Hey, just played the demo. Pretty good start, animations are great, renders are really good, models are hot, storyline could get interesting.
Few things for you as you asked for feedback:
Mc's name always has "the" in front of it should be removed.
awkward is spelled wrong.
English is, actually pretty good, really.
Relationship need some expansion, i.e. Mom is called friend, no definition at beginning just her name. Probably just need to do some more definitions for characters.
Be nice to have a short intro. of MC and characters involved and what happened, just to help with defining characters at the outset (I.e. ex-wife, daughters and so on)
IMO only!, characters are a little too "shiny", they all seem to be sweating or crying (I know one is actually sweating, lol).
Good start, hope RL improves and you keep yourself healthy, physically and mentally. Seen a lot of devs burn out and some even pass away from not caring for themselves. I'm on Discord, ( and here , of course). Hope this acts as a positive distraction if you need it.