I think there's is a bit too much going on here, the human ear can only focus on so much at any given time. I think the sound effects and quality are fine (a bit of reverb would help though), but less instruments would actually make more of an impact here IMO.
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Yes, happy to help! It's not too bad overall, but part of being a musician is also being a good editor, think of it being like a movie director if that makes sense. Like when you're watching a movie, you don't see all the scenes of the movie at once, but they are presented as a sequence. and even then, the director decides what to focus on. Like they might zoom in on a certain scene, so in a similar fashion, you might want to focus on one of the ambient noises or instruments. It's pretty subjective what to focus on though, so mostly your call - if you felt that the koto wasn't adding to the piece, then trust your intuition. Don't be afraid to take away some things from a piece - sometimes it can be just as effective if not more than adding to it. (this can apply to sound effects too, not just instruments btw)