You reached out to me when I was in a similar situation, and I never got back to you properly for it. I wanted to use this opportunity and let you know how much I appreciated your words of encouragement back then, they truly meant (and still mean) a lot to me. I hope I can give you some words of encouragement in turn.
I'll be honest, when I saw this post, it made me sad up to the point that I had trouble falling asleep at night. It makes me sad that you and so many other creative people have to deal with all of this, and that more often than not something like this inevitably happens. I also wish the world worked differently and that we didn't have to juggle marketing/reaching out to people on top of already having our hands so full with everything else we do. I'm glad you're not giving up on gamedev completely, though. It seems like taking a break might indeed be a good idea - burnout is definitely a thing, and not something to be underestimated. To be honest, I always admired your perseverance in the frequency of your updates, it seemed like something I would never be able to pull off myself, even if I tried.
I haven't engaged with your stuff as much as I'd like to, mainly because my own creative endeavors eat up so much of my time and energy, but I've always been a silent lurker. Take your time, Kigyo, and please don't beat up yourself over self-imposed deadlines. The fact that you're not giving up despite all odds, creating stuff and sharing it with the world is truly a wonderful thing in itself, and something not many people on this planet are able to say they've managed to achieve.
'Truly, I want to make self-indulgent, hopelessly unmarketable games, with no clear hook and a slow start. With deep-dives into ethics and political philosophy, but also innuendos and stupid jokes. With characters that are flawed — sometimes annoyingly so — and feel like real people. I want to stop caring about demand and just selfishly supply whatever the fuck I want. I mean, I've already been doing that anyway, but maybe now I can finally stop feeling bad about it and enjoy the process again.'
This is honestly so well put, I can only wholeheartedly agree with this approach, and wish you success with this mindset. I think people's best work can come into being when stars align like this, and you will always find people who will be able to connect with this most honest part of you. Take as much time as you need, hang in there, and continue being awesome. We're not going anywhere, and we will continue being here whenever you come back.
Viewing post in Pausing Development — It's rough out here comments
OMG Nayru, I'm actually so relieved to hear my words back then encouraged you - I was lowkey worried I had overstepped and said too much!
Admittedly, your own announcement was a huge factor in getting me to reach a similar conclusion, and I'm genuinely thankful for that. You concluding you "didn't make it", yet continuing to make games and posting regular devlogs anyway, made me realize changing one's goals doesn't have to mean the end of the world. If anything, adapting to unfair and harsh realities is probably necessary to be able to sustainably keep going in the first place.
The past few days, I kept waiting for some form of sadness to kick in, but the main thing I've been able to feel is that a massive burden has been lifted. I'm pretty sure that confirms I made the right call, and that I'll be better off this way in the long run. It also helps that you and a bunch of others agree with that assessment. I will try to enjoy this break to the fullest, and look forward to coming back to gamedev with a more relaxed and healthy approach.
Thank you for your kind words, and just know I've also been lurking and keeping up with your works from the sidelines! It warms my heart to see how we all just want what's best for each other, and have each other's backs. I'm really grateful for this community, and that you're also still a part of it.