Wow. I'm a bit speechless. But that was great. Really good. Really visceral, especially the scenes set in the present. I started reading this part of the story first, thus ended with the last scene of the past timeline, which gave a fairly unique taste. In a good way!
However I'm frankly baffled at how this was submitted for a yuri jam. This is solely a random reader's personal nitpick, of course... I still enjoyed it a lot, as hard to stomach some scenes might have been.