This is such a good bit of writing , the theme is so evocative and the way the rooms are laid out is really clever. On top of that , when I read the section on Take Down Methods I had to stop and giggle wildly because it was both so entertaining and so alarming at the same time . You have a real talent for hitting both of those tones at the same time , my goodness. The one thing that didn't quite seem to work were the terms  "calm" and "clarity" . I couldn't find a definition of those terms anywhere or the mechanical effect that increasing them has. As far as I can tell, you can only interact with humans by rolling a die whose size is determined by your intel so it might be worth clarifying (haha) where calm and clarity fit in.

Other than that, it's such fun to read. I'm looking forward to seeing the formatted version :)

Al, this is so FLIPPIN neat!

I do agree with Bittybee on a few points - you need definitions for things upfront. I didn’t know what an intel was but since I knew the system I could guess. Most players won’t have the luxury and it’s an easy enough fix.

I totally see how you flipped the room access mechanic and I love it. However, the instructions are confusing for a first time player that would be (again) unfamiliar with this kind of system. Not that your setup wouldn’t work, I think the order in which the instructions roll out may be confusing. As an example, the human location generation paragraph (Page 5) had me scratching my head. But I think it’s the wording. If you placed a period after “Human Containment Room”, for instance, you’d turn that first bit into one complete thought instead of also mixing in one of the rules at the same time. I had to read that one several times to get it. That said the paragraphs after it are giving instructions the player can’t quite use yet, good ones, but a little too soon.

It’s good to have the player begin by flipping over that first card. But you also previously provided all the information about understanding the test subjects. So the player must now go BACK to get that information. Then there’s an explanation of traversing rooms, but we haven’t been told where the test subject begins until a few paragraphs later. See what I mean?

And too be absolutely fair, I understand formatting is a bear and it’s really only that middle portion where things get “hinky”. After that it’s totally copacetic again.

Here are some more concrete things you can use:

I didn’t see an explicit statement on how many boxes to make for Mistakes and Intel but I inferred it was 5. Keep in mind, your players will also need to guess.

Just a suggestion, make Professor Kartr being a permanent member of your research/thesis team more overt (I.e. Apparent without reading his specific text. Could be helpful)

For types of humans: Newly developed cortex is a child or baby?

Make it more apparent with your allies stat bonuses are applied to human subjects or your power levels (mechanics-wise). From the text it looks like they can boost your ability to move a subject to the next room only. You may want to mention this in the section on the colleagues.

Do you mean that one colleague may assist you per day or that EACH colleague may only assist you once per day (or wave)? And if they help you that means you may re-roll a failed movement roll?

I do like the re-work of the travel and room system - this is unique and interesting. However - you may not need the resistance stat, or 3rd stat at all, anymore. As it stands, mathematically, the test subjects have a very good chance of escaping because players begin with 1d4 and the must overcome a challenge score of 5. That means on the first room the player must roll a 4, at least, or the test subject can escape.

How does the emergency sedation spray work? I’m guessing it’s the Player Power, but players won’t know that part.

If I’ve used an ally to help me with a movement roll are they still active when a human breaches containment?

While my human was escaping I totally glossed over the part about anyone being able to help - so I did consider that Icunk was exhausted and only the Professor and Philgu were left. Luckily - it all worked out.

If I’m understanding this correctly, since I sedated the human this ends their run and I just mark it as a Mistake. Right? That’s how I’m going to take it but I don’t see anything straightforward about it.

Now that I’ve gone through one test subject - I think there are some parts that can be streamlined a bit. Chiefly, you game may not need to get rid of resistance. You may just need to SHIFT your 3 dice to 1d6, 1d8, and 1d10. That’s less of a burden on the player and allows you to be clearer. In hindsight, it took me some time to understand what was happening and how it worked but once I did…I was into it? Like the emotion I’VE come away with is FUN. This was fun. I was confused at parts and had to re-read things but I really liked it. Keep in mind, the average player won’t be as motivated as me to complete anything. And I do think there are a number of concepts to keep track of that you could meld together (Like, isn’t a human escaping just a mistake? a different ending thematically but mechanically similar. You could just allow for more mistakes. Maybe. Remember only a suggestion).

Here’s the mock-up page I made in Obsidian while playing:

I hope this helps! And sorry for any grammatical errors on my part. I’m just trying to get it all down so you can have some actionable feedback. But if something is unclear feel free to ask.