The first adventure I have reviewed in this jam that went for A6 page size. Nice to offer the different layouts, though the two layouts I would find most useful would be: (a) A6 distressed pages without bleed, for viewing on a screen; (b) plain pages laid out 4 per sheet on 2 A4 sheets for printing at home.
Cover: captures the Appendix N vibe perfectly, with effective use of (I assume) public domain imagery, bold choice of fonts and intriguing teaser.
Interior art: Generous use of interior art, quite impressive for the size of the adventure, given the tight space constraints of the jam.
Looking at the art before reading the text: I get the feel that this adventure is leaning into Persian or Achaemenid mythology (except the dinosaurs, I look forward to reading how they fit in). Art styles are not totally consistent, but I think that still works, giving the adventure an unpolished OD&D/Zine/OSR feel.
Text: Use of alliteration is a fun conceit, it gives the impression that this is an adventure that is not taking itself too seriously.
Location descriptions: evocative, concise, well-written, thematically strong and consistent. Several encounters (ox, lammasu, demon) offer opportunities for role-play as well as combat. Might be nice to also have a puzzle or trap.
Gameplay: it’s a classic dungeon crawl with simple quest setup and a unified theme. Looks good for a fun evening of play, as a one-shot or with hooks to a future adventure navigating the cosmos.
I now read that the dinosaurs are “dragon hybrid creatures”. Why are they here? The other encounters are either desert dwellers (scorpions) or spiritual beings (lammasu or demons) or linked to a magic item (the spirit of the High Priest). The dragon encounter is the only one that lacks a clear explanation for why the creatures are there. Maybe they should be bas-reliefs that come to life when the sword is touched?
Random encounters: The dungeon has only a dozen rooms, so it seems infeasible that there are 6 different groups of monsters wandering around. I’d probably drop all the random encounters except the manticore, as it fits with your achaemenid theme and manticores traditionally haunted empty tombs and shrines like this one.
I would probably also drop the OD&D-specific rules references (“per page 24 of Monsters & Treasure”) as I imagine many people will run the adventure with a retroclone or compatible system. Or at least relegate it to a footnote.
Overall very nice work! I can see myself running this adventure.