The first part was like a "try to work without my glasses simulator" but actually kind of satisfying, had me double checking my work. I like that there's hard death, makes you have to look closely. I think you picked a really tight concept to build around to evoke a feeling within a really limited period of time.
You did a good job of implying a dystopian world that exists off the screen.
I slurped my coworker out of the meat hole, and I'd do it again :D Really good stuff!