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Fantastic art and theme. I like the writing but, to me, it feels simultaneously too loose and too structured, like a CYOA novel. It would make for a great solo scenario and I'd like to be a player going through it but I'm not immediately sure how I'd run it for others. 

Thanks for the the effort of providing feedback! Much appricated. Tried something new with this one. Worked for me when running it but I do understand the CYOA novel reference as well.