In this post I will comment on the story/dialogue. There were a number of typos, though I did not track them. This is mostly going to be on impressions of the story and characters. The early part is more detailed. I was a bit less focused on the story notes as I played further.
Even though I have played through before, I am going to try to look at the story fresh as I play.
The cinematic is a great way to get things started. It does a good job of conveying the horror of what is happening, without showing the actual event.
First Party Chat
I like the group. They feel like a good team that has worked together and built up a solid team dynamic and trust. I really like Gwen and how you show her intelligence by pointing out the detail that so many would miss.
First Encounter
My initial thoughts when we meet the attackers is that they are the rebels fighting back against a government they oppose. It is unclear at this point who are the good guys and who are the bad guys. Looking at it from the point of view of today in the real world, governments, especially "united" ones with big militaries, are usually the bad guys. While rebel groups often have legit reasons for opposing them, even if their methods may be problematic. The intro cinematic showing what they did makes the current situation feel like they are the bad guys here, though still leaves the question of if your party are also serving an evil empire.
Post First Combat
The enemies come off as very arrogant and clearly view themselves as superior. There is no effort to try to explain to the government forces their position or try to recruit them to their side. Just the view that they know best and will "free" people by killing anyone who gets in their way. Classic bad guys who want to claim to be good.
Second Combat
Flinn comments on being happy to have an excuse to fire, making him seem like a typical soldier who just loves combat and doesn't really care about who or why he's shooting.
I like that you use the dialog to mention the asteroid field, teaching the player a bit as part of it.
Post Combat
Nothing much to comment here. Felt like expected continuation of dialogue.
Third Combat
The dialogue gives the player a warning that the enemy has something powerful and to be cautious about some big unknown threat.
Post Combat
The Mysterious Voice being less aggressive adds a nice additional angle from the enemy group. The troops are more aggressive and ready to fight. They still give warnings, but in a self-confident arrogance that is unlikely to convince other soldiers to back down. You have only words and they have just as much reason to believe in their superiority. Unless you can show far greater power, why would they listen to such a threat? This feels realistic. Just look at the posturing in current real world wars where everyone thinks they are the greatest and have the upper hand.
The post-combat cinematic on Dronghur really shows the horrors of what the enemy has done and removes any question that they are bad guys.
The dialogue here give the initial information that the invaders are here for mining resources. The line about peaceful protest and getting killed feels quite relevant to the modern world. I like the Dronghur leader's pointed comments about hoping they can do enough, but admitting they are likely going to die trying.
The Crusher
1st Combat
Again, nice to have warning about enemy ships.
2nd Combat
The dialogue mentions the supply lines, along with red boxes, though I had already encountered both red and green boxes.
3rd Combat
This dialogue starts to hint at what the invaders think the resource can do. The way they are talking implies more than just reversing time, at least what Crusher thinks of it.
Post Combat
The Mysterious Voice makes some good points on the typical government arrangements where they can't actually live up to promised protection. At best they typically just get revenge, usually as an excuse to do violence they wanted to do anyway. None of that can justify their actions, but it may be that both sides are bad, just in different ways. So far Gwen seems like someone who cares and wants to protect people, but may be serving a typically bad government.
The Signal
1st Combat
Again, nice offering advice on the combat. The dialogue fits with the characters.
Post Combat
Again the dialogue does a good job of arrogant people says doing what I say, but not explaining the reason and just acting like they are superior and should be obeyed without needing to actually discuss with people.
2nd Combat
Dialogue seems to repeat from the 2nd combat of the first mission.
Post Combat
Also a repeat.
3rd Combat
Not much to comment right now. Dialogue works.
Post Combat
Warning about boss fight is helpful.
Signal Combat
Short and to the point. Enough has been said, mostly repeats, so it makes sense to end the connection and get to taking out the invaders.
Post Combat
The mention of a "cut Primordial Stone" hints that such might be what they are mining here.
Final Cinematic
Intimidating. Can't wait to try to win the fight!