Whoa! Reading is playing!
This *is* a trippy, short, extremely linear dungeon. And I like it!
You've captured mood quite well, but the piece is so short, I have already played it just reading it, having substituted my reading self for whatever character I could have brought to it. I guess if I had known... well then I never would have read... but then I never would have known... you can see how structurally, it is missing that replayability.
It reminds me of those bags of little muffins, for lunch snacks. They are so small you almost can't eat each tiny muffin in many bites, and the biting into different pieces is the whole point of muffins.