentence fragments are used for a specific effect: The montage of Kameron training Ryley and the tournament itself. If those scenes were the only ones where phrases are short and choppy, and sentences run into each other, it would convey a sense of action and urgency. But as it stands, they aren't particularly offset from the rest of the VN because it's not a writing mode unique to those scenes. The writing would be much better if that contrast existed.

Overall though, I really liked this one. It's also a dramatic improvement over Horn and Fang. I liked that one but this blows it out of the water in terms of character, plot, visual presentation, storytelling, and theming. Keep up the great work, Fuze!

Read this with a friend of mine and we both enjoyed it! A fantasy-flavored romance story through and through, with beats of SOL moments that made me smile.

Firstly, I love the art. The sprites, backgrounds, music, and ui were all consistent. The expressions were great, with Ryley’s being all goofy, Cody all-knowingly smug, and the rest of the cast just as colorful. The final tournament sequence is absolutely peak, action-packed with so many awesome CGs and poses.

The conlang is also very impressive, and I love how the language barrier is set up to be a lot more present, contrary to typical isekais, but after a while of narrating, I found myself skimming over these lines. I liked learning about words and phrases as the story went along, and figuring out the characters’ quirks and mannerisms as they speak was pretty fun, but they’re all undermined by the sheer repetition. It’s an interesting interpretation of language barriers, but I feel a lot of these lines could be condensed into observational prose by the main character.

Kameron himself is a pretty chill guy. His progression through the story and his reluctance to part ways with his escapism are super relatable, but I also wish more was written about his problems back on Earth. His injury is understandable enough, but there was also that nightmare he had with homophobia that ultimately didn’t contribute much to the narrative. Lou the plot device did well as a foil, especially near the end to contrast Kameron’s situation, but it feels like that’s all there is to him.

I love Ryley.

The end with Kameron going ahead to the shrine is slightly inconsistent, prolly just for dramatic effect, but surprise happy ending makes me happy. An overall very satisfying read 👍💖

This VN makes me realize that I really love Shonen Anime, I just don't have the time to watch over 100 Anime episodes of a show (Also, please, don't recommend me shorter Shonen Anime, I think I'm good lol). This was a really fun journey. I didn't think I'd like it this much at the beginning with the isekai elements and the conlang, but this VN did some interesting stuff, ngl. There was a surprising amount of art in this one, which is pretty badass considering it's a game jam entry. I also really liked the music in this one. Yes, I'm a weeb, but traditional Japanese and anime music sound really good. I'm actually listening to Senbonzakura while writing this out lol. Anyways, I think the pacing was good. It being a longer jam entry makes you worried that it's going to rush through its plot points, and while there are a few things that go a bit quickly, as well as at least one plot point that seems to be forgotten about, the game goes at a pretty healthy pace for most of it. The characters are also really likable, with a few of them ending up subverting your expectations pretty nicely. I will say that it doesn't feel as folklore-y as I'd like it to be, but that's just a me thing. Overall, I had a lot of fun with this VN! I'd definitely recommend reading this if you like shonen anime, especially ones centered around tournaments.

A nice story of two idiots being in love despite themselves! I enjoyed it a lot, and there's a lot of charm in its presentation; the character designs and the backgrounds for instance. You put a ton of passion into this, I'm truly impressed

A really fun take on the “transported to another world” formula. Most notably how it takes a while for the language barrier to be broken (although, realistically not that long. I guess demi-gods are just like that^^). Having so much speech in another language was interesting and makes the whole place that much more mysterious. That does mean we lose a bit of that near the end, but at some point we had to get more into the story, I guess. (By the way, it’s nice that there is a dictionary but a pronunciation guide would be nice too^^ I understand not making a whole grammar though)

The sprites are really expressive and quite nice. The background really sell the other world (those skies are gorgeous) and the wrestling illustrations were really fun! The UI is clean too, and the music is nice. Just great presentation.

The folklore theming is pretty thin. I guess we are in a world shaped by it? I don’t really get the relevance of the Fujin and Raijin story at the beginning either…

Overall, a pleasant read with a nice conlangy twist (I love conlanging…) And that ending surprised me^^ Great job!

Cheesy in all the right ways. I adored the characters, and Ryley's growth, although we don't see it for a bit, is very satisfying. The art is phenomenal and expressive. Really goes well with the "anime" like plot going on. Of course, I'd love to see a "translated" version of the game in the future, but I understand the whole "not understanding" thing. It would be neat though

Overall, very fun! 

It's certainly an ambitious project, one that fully highlights the feeling of culture shock. The conlang is definitely a massive presence in the VN, but... even if I do understand the significance of feeling lost in a new culture, I have to say it was lost on me a little at the start. After all, I had no idea what was going on most of the time. Even if that's by design, the cold hard fact is that there isn't much of a plot that I could follow. My emotions stayed pretty much the same throughout: confusion and mild interest. Mostly, I'm not sure why it was *necessary* to have the weird alien stuff instead of it being literally just Japan. And all that interesting supernatural stuff is pretty much tossed aside to focus on a sports training arc instead. I'm also not sure how the story was meant to represent specifically the Raijin and Fujin motif that was introduced at the start, even if it's folklore-inspired in other ways. It is pretty cute how the characters have their little moments of mutual understanding, though. And I liked how quick they were to get horny with each other. They pretty much just cut through all that awkwardness and fuck.  In their underwear. And it's hot. Anyways, despite the rough start, I did end up enjoying the story once Lou rejoined the cast. Considering that there were finally some explanations, and the twist is that Ryley is kind of a dick actually? But they made up pretty quickly so it's fine. I especially liked the proper competition, owing to all the little CG pop-ins. Cool stuff! The ending was predictable but still cute. Ultimately, it's a nice little story. I just wish it was a bit more dramatic, and that it made a bit more sense, but it's good for what it is.

It was a very sweet vn! The story is cute, you show so many stuff about Japan, and I like all this interaction with the characters dealing with this isekai situation.

I couldn’t leaving without praising all the assets and beautiful art that were made, especially the tournament omg??

Very good job~

I do enjoy this. Ryley is appealing. Overall this is great enough for me to expect this could get further