Another jam, another Fuze thing. Get you a partner that loves you the way Fuze loves briefs.
Others have said most of what I want to say, but if there's any dev I would feel the worst about half-assing the review for, this is probably it, so I'll do my best to add something to the conversation. Generally, I thought there were some fun ideas here, but the way those ideas were delivered felt a bit more janky than I think you intended and that resulted in a final product that felt good but not great.
Alright, let's do the thing:
Implementation of Theme:
Yeeesssss...? Kinda...? Like, okay, sure, Eugene and Ryley are supposed to be Fujin and Raijin, and the spirit world is generally supposed to be representative of Japanese (Zyupanese, whatever) mythology, so at least at a basic level, the box is checked, but my issue here is that Eugene and Ryley don't seem very connected to the myth we get about them other than their names.
Like, unless I'm misreading, the intro tells a story of people calling on Fujin and Raijin to work together and repel an armada, but Eugene and Ryley are presented as a (partially subverted) typical sports rival anime dynamic. You can make the argument that humans (mortal furries, whatever) can't comprehend what the spirits are really like, but I feel like you could have tweaked the intro myth to make it fit the narrative a bit more, or the other way around. Like the connection is there, but it feels kinda weak, and otherwise I don't see any material distinction between the spirit world being specifically related to existing mythology and it being just any generic isekai alternate reality in terms of plot, characters, or worldbuilding.
Presentation:
This was good though, so let's talk about that. The music here was absolutely killer and was one of my favorite soundtracks in the jam. Even when I was pausing to take notes and stuff I was grooving to the background tracks, many of which were pretty catchy and none felt tonally out of place to me.
Visually, I think the sprites and backgrounds all worked well, and there was plenty of color and variation to keep things interesting, even though there were no CGs if I recall correctly between the cliff and the tournament other than the sex scene. Much like most of the rest of the VN, even without the CGs, the sheer volume of images here was insane given the jam constraints, and the tournament montage was exceptionally realized. It's stylish, kinetic, and engaging, and I think it worked really well! There was some really fun spritework too, like the bouncing effects to denote walking down the street.
That said, I do kinda wonder why the cliff hanging scene got a CG? It's only on screen very briefly and doesn't seem that much more important than any of Kameron and Ryley's other interactions? I wonder if that effort could have been redistributed to another action scene or maybe some tension with the demon tornado thing.
There were some typos and grammatical issues, but I thought this was generally much better proofread than last year's May Wolf entry, so kudos for the improvement.
Story/Writing:
Okay, before I really get into it, I just want to note that some of the characterizations of D1 football programs in this were absolutely whack, especially if the story takes place in 2026 (presumably it's at least close since there's effective live translation on the characters' phones). I'm not going to go through my list of grievances about that since adherence to college football realism is clearly not the point of the exercise, but football is very much one of my Things so I decided you needed to hear about it.
Two things that I did want to specifically point out on the subject though are 1) I'm starting to get a bit tired of lines like "I think I'll stick to my socially accepted interest, sports." Like, at this point in the evolution of humanity, we've had NFL players do their Sunday Night Football intros in Naruto headbands and track stars doing hadoukens on the starting blocks. Can we please stop pretending like being an elite athlete is mutually exclusive with liking dorky shit? At this point it's more trendy to be interested in that stuff than not. 2) The line "I thought I'd stick out like a male cheerleader" is so bizarre. Like major college athletic programs have had male cheerleaders as long as they've had cheerleaders, and this is not unusual.
Focusing on the story proper, I'll concur with basically everyone else on the spirit language. "Conlang" is a new vocab word for me, but I had similar comments in my notes. Like other assets provided for this project, the effort involved is insane, and ultimately a bit wasted on something I inevitably started skipping through anyway. I agree with blue's points below about it maybe being more valuable if this was an extended, serial project, but for a jam VN you're basically writing a movie and not a TV show - every line you spend on neo-spirit-Zyupanese is a line you could've spent on literally anything else (or just cut since this was the longest entry in the jam).
I see what you're going for since there's some subversion of anime tropes going on here, and most isekai gloss over the language difference to the extent that it's addressed at all, but there's also kind of a reason for that. Like even with a very long (and arguably bloated) movie like Project Hail Mary, the language difference is resolved through a like two-minute montage sequence because, while dealing with that would be realistic, it also gets in the way of the main plot and themes you're trying to convey, and this VN has enough ground to cover on its own without that detail.
On the subject of anime tropes, I did like some of the other subversions, like the sports rival actually being a pretty nice guy, and I thought those were pleasant surprises. That said, I found the progression of Ryley from going from Kameron, someone completely unfamiliar with this sport despite some superficial similarities to playing offensive line, putting his dick in the dirt on the first day to Ryley somehow becoming basically an Olympic gold medalist by the end of the week by doing some medicine ball exercises to be a bit ludicrous.
There were a few other plot points that I felt could have been fleshed out more too, like the third act breakup between Kameron and Ryley and Ryley following Kameron through the gate. I felt like the "breakup" was just rushed across the board, with Kameron leaving Ryley at the hot spring without really giving him a chance to explain himself, and the inevitable reconciliation coming way too quickly after storming off like that. I also don't see much of a point in the one choice that follows that reconciliation, since, as far as I can tell, it doesn't affect anything anyway and there aren't any other choices for flavor text in the game.
Ryley following Kameron through the portal felt tacked on and abrupt, with very little explanation given for the implications of a spirt showing up in the real world. Also, like, get fucked, Lou, I guess. Kameron gets his boyfriend to come live with him forever, but Lou doesn't get his girlfriend. Seems a little unfair, but whatever. I really feel like all of that sequence, from Kameron not having a conversation with Ryley after the tournament to the suddenness of the ending, were more motivated by worrying about the word count than anything else. Maybe it's just me being allergic to fun, but I kinda think just leaving it a bittersweet ending would have been much better thematically than forcing the indulgent "happily ever after".
One area that I think actually maybe benefitted from worrying about the word count was the tournament itself though. The most common sin of the "tournament arc", in my opinion, is getting too bogged down in individual fights to the point where it goes from exciting to dull and repetitive, and I think thematically doing a montage was the right way to handle this. However, I think this format may also have been necessary since, as detailed some of the worldbuilding is, I feel like the strategy and techniques for neo-spirit-sumo aren't actually all that thought through, which is why the fight summaries are basically just "Ryley kicked that guy's ass! Then Eugene kicked that guy's ass!" It's also kind of another knock on the conditioning sequences as opposed to strategy since the latter really should have been the point that close to competition, but it just feels like that part of the game doesn't really exist.
Creativity:
I think there's a fair bit of creativity here in trying to subvert some of the tropes of the very tropiest genre ever, and the worldbuilding (where we get it) and the focus on the isekai part of the isekai rather than just using the alternate universe as an worldbuilding hack to get the reader invested into the setting are all welcome. Obviously the implementation of the created language was very creative, but I do wish some of that creativity could have been applied elsewhere to further tinker with the tropes you were playing with throughout the story in more interesting ways.
Final score of 5 chunin exams out of 3 grand magic games.