There was real potential in the initial premise. The MC seemed sincere and likable, and Mariam is absolutely adorable—you just want to protect and love her to the moon and back.
But when the MC turned into a total asshole—selfish, arrogant, unhinged, and manipulative (not in a "fun" way, but in a truly nasty way)—it started making me uncomfortable.
You have to remember that the player is supposed to relate to the character... if you aren't told right from the start that you're meant to be dark or hateful, you lose the reader when that shift happens. Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, sure, but there are limits. In a video game, you choose to be good or bad—or at least the premise makes that clear immediately, like in *GTA*—so you can decide whether or not to play it. Here, you start out thinking you're a decent person, but then... well, okay, people do stupid things in real life and face consequences when they get caught. But in this case, the character you're supposed to identify with goes way too far; the gap is insane. He starts a fire he might not be able to control (okay, he *does* control it), but in doing so, he ruins a woman's life—potentially killing her sick father by depriving them of money and medicine (even if the father is a jerk)—all to manipulate her. It essentially amounts to a nasty act of sexual violation, even though the scene itself is well-executed, the underlying concept is disturbing... For once the scene is over, the manipulation comes to light, transforming what was a somewhat rough act—born of hidden, repressed desire between two former comrades—into rape.
And even though she's a bitch, the conversation she has with Mariam right before the fire starts to make her sympathetic; it partly explains her attitude—showing that, deep down, she's someone who suffered because of a shitty father and could potentially be redeemed.
Now we’re going to have to face the consequences of our actions... I don’t know if I’ll have the courage to face the path things have taken; I’d be utterly devastated by everything I’ve done—especially since my lovers do so much for me. I’ll ask for forgiveness without expecting it to be granted, I’ll quit my job, I’ll pay for the damage I’ve caused, and I’ll walk out of Mariam’s life—her life is hard enough as it is, and she doesn’t need a monster like me in it. Finally, if the police come for me, I’ll turn myself in without a fight.
Game Over! The MC deserves nothing less.
PS :
Sorry for the wall of text; it just goes to show how much I was loving it right up until things went south.