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Grunt.25 days ago(+1)

I really liked this approach to sharing what you've made, especially as someone that enjoys audiobooks with musical accompaniment. Very efficient way of showing all your work that I appreciated a lot!

Your composition as a whole was excellent, like a smaller-scale opera with the way you 'scored' the written story. Also, did you perhaps listen to Dune at any point while writing this? For some reason I kept thinking about it while listening to this from time to time lol.

Also, any mention of robots regardless of genre is peak :)

If I had to give any kind of feedback on the story/worldbuilding itself (not as a writer myself, but mostly as a bookworm), there were two notes I had on a few instances: 1) There were a couple instances of characters interacting with each other that I think would've benefited more from actual dialogue vs the narrator observing and stating what the characters are saying, if that makes sense. It wouldn't have to be every interaction or super extensive, but I think it could've been a nice change for the reader while also giving more life to the characters speaking. 2) The final battle with Ombrilego felt a little brief IMO, and I think could've been a more detailed fight considering that's the event much of the journey has built towards.

Thanks for sharing what you made, and keep up the good work :)

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Eetu Suikkanen24 days ago(+1)

Have not seen or read the Dune movies/books, but the whole addition of robots in this was mostly because I didn't really do any proper world building for my submission to your last OST Album jam so I thought I'd try to do something a bit sci-fi/mecha adjacent for this 😄 

Some of the plot elements do take a lot of inspiration from generic JRPG story elements and shows like Turn A gundam with the weapons that destroyed the world + now later I realized I took the whole praising the dormant weapon as a deity from Beneath the Planet of the Apes, which I had watched for the first time a month before the jam, as that has people in the future after the earths destruction from nuclear fallout, who  worship  an atomic bomb which is really similar 😅

I didn't write any actual dialogue because I'm not good at writing and the few tries at it before have felt too janky, so I just decided to go with only narration of the story beats, because of that a lot of characters are just named, like Justo's friends and never explored further than just the mentions of "Justo and their party/friends" 😅

For the Ombrilego fight I kinda got stuck with working on the music for it after I realized how much it sounded like a bootleg version of One Winged Angel with how similar the elements of it are to that, and since I'd been writing the story stuff in tandem with the music I kinda lost the plot on the story part for that as well 😂

Glad you liked it!

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