I like the planetoid setting, which you've clearly put a lot of thought into and a lot of effort on making the map work! I particularly the different sized animals; the small swarm of dragons with different personality aspects are nice too. The writing is a little repetitive in places, I think it could do with being a bit more succinct and focused - in particular, I think most of the Notes to the GM section isn't really necessary, and the paragraph on Dolores is a bit confusing. I do think this has a lot of potential though!