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yeahh! Idk, shes my mom! but at the same time, even if I love her, I feel a bit bitter that she did leave. 

I dont want her to die, and also I understand why she does this. doesnt mean I fully trust her because of Selene. But at the same time I dont also trust most of the ROs either... just because I love them doesnt mean they dont have other agendas....

probably why I'm on low sanity, I cant trust anyone LMAO.
TO BE FAIR I dont think my mc had experienced a stable relationship of any sort! another reason why I really really like how the mc says "I might be selfish" or "greedy" everytime they want love. because like... we already assume that we have to deserve love or affection, and being given that without proving our worth feels like we're taking something that isnt ours. another reason why my mc doesnt trust anyone HELP--

(I dunno, that might just be me tho GDWGDGD) 

speaking of love and all that.... AZARIAASSSS oh my god. 
okay, so obviously I love all the ROs (ashmedai being my first pick) BUT OH MY GOD--

okay hear me out, but like Azarias just gives me pathetic hunter dog vibes. like, they want to care fo you but how do they do it without accidentally biting the hand that pets? 

(OKAY I MIGHT BE WRONG AND JUST PROJECTING MY HEADCANNONS-- BUT UHGHGHGHG....) 

it might be because of that scene in the garden where I wanted to see how they react if I did fight and choke a demon. because most would probably react badly, but Azarias kinda sides with us tho. (probably because they relate to the low sanity thing, but I can be a fool and dream okay?) 

and the fact that when they did transform into their real demon form and lose control, but also felt so sorry and afraid that we kinda got hurt....

I just imagine myself as a poor lamb forcing my hand on the wolf as I dare them to bite me. 

probably not how the moment was supposed to feel. I think I'm just stupid, and just have bad survival instincts.... also I swear I'm usually normal--

ANYWAYS point is, is it bad that I imagine the Morana and low sanity route, where I'm the harbinger and Azarias is my ride or die?? 

hell, I might settle with me dying in their arms as they hold knife that was thrust upon my back. whole circle with Selene I guess HAHAHSAGSGSGSAHGAHG. (imagine the brainworms already kicking in my brain ouuhhh)

also omg Im so sorry if this is long, I just really really like the story!!

(also the fact that I can finally comment!!! AHHH)

also, side note... I CANT BELIEVE IM INTERESTED IN LAZ??? I genuinely thought I wasnt but I just went in their route and..... oh.... oh boy... they better watch out or I just might rip their heart and eat it whole. 

(basically I find them so infuriating, but at the same time I wanna kiss them so much it makes me look stupid. No seriously I will break their heart out of spite. watch me.)