Okay, is there something I'm not getting? I usually love strategy games and all the comments seem so positive, but every time I try this game just makes me so annoyed, so often you get into situations that are just unwinnable, or the entire thing is stacked against you from the start because the AI always seems to focus on you, the reputation system means nothing, even at that obnoxious green smiley face they'll gladly screw you over even when it'd be better in the long run to focus a common threat. Playing offensively or defensively doesn't matter because either will get you wrecked. I don't know if the game is unfair or if I'm just terrible, but I know one thing: I'm not having fun.
If you're playing randomly generated maps, yes some of those are unbeatable. All premade maps are beatable though. Reputation system is useful early on but yes eventually they will turn on you. If you want tips on how to improve your game, bring issues you're facing to the discord, there is a very small but very skilled group of players there who have beaten all the campaign maps.